Saturday, March 6, 2010

Strange ways

I saw a couple of very strange things this Shabbos. The first came as I was walking to 770, that bastion of messianic insanity, and coming up towards me was a woman wearing a tichel. This in itself is not so normal, but it's also not exactly blog material. As she came closer I noticed that she had something in her hand, and she was licking it. No, it wasn't a shiatsu, it was an ice cream bar!

Later on, while walking home from some Shabbos visiting with the dear wife, we encountered what seemed at first to be a normal site: Israeli guy, pointy shoes and tight suit, wearing a kippah, smoking a cigarette- hold on there one moment, smoking a cigarette? On the holy Shabbat day? While wearing a kippah? The mind boggles!

The first incident did not perturb me so much, because I've seen this woman before, and I believe she could be charitably classified under the "Crown Heights Crazies" label. The second case though? I'm just not sure. What in the world was this guy thinking?

72 comments:

Crawling Axe said...

See the history of this group: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazarene_%28sect%29

The Real Shliach said...

I hardly think that's the case.

Crawling Axe said...

It’s exactly the same thing, only accelerated. Nu, we live in the time of high speeds.

The Real Shliach said...

One ice cream does not a summer make.

Crawling Axe said...

One ice cream, one cigarette, one not fasting on the fast day...

How do you think X-ity started? First they called their teacher Messiah. Next they called him G-d. Next they dropped the mitzvos. The group that I linked to were like modern elokistim: calling him G-d, but keeping mitzvos.

Btw, those Jews who called him Messiah but not G-d were treated by the rest of Jews as real Jews, which they were.

sarabonne said...

I also saw that man, he was jsut standing there smoking. Methinks he's just a nut.

The Real Shliach said...

CA: So what are you saying now?

Sara: Hmm, I suppose this is possible.

Yossi said...

well, we should thank them for causing TRS to resume blogging, at least temporarily

Crawling Axe said...

I am saying a certain political group is either a slippery slope (how slippery and how sloppy is another question) or a fly tape for nuts.

The Real Shliach said...

Yossi: I suppose the crazies are good for something, eh?

CA: both, but predominantly the latter.

Crawling Axe said...

TRS, these people need this: http://www.infuture.ru/article/3019

The Real Shliach said...

Why?

Crawling Axe said...

Just look at it!

The Real Shliach said...

I did. I still have no clue what you're talking about. I think the title of this post describe you.

Crawling Axe said...

That’s the nicest thing anyone said to me in the last 10 minutes.

The Real Shliach said...

You should get out more.

Crawling Axe said...

I am out.

The Real Shliach said...

With whom?

Crawling Axe said...

On mivtzoim.

Leo de Toot said...

Dear Mr. R.S.
Surely the characters you describe are merely minor players in the Crown Heights range of behavior? Anyway, I apologize for not having the time to respond your prior posting "Final Thoughts" so would like to return to that topic. (I assume that the laws of blog-world permit one to revisit and comment on earlier writings.) I understand that work, marriage, etc. have encroached on your writing time and may require you to cut back on your blogging, do not underestimate its value. While I am usually lost in the general banter engaged in by your correspondants and yourself, I appreciate your insights, reviews and explanations of religious writings, festivals etc. I realize that the "commercial" websites e.g. chabad.org, provide much insight and information but somehow lack the personal touch. Further, to your credit, you have avoided petty politics, scandals (local and national) and harmful comments regarding same. Particularly to those of us in the (relative) geographic and spiritual wildness, your writings have been particularly meaningful. Best wishes for whatever you determine to be your future direction and next venture, Leo de Toot.

The Real Shliach said...

CA: you were out with mivtzoyim?

LdT: A: Oh yes, certainly minor players, but still an important part of the CH ecosystem, if only because they're possibly serving as canaries.

2: I appreciate your kind words on this topic, and am gratified to hear of your appreciation for my work. I believe I will soldier on, if only to provide a voice for those huddled masses yearning to be free.

e said...

1. Was this ice-cream eater the same lady who makes pasta feasts on fast days and has indefinitely doffed her sheitel?

2. Perhaps this guy wasn't even religious. Maybe he was just looking the part cuz he was spending shabbat in the heights.

3. I believe I already spoke to you about the transitive properties of the verb "to boggle."

4. are the huddled masses not yearning to breathe free? And why aren't they yearning to breathe freely?

Crawling Axe said...

I was fulfilling the Rebbe’s wishes outside of my house and influencing other... creations, shall we say? Does this count?

The Real Shliach said...

e: 1. I've never seen that lady, but I don't think so.

2. Perhaps.

3. Probably. Doesn't mean I would remember them.

4. Who said anything about breathing?

CA: Probably not.

Crawling Axe said...

You would dash my hopes and aspirations so?

The Real Shliach said...

Probably.

Altie said...

I'm guessing the roof on the building he normally hangs out was full.

Dovid said...

Perhaps she was eating ice cream in a reshus hayachid and absentmindedly walked outside into the reshus harabim. She remembered that she learned in such situations you should not stop in the reshus harabim instead you should continue to another reshus hayachid. Then since she was walking anyways with the ice cream in her hand she figured it can't hurt to take a lick.

Dovid said...

Perhaps he had just found out that he's not Jewish, so he picked up the cigarette and carried it to the reshus harabim so that he wont be chayev misah. But then he thought perhaps there is an eiruv, so he lit up the cigarette just to be sure he keeps the Torah.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

TRS: I put tfillin on someone the other day. Does that count?

Altie:ouch!

The Real Shliach said...

Dovid: Six points.

Modeh: Was that someone yourself?

e said...

trs:
3. http://therealshliach.blogspot.com/2008/04/chiropractors-and-jewish-way.html

4. Emma Lazarus, that's who

dovid: a creative thinker you are.

RE: mbm's mivtzoim. I have first-hand knowledge that mbm is an excellent mivtzoimer. He got an ardent atheist to put on tefillin and even say the entire yigdal!

e said...

trs:
3. http://therealshliach.blogspot.com/2008/04/chiropractors-and-jewish-way.html

4. Emma Lazarus, that's who

dovid: a creative thinker you are.

RE: mbm's mivtzoim. I have first-hand knowledge that mbm is an excellent mivtzoimer. He got an ardent atheist to put on tefillin and even say the entire yigdal!

Crawling Axe said...

Saying yigdal canceled out putting on tefillin.

e said...

but said atheist professed belief in god, moses, the afterlife and all that jazz. Is that not a great accomplishment?

Feivel ben Mishael said...

Actually X-ianity started when a certain person said something offensive to his teacher and was told to leave. After many attempts at reconciliation he despaired of being reaccepted and he turned to avoda zara.

See that is completely unlike what is happening here.

Crawling Axe said...

It also started in a completely different climate and time zone.

let's talk history, not fundi crap said...

PUUULLLEEEZZ!!! Bullshit

The Real Shliach said...

e: 3: Who says my mind did not in fact boggle?

4: So?

CA: Hey, I also used to say Yigdal, when I was a wee tot in Milwaukee.

e: It is impressive. MBM, we applaud you.

Feivel: Exactly! I didn't hocheiach tocheiach anyone!

CA: If only JC had lived in Moscow, everything would be different...

Crawling Axe said...

Were you also putting on tefillin?

What would be different?

The Real Shliach said...

No.

Everything.

Crawling Axe said...

See!

Actually, it would be impossible for Yoshka to be born in Moscow, because Moscow exists thanks to Yoshka. I am sure there is some clever moshol from halacha or possibly quantum mechanics one could bring to illustrate this.

The Real Shliach said...

See what?

Moscow exists because of JC? Actually, Moscow exists because of G-d. Unless you're saying that the two are one?

Crawling Axe said...

See that the fact that you said yigdal when you were not yet wrapping tefillin is not an excuse for someone who does wrap tefillin to say yigdal.

Moscow doesn’t exist “because” of G-d. “Because” implies causal relationship — ilah v’alul. G-d and the Universe don’t have causal relationship. Hashem creates the Universe yesh m’ayin. Saying that something is “because” of something else implies that within realms of the reality, that something else was the ilah of this phenomenon’s metzius.

As it happened, Russia became a unified political power in the Middle Ages only thanks to influence of Byzantine Empire, which happened through the vehicle of X-ity (both as an attractant, such as in the case of Russian princess Olga visiting the cathedral in Constantinople, and as a medium of influence). Without X-ity and Byzantine culture, Kiev Rus would not be what it had become. Without that, Novgorod and Moscow would never rise to their political influence during the Mongol occupation, and Moscow would never become a large political center after expulsion of Mongols.

The Real Shliach said...

Whyever not?

Enough semantics, you know what I mean.

So, basically, there was a Moscow, it just wasn't the Moscow we all know and love.

Crawling Axe said...

Confounds. Context. Connecticut.

You can’t deny causal relationship between events just because Eibeshter is the sole cause of all existence. It’s one of the primary principles of Torah (called “Torah”).

Lav davka. Most likely Moscow appeared because of increase in civilization in Russia resulting in emergence of new towns.

Likewise, had the kidneys of George III been healthy, Washington D.C. would not exist. America would still be independent most likely, but things would be different. As Benjamin Franklin said, “a grasshopper burping in Boston can cause a hurricane in New Orleans”.

The Real Shliach said...

Veni, vidi, vici.

Moving right along...

Au contraire!

Altie said...

modeh- i assume you never read my post on this topic.

http://alta-b.blogspot.com/2009/08/what-are-you-supposed-to-do.html

it is true, i kid you not. there is such a hang out. and you know what they say about taking offense for something...

Crawling Axe said...

Saying it’s stupid to hang out on the roof is the same as being a vegetarian.

And a one-way mirror mechitza is not tzniusdik.

Altie said...

if you followed the link then ur commenting on the wrong post. plus i dont think that was the point.

i think its stupid to be a vegitarian too but each to his own.

Modeh B'Mitktsas said...

altie: I never doubted there was such a hangout. HTey exist everywhere which is utterly besides the point. You just don't accuse people of availing themselves thereof. In the official version, nobody hangs out there yet it is mysteriously full anyway.

CA: what do you have against yigdal? Besides, it was the lubavitcher yigdal too!

TRS:someone else entirely.

Random question for the crowd: Why do bochurim go on mivtzoyim with their Rabbeinu Tams?

e said...

Wtf is a "lubavticher yigdal"?

The Real Shliach said...

Modeh: In case we meet any snags who haven't put them on yet.

Crawling Axe said...

MBM: not everything that’s nice to say should be said, as A"R answered to the Berditchever about Yigdal. (Mostly it was a joke, so don’t read into it.)

I wonder too what a Lubavitch Yigdal is.

Crawling Axe said...

(What I said about Yigdal was a joke, not what A"R said.)

Anonymous said...

Well, regarding the R"T - that's a bit "sticky" to don a "one-timer" on others, as one is meant to keep wearing them (not so as for Rashi, Not sure re source now).

Interestingly enough, in the Purim 1976 sicha re R"T for all Chabad @ 13 (till then, a bochur would ask the Rebbe if he's up to it, and after 18 would be norm) --

the Rebbe mentions that it's a segula of sorts for Geulah, were all Jews to wear R"T. (only thing is, as mentioned earlier - to get "long-term commitments" in this regard would be on the tough side [=an understatement]..)

The Real Shliach said...

And once again my jokes are not appreciated...

Crawling Axe said...

TRS, it’s not chassidish to deadpan.

The Real Shliach said...

Really? Whoops.

Crawling Axe said...

Or to whistle.

The Real Shliach said...

That's false.

Crawling Axe said...

Source?

The Real Shliach said...

You ever watched a video of Kos Shel Bracha?

Crawling Axe said...

Possibly. Link?

Yossi said...

there's the whole story with the algemeiner writing a story about the Rebbe whistling, and how snag rabanim said you aren't allowed to whistle (or maybe they said not on shabbos) and the Rebbe was upset at the chassidim for not defending the Rebbe, and bringing clear proof from Tanach (dovid hamelech possibly?) that not only is whistling permitted, but it brings the geulah...

The Real Shliach said...

CA: if I don't watch, why would I link? Regardless, ask Peretz.

Yossi: thank you.

Crawling Axe said...

Yet another unchassidish behavior which is apparently unchassidish because it annoys the mashpia (or a local shliach).

What’s next? Wearing denim skirts? Cracking knuckles at the table? Reading goyish novels?

The Real Shliach said...

Watching or whistling?

Crawling Axe said...

Watching what?

Whistling.

The Real Shliach said...

Nu, happens.

e said...

it says in the bible that when the messiah comes, god will whistle to gather the jews.

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