Smiles

Exactly twenty four months after my marriage, and eighteen after Yossi Shomer's, I attended the nuptials of my dear chavrusa and partner in argument, Michoel (Moo) Rose. Not only did I teach him the proper role of aircraft carriers in WWII, but I also helped him develop a lot of character. You're welcome Mrs. Rose. 

 

Pretty brutal, eh?

As the Chassanim were being called up to the Torah this week by R' Gerlitzky I marveled at their well faces and wondered if any would be at 770 in the coming week for my newly-customary 6:45 Shacharis. As the Torah was being read I wondered if any of them were taking eternal lessons from the portion that has fallen to their lot, and if any of them noticed how brutal this week's Parsha was in that department. Here's a short summary thereof:
__
Kohen (Aliyah #1): Marry some beautiful woman on the battlefield, but first see her debased.

Have two wives, one of whom you hate.

Testify in court that your son should be die.
__
Whoever got Levi (Aliyah #2) got off easy- the only thing in there is a prohibition against cross-dressing, though I suppose that this week's crop of clean shaven grooms might have a hard time with that one.
__
Yisroel (Aliyah #3): If a man marries, hates her, and claims she wasn't all pure and virginal when the nuptials occurred.

Get into a massive fight with your in-laws.

Pay lots of money for defaming your wife.

Result in your wife being stoned (not in a good way).

No Adultery!

Seduce a betrothed girl? You both die.

Rape a betrothed girl? Only you die.

Seduce a single girl, pay a fine.
__
Fourth Aliyah: No promiscuous men or women.
__
Fifth Aliyah: Guy divorces his wife, she gets remarried, the next husband divorces her too. First husband wants her back? No go, Joe.
__
Sixth Aliyah (Finally, something propitious!): If a guy marries a new wife, then he doesn't have to serve in the army. Not only that, but he has to gladden her for a whole year.
__
Seventh Aliyah: When there are two brothers, and one of them dies without issue, then the wife of the deceased has to either marry her brother-in-law or perform a ceremony, at which point his refusal to perpetuate his brother's memory is publicized throughout Israel.

If two guys are fighting, and the wife of one of them comes in to rescue her husband, and grabs the embarrassing place of the other guy, then her palm gets cut off. No pity.
__
At least Maftir (Aliyah 7.5)is relatively simple. All you have to do is wipe out the remembrance of Amalek from under the heaven. Benign stuff, really.
___
So there you have it folks- five of this week's eight possible portions were filled with cautionary tales re: marriage. Hope those Chassanim take it to heart, along with the hangovers they're undoubtedly enjoying.

Dairy days

At some point in the not-so distant past Nemo said that he missed the good 'ol days, when serious discussion took place on this here blog. As I was perusing an old post I noticed that he (check out that beard!) indeed had a point- the conversation on this blog was at one point on a higher intellectual level. What happened? Ich vais nisht. Maybe it was the girls. After all, the first one wasn't even outed until I was with Yossi in CT. Speaking of that, I'm sure we're all very excited that Sebastion and Penelope can finally live ever after happily. Meanwhile, it was just about two short years ago that e, Tanyachaz, and I were planning our trip to Israel. Good times, eh? So much has changed since then, and yet so much has remained the same.

Anyway, way back when, I wrote a post that didn't quite turn out the way it should have. As Nemo commented at the time, "Sorry, was a little hard to follow and there were a number of disconnects in the explanation." Here's a (slightly edited) version.

Yesterday (May 28, 2008) I came across an interesting item in the Sefer Taamei Minhagim Umkorei Hadinim by Rabbi Moshe Sperling. He brings down the Rokeach who states that the consumption of dairy products was, until the giving of the Torah, forbidden, and so when the the Torah was given the Jews celebrated by eating cheesecake.

Why was dairy forbidden in the first place? Because it's Aiver Min Hachai, i.e. a limb from a living animal. I thought, "Hey, that's a really cool answer!" and determined to track down the source, which turned out to be the Gemara in Bechoros, which thanks to Artscroll I didn't have to break my head over. A lot of what I'm going to write now is based on their translation and commentary; as far as I can recall there's no prohibition involved, but if there is....

The Gemara on 6B (2, for those keeping score with their Artscrolls) states that we would have thought that a person can use milk from a non-Kosher animal, because we're allowed to use milk from a Kosher animal. The Gemara brings two reasons for this: The first is that milk is made from blood, which is normally prohibited. When Hashem permitted blood, we would think that he permitted milk (transformed blood) from all creatures. Therefore the Torah has to specifically lay down the law. There is a problem with this answer according to one opinion (look it up), so the Gemara brings the additional rationale that since Hashem permitted us to use a "limb" (milk) from a living Kosher animal, we would think he permitted us to use a "limb" (milk) from any living animal. This is why the Torah has to specify that dairy from a non-Kosher source is prohibited.

Milk being a "limb" is pretty hard to understand, because it seems to be a separate entity; therefore many Acharonim say that the Gemara holds there should be a problem with dairy because it's from an animal that hasn't been shechted properly.

I don't understand why this would answer the question. According to the simple way of learning the Gemara, the problem is that the milk is a "limb", and eating dairy from a live animal would seem to be forbidden. According to the way the Acharonim explain it, the problem is that you're eating something which wasn't shechted properly. It's a problem to eat something which wasn't shechted properly because it's (the milk) considered to be...what? If shechting solves the problem, why is this called Aiver Min Hachai by the Gemara? It's entirely a problem of schechita. The Gemara seems to be saying that the reason we're allowed to eat dairy is because the prohibition of Aiver Min Hachai was relaxed by Hashem in the case of Kosher milk.
The Gemara implies that before Matan Torah dairy from a dead animal was permitted. According to the Acharonim, would that mean that before Matan Torah only dairy from a properly shechted animal was permitted? In general, are non-Jews nowadays allowed to have milk? It would seem that they can only have milk from a dead animal; after all, we got the Torah which allows to have dairy from a live cow, but non-Jews didn't get the Torah. According to the Acharonim, this wouldn't seem to be a problem, because non-Jews are only commanded to not eat a limb from a living animal; they have nothing to do with shechita.

Before the giving of the Torah, what was the issue according to the Acharonim? They say that the issue is shechita. Before Matan Torah, no one kept shechita anyway, because there were no Jews to shecht. In general, with regards to meat, I assume that they ate meat that post-Matan Torah is not permitted. So before Matan Torah, the Acharonim would allow a non-Jew to have dairy from any dead animal, while a Jew could only have from a Kosher animal (remember, they kept all the laws of the Torah before Matan Torah). After Matan Torah, without the Torah's special dispensation, a Jew is only allowed dairy from a properly slaughtered animal. A non-Jew can have dairy from any dead animal, since they don't have a problem with eating non-properly slaughtered animals. With the Torah's dispensation, a Jew can have dairy from a live Kosher animal, though it has not been shechted.

I don't understand how allowing dairy from an animal which has not been properly slaughtered is the same as allowing dairy from a living animal. It seems that the Acharonim are merely allowing us to have dairy from a properly shechted animal.

The simple explanation of the Gemara makes a lot more sense (in my humble [and probably deficient] opinion. Before Matan Torah, all milk from dead animals was permitted; after the giving of the Torah, milk from a live Kosher animal was permitted.

Non-Jews still seem to have a problem, because the Torah did not permit them to have milk from a live animal, whether Kosher or non-Kosher, but this is not my problem.

Anyway, the Gemara asks a simple question: How do we know that the Torah allowed us to have milk from a Kosher animal? It brings several proofs, quickly knocks them away, and ends with three Pesukim from which to learn the dispensation. The first is in 1 Samuel, 17:18, where David was given cheese from his father Yishai for his brothers on the battlefield. This verse only seems to prove that dairy is permitted, but it's not Hashem coming down with fire and brimstone and saying, "Thou mayest eateth the milk of thine beasts!" The next Passuk is from Shemos 3:17, "A land flowing with milk and honey." Would Hashem praise the land with forbidden items? This verse seems to be more in the vein of a command, but it's still not the same. The third Passuk is from Isiah 55:1, where he tells people to go buy and eat milk, implying that it's fine.

Well well well well well

The title of this post is exactly what I thought when I saw the following "New Engagement: Dovid Ghods - Los Angeles, CA and Eliana DuBrow - Los Angeles, CA". Funny how things work out, eh? This morning I saw Dovid in 770 and I figured he had come here to date, but I didn't mention anything of the sort, and after a brief conversation we were back to Davening. I did ask him what the story with the blog was- he said he was "busy". I can understand that.

10-4

As I was leaving the Lchaim tonight the chosson called out to me, "Make sure I'm on the blog tonight!" I responded that of course he'd be featured, at which point the chosson's brother said (a bit derisively) something along the lines of, "What's your blog, '(the official TRS+le7 last name)'. blogspot.com?" When I told him the actual address he gasped, "You're the real shliach!" I informed him that this was indeed the case. He said that he had just found my blog a day or two before, attempting to figure out if there was a specific maamar to be said at a lchaim. He said that the picture on the top left looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. Anyway, I'm glad we cleared that up for him.

Meanwhile, a big Mazal Tov to Binyomin Kulek, engaged to Mushky Karp of Cincinnati, Ohio, which means that I won't be able to reciprocate Binyomin's coming to my wedding. Oh well. At least I was able to attend tonight's Lchaim, which was quite nice, featuring as it did many friends and plenty of rum balls. It's a little known fact that one of the best Bar Mitzvah presents I received was five pounds of rum balls (thanks Dr. W).

In other news, tonight I experienced "A Tale of Two Targets". The first, at Atlantic Terminal, was crowded and ill-stocked. The items we (TRS+le7) wanted to buy were nowhere to be found, and eventually we decided to leave. At that point I mentioned that for a small fee we could relocate to the Flatbush Target, just a subway ride away, where we might, if lucky, locate our desired goods. We made our way to our second Target of the night, and lo and behold, it was far superior to the first. We quickly located one of the desired items, and turned to look for the others. There was only one on the shelf, but a helpful salesman quickly found another two for us, explaining that the one off the shelf looked a bit ragged (which it did) and he'd switch it out for us.

Suffice it to say that I was very impressed, especially when compared with the other Target. The selection was far superior, there were much fewer customers, and it seemed like the staff were more interested in being helpful. Not, of course, that I generally like to talk to staff, but that's a different post.

Sunday Monday Happy Days!

I should make a label entitled, "embarrassing social occasions I have lived through". Actually, that's a bit redundant- virtually every social occasion I have lived through has been embarrassing in one way or another. Tonight's installment came courtesy of a good friend of mine from LA (and later in Morristown), Yankel Wilansky, who got engaged just a little while ago. My wife (the inimitable le7) informed me of the happy occasion as I was washing dishes, though her reason for mentioning it was because Yankel got engaged to Mushka Grossbaum of S. Paul, that beloved (semi)hometown of mine. When my wife told me the happy news I said, "Hey, Yankel Wilansky from Maine?" "Sure thing," she replied, "from Portland." I immediately dried my hands and called him up, and heard that the lchaim was on Monday night at Chovevei Torah, but the pre-lchaim was at a mutual acquaintance. I decided not to go, but then I changed my mind and went. These things happen.

I left about twenty minutes after I had spoken with Yankel, and I figured that the party was in full swing. Imagine my surprise when I walked in and discovered that the place was virtually empty! Turns out the happy couple were not yet back from the Ohel (something about saying the entire Maaneh Lashon) and consequently I was stuck. Not to say that I wasn't made welcome, but it was a bit awkward. The last time I went to one of these pre-lchaim shindigs (Hey Zalman Aharon) I was in the room for about thirty seven seconds, and if I hadn't run into Ben Tzion Friedman I would have been in the house for just about that amount of time. Here, on the other hand, there was patently no Chassan to congratulate, so I was left to eating popcorn and making smalltalk with a future brother in law (another Ben Tzion, oddly enough).

People slowly trickled in, and after they had said "Mazel Tov" to everyone else in the room they would turn to me and say something along the lines of, "And whose side are you from?" As it happens, I have a connection to both sides, but it's hard to explain such subtleties in five seconds. Thus passed an awkward time which only abated when Yankel walked in. I proceeded to make several phone calls notifying friends and acquaintances of the happy proceedings, which of course mandated my staying put until they arrived.

Did I appear strange in the eyes of my fellow party-goers for staying so long? Possibly. But I can't live my life worrying about what other people think-I have enough problems with what I think.

In tomorrow night's exciting episode, catch TRS by the lchaim, where despite the crowding milieu he somehow manages to feel awkward.

Morton hears a moo

When it precipitates, the salt comes out in vast torrents. Of course, if NY, has its way, there will be no more salt food. Aside from the obvious, like how will they serve cold cuts, there remains a deeper issue. Generally, in order to stop something, it's wise to not only stop the result but also the effect. In this case, will NY stop the rain so that the salt will stop pouring? I merely inquire.

In any case, a big Mazal Tov to Yossi and Bat Sheva Shomer on their wedding last night. It was quite the wedding, as these things go, and Yossi danced very nicely. I'd post some photos of myself from the wedding, but none of the websites have posted anything yet, so perhaps I'll post some at a later time. I also had quite the tête-à-têt with Rabbi Chaim Schapiro, among others (as in, I had conversations with others, not that the tête-à-têt was with others, which of course is impossible.

Earlier in the day I bumped into the several times aforementioned Shaya Lowenstein and his bride to be, Mushka Raigorodsky, who informed me their plans to be nuptialized in beautiful Los Angeles, California. Did I just say beautiful? Ha! The only beautiful part of LA, CA, is inside 7215 Waring Avenue, Los Angeles, California 90046. Regardless, I asked the future Lowensteins if they'd be flying me out to their wedding as part of the shadchanus gelt they owe me. I was told to take my wife for a honeymoon in LA. Forget that LA is a terrible place for a honeymoon, and that attending someone you don't know from bean's wedding for six hours is a miserable thing which I would never do to my wife, I still thought my ticket should be sponsored- after all, I made the shidduch, correct (it would be difficult to fly a basement anywhere)? Shaya mentioned that just like I went to my shadchan's wedding, I should go to his. As the Rosh would say, "touché"!

Update

Big Mazal Tov to Zalman Friedman (Big Fan) on his engagement to Brochie Marazov (presumably a future big fan).

Also, here's a couple pics of yours truly at last night's wedding, courtesy of COL.

In this pic you can see me and Chaz looking into each other's eyes. Rather strange.
Only two of the people in this pic are currently married. Email me if you want info about any of the others...

Better late than never, eh?

Last night I attended yet another lchaim, and this time, I'm sorry to say, I did not encounter Shaya Lowenstein while I was walking home. Actually, I encountered my chavrusa from last year, but that's a different story for a different time. The reason I did not encounter Rabbi Lowenstein on my walk home was because it was in fact his lchaim. Yes, once again, the power that is TRS has worked its funky voodoo thing again. A few months after only the briefest of mentions, Shaya is engaged to Mushka Raigorodsky of LA, CA. Do I take full credit for this remarkable turn of events? I'm much too humble for that, but I will begin accepting advertisement from eligible singles.

Mazal Tov Mendel+Dvora!!

Most of you know my sister as an awesome cook, master hostess, and mother of two of the cutest daughters ever. This morning she added a baby boy to the mix- my very first nephew! Anyway, it's a big party, and you're all invited- more details to follow.

TGL and his descendants

First thing's first, a big Mazal Tov to Reuven Kasten and his wife Tzipora (read about their wedding here) on the birth of a baby daughter. Mazal Tov also to Shmuelie and Hindy Bortunk (read about their wedding here) on the birth of their firstborn daughter. A fun time round for all, eh?

Meanwhile, in other news, it has come to my attention that today's Torah portion deals with that most noble of creatures, the lion. As you may well know, the lion, otherwise known as Panthera leo, is best known for having perfected what is known as the "male dominance" lifestyle, wherein the male sleeps all day and the female does all the hunting. Females may dispute this, and claim that responsibility equals power, but real lions know the truth.

The best wedding picture ever

Dangerous Ground

Last night I was walking home from the lchaim of Yitzchak Lerman, with whom I spent countless hours last year commuting from Morristown to New York. As I was walking back from the festivities (and some decent sesame chicken) I ran into a couple of friends of mine, Shaya Lowenstien and he who (intelligently) prefers not to be named, and Shaya mentioned that he's never been mentioned on this here blog. I told him that I'd mention that he's single and looking for a soul mate, and he laughed and said "Great!" I don't think he believed me when I said it though...

Wishes spoken, desires known

I just got back from a mini-blogger convention... e, Nemo, and oh yeah, SZB. Did I mention that this little convention was in fact SZB's lchaim? Nice, eh?

Reports of my disintegration have been exaggerated

Crazy thing, this whole marriage shebang. Takes up a whole lot of time, you know? Seriously.

Meanwhile... the esteemed leader of our local congregation Rabbi Asher Zeilengold attended the Sheva Brachos on the first night of Rosh Hashanah, and mentioned to me there that he thought I was trying to put my own political views into the discussion when I was saying the maamar by the Kabbalos Panim. I thought he was referring to the part where it goes on a bit of a rant about how Jews are so much better than non-Jews. I, cognizant of my audience, had inserted a whole thing about how "What it means is that Jews are not bound by nature and non-Jews are", or something to that effect.

I asked the Rabbi what he meant, and he said, "You kept on saying how Obama is bad!" I said, "Huh?" He said, "Sure, in the maamar, it talks about before davening, when a person considers himself to be a bama, a structure, meaning that he's haughty and full of himself!"

Cute, eh?

PSA

TRS's aufruf will IY"H be in the Rebbe's room this Shabbos (Nitzavim-Vayelech), and the kiddush will take place downstairs at around 1:30. All bloggers are expected to attend.

We is never alone!

I know I promised to continue writing about Tachanun, but it's the 12 of Tammuz today, and I thought it'd be inappropriate to write about it (and I nixed OC 312 for obvious reasons). Instead I have tremendous news to announce: the wedding is on the the 25th of Elul, the birthday of the world! That's right folks, pencil it in, it's gonna be a wild ride. In Milwaukee. Listen, I know, it's going to be tough trying to avoid driving to Chicago for the pizza or the ballgame, but I'm sure you'll manage.

Listen, I understand if you can't make it to the wedding. So how about popping into 770 for the aufruf on Shabbos Selichos? Can you say "12 hour party?" Yup. Good times.

Oh, and one more thing. Want to see what TRS+le7 are stocking their future home with? Well now you can! (I know you're excited).

Post Roundup

It's like a mini Haveil Havalim!

Frum Satire, who is claiming shadchanus gelt along with Nemo, gave us Frum Satire makes a shidduch. He also had a video of the event.

Next up we have a roundup of the whole event from Shriki at Blogger Engagement.

Real and Wright (burgundy shirt!) has a Bloggers' Convention.

C is feeling happy and sad with Mixed up with emotions.

Sara writes a bit at Days Gone By....

Chanie says WOW!

Shmais has some nice comments, as does Crownheights.info and COLlive.com.

If I've missed anyone, tell me, and y'all have a great Shavuos, and accept the Torah with joy and inner shtuff!

Mazel Tov! TRS+le7-It's Official!

The clergy: Do you, TRS, solemnly swear to blog forever together with le7, bound up in the manacles of marriage, committed to the principles of liberte, fraternite, egalite, 'til 6:00 AM do us part?

TRS: Quite.

The clergy: And do you. le7, solemnly swear to blog forever together with TRS, bound up in the manacles of marriage, committed to the principles of liberte, fraternite, egalite, 'til 6:00 AM do us part?

le7: Indeed.

The clergy: Is there then any objection from any blogger, man or woman? If not, then forever keep your pc.

The crowd: Silence (except for the clicking and clacking of keys [who is the audience if not our fellow bloggers?], of course).

The clergy: Then with the power invested in me by Google and Blogger I pronounce you, TRS+le7, chassan and kallah. TRS, you may now [censored].
---
The party's tonight, Wednesday the fifth of Sivan, the 27th of May, 9:30 and onward, at Congregation Beloved Companions (Rayim Ahuvim), the corner of Carroll and Schenectady. Miss it at your peril!