HH 253: The Real Work Edition

Do you know what time it is? It's Haveil Havalim time! As always I'm doing this at a time way past my bed time, because my good friend Yossi Shomer (Toronto) just got engaged to Batsheva Schreiber (West Hartford) and their lchaim was recently the scene of much celebration by myself, which resulted in, as I said, a rather late putting together of this week's HH. Nu nu. Meanwhile, welcome to another exciting edition of Haveil Havalim, number 253, and as always:

Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs -- a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It's hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term 'Haveil Havalim,' which means "Vanity of Vanities," is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other 'excesses' and realized that it was nothing but 'hevel,' or in English, 'vanity.'

Moving right along, on with the show, and remember that just because I wrote something doesn't mean I meant it, and just because I didn't write something doesn't mean I didn't mean it.

So then...

Chabad.org this week blogged about the Friendship Circle in West Bloomfield, Michigan, which this week inundated everyone's inboxes and Facebook and Twitter and whatnot's with pleas to vote for them. For those who don't yet know, the FC finished in fourth place and received $100,000 which is a pretty nice chunk of change, though it's obviously not the big payday we were all hoping for.

Next up we have Haiti, that penniless island nation with a penchant for bad news. Jacob Richman wrote about an IDF Search and Rescue Team Saves Man while Batya presents Trying to "Whitewash" The Israeli Contribution in Haiti . Harry gave us some more love with Israelis do their part in Haiti, while Lady-Light had More on Israeli Efficiency and Chesed* and Eric had A Reader Comment About Haiti. Fern Chasida Rabinovitz told us about her National Pride, which is quite understandable. The message from all, of course, is that Israel rocks the house, even if they can't qualify for the World Cup, and anyone who stands in the way of our world dominat-I mean, world salvati-I mean, helping people out, will be swiftly dealt with by us Jewish blogger people. Providing a glorious opportunity for a nice little segue, Batya has a very serious critique of Israel (as opposed to the utterly non-serious previous sentence directly preceding this one about Israel's plans for taking over the world [I just had to make sure y'all understand that was a joke]) with Bullet-Proof, The Fashion I'd Rather Not Need Again, And Thoughts About Israel Helping Haiti, which calls to mind the Talmudic dictum regarding charity starting at home.

As I said, that was a nice segue into some more postings about Israel, including Joel Katz with Religion and State in Israel - January 18, 2010 (Section 1) and Religion and State in Israel - January 18, 2010 (Section 2), very convenient, I know. Continuing in the Israel-religion (aren't the two mutually exclusive?) vein, Batya gives us Religious Freedom in Israel, Bad News for The Jews, and Harry has a post (Second Seasons) about an Israeli tv show called Serugim. Far be it from me to offer an opinion, but from his description of the show, it sure didn't seem like it was about religious singles. Soccer Dad has Galaxies Apart, which features pictures of our holy land (always a good thing), Harry has some more on that landscape with Nostalgia Sunday – Pressed Wildflowers, and Anthony rounds this sentence up nicely while he questions the Israeli High Court with Route 443: Is the High Court Correct?.

Next up is the Yisrael Medad section!

Yisrael Medad presents My Right Word: Amy's Very Jewish Father posted at My Right Word, saying, "MyRightWord notes that Amy Winehouse's father is no different than any Jewish father."

Yisrael Medad presents The Mumble-Jumble of Mondoweiss posted at My Right Word, saying, "MyRightWord decided to take on a leading antizionist."

Yisrael Medad presents There Went Another posted at My Right Word, saying, "Yisrael Medad discovered another Israeli media star who has returned to Judaism. What's happening in Tel Aviv?"

Other shtuff

Chabad presents BLOG: About Black Boxes and Jewish Pride posted at lubavitch.com Chabad-Lubavitch news site. As in, next time you're on an airplane, remember that sometimes exciting things happen.

Mottel presents Of Ivy League Towns and Good Beer posted at Letters of Thought, saying, "have a good shabbos" to which I say, "Thank you very much, I did, and I hope yours was equally fulfilling."

Suzy presents The STILL suggestion posted at A bit of Light, and once I'm finished this Haveil Havalim I'll be sure to take her suggestion under consideration, probably in bed. Asleep.

Yossi presents Worldwide Cooties Pandemic which is pretty much self explanatory.

Yossi also presented Running of the Hats, which describes one of the cultural institutions for which Brooklyn is justly famous.

Risa presents The Banality of Love posted at Isramom, saying, "Review of a play"

Batya presents G-d's Canvas posted at me-ander.

Lady-Light presents Screwy U.S. Airline Security Measures-Ripe for Satire posted at Tikkun Olam, saying, "This is so silly, it could have been under "US Airport Security"--er--"Humor."

History

Soccer Dad presents Remembering the Lamed Heh -- 35 who fought to save Gush Etzion posted at The Muqata جميل في المقاطعة.

HumorLady-Light presents BEST Made-Up Family Word EVER (nablopomo day#10) posted at Tikkun Olam.

Judaism (Our glorious religion)

Micah Streiffer presents Virtually Jewish posted at חוץ מזה - Chutz Mizeh - Otherwise....

David Morris presents Jewish Press - Saving Our Children From Abuse, by David Morris posted at Tzedek-Tzedek, saying, "An article from Tzedek-Tzedek now published in Jewish Press - about the problems of reporting child abuse cases to the police in orthodox communities.

Mordechai Torczyner presents Rabbi Herschel Solnica, z"l posted at The Rebbetzin's Husband.

David Morris presents Directed Anger - Surviving Child Sex-Abuse & Incest posted at Tzedek-Tzedek.

Rachel Barenblat presents Velveteen Rabbi: The nursing mother tallit posted at Velveteen Rabbi, to which I say, "Hey, I've been using my wool tallis for months now without washing..."

Kashrut

Shira Salamone presents Creeping toward consistent kashrut? posted at ON THE FRINGE—AL TZITZIT, saying, "Believe it or not, frozen pancakes help me keep kosher."

Shira Salamone presents Consistent kashrut? Not quite posted at ON THE FRINGE—AL TZITZIT, saying, "Good luck try to keep kosher without convincing your family and friends that you think you're "holier than thou."

Personal

leah aharoni presents The Danger of Parenting Books posted at Ingathered.

Mordechai Torczyner presents The Tyranny of the BCC posted at The Rebbetzin's Husband.

Laura Weisskopf Bleill presents Being a Jew in C-U: Quality, Not Quantity posted at ChambanaMoms.com, saying, "Thanks!", to which I respond, "You're welcome!"

Hadassah Sabo Milner presents Blatant Racism and Judgmentalism « In the Pink posted at In the Pink, saying, "i wasn't sure which category to place this in - I trust your judgment"-to which I say, "That's funny, because I sure don't trust my judgment."

Hadassah Sabo Milner presents My kids are in shidduchim!! posted at In the Pink, which must be the most stressful thing in the whole world. Do you want your kid coming home with some creep? I didn't think so.

Home Shuling presents Talking about God posted at Home-shuling.

Home Shuling presents Taking care of ourselves posted at Home-shuling.

Politics

SnoopyTheGoon presents The water libel: Zionists flooding Gaza to drown Palestinians posted at SimplyJews.

SnoopyTheGoon presents Extremist in Egypt, teacher in London, what else are you, Reza Pankhurst? posted at SimplyJews

Torah

Batya presents Transition Leaders, Moses and Samuel posted at Shiloh Musings

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of haveil havalim
using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Technorati tags: haveil havalim, blog carnival.

Jewish Tweetup

Attention Tweeters and Bloggers, JewsNews.net and FrumSatire.net have teamed up to throw a Jewish Tweetup in NY at the 92Y in Tribeca on Wednesday night. IY"H le7 and I will be there, and there'll be free food (even kosher!), so it should be a wild party. Yup.

Plus, yours truly is featured (not so) prominently in this week's Haveil Havalim, live at Snoopy the Goon.

Haveil Havalim 222: The The The The The Edition

Welcome to the I'm-writing-this-Haveil-Havalim-on-Tuesday-because-I-have-a-smicha-test-(melicha, simanim 69-78)-on-Sunday-morning-and-I-need-more-than-three-hours-of-sleep-the-night-before-edition of HH!

Or maybe it's the My-kallah-is-in-town-and-I-have-better-things-to-do-(I know your skeptical, but it's true)-than-sit-in-front-of-a-computer-screen-for five-hours-reading-people's-posts-edition of HH!

Perhaps it's the I've-always-desperately-wanted-attention-and-I've-finally-figured-out-a-sure-fire-way-to-get-it-edition of HH!

Or maybe it's the I've-just-used-more-hyphens-in-four-paragraphs-than-the-average-blogger-uses-in-a-month's-worth-of-blogging-edition of HH!

Because, as you know, every Haveil Havalim has to have a theme, a leitmotif, a general idea running throughout that connects the disparate posts into the semblance of a whole that we might wish them to be, an association of thoughts that act together (in concert) in a presentation of commonality that might be missing if the theme weren't there, a... you get the point. So, without further ado, I present to you THE GREATEST HAVEIL HAVALIM TO EVER BE (PARTIALLY) TYPED ON AN iPOD TOUCH (OS 2.1!) IN THE HISTORY OF MAN OR MACHINE!

But first, a word from our sponsors...

Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs -- a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It's hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term 'Haveil Havalim,' which means "Vanity of Vanities," is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other 'excesses' and realized that it was nothing but 'hevel,' or in English, 'vanity.'

So here we are, all ready for a new edition of HH, and the time has come for me to make a big admission of guilt: Whenever a new HH is hot off the press I immediately scroll down looking for my name and seeing what was written about me. Because really, isn't that the point? I'm sure I'm not the only blogger who engages in this shockingly narcissistic behavior, and therefore I'm saddened to have to tell the vast majority of you that in fact I won't be writing anything particularly special about you. Sorry. Now on with the show.

First of all, most importantly, my wonderful Kallah le7 blogged all about our meeting and engagement for The Jewish Wedding Network with First Comes Blog, Then Comes Marriage, and she also blogged about other facets of being engaged on her own blog, Free Elisheva!, with Stream of Unconsciousness: Wamma Bamma Engagement Update Edition. For really cute pictures of my (and her future) nieces, check out The Day After: A trip to the Brooklyn Children's Museum over on the TRS+le7 blog.

Antisemitism

Chabad.org presents When Jews are Targets posted at My Views on the News, saying, "Delusions become dangerous not when we start to believe them but when we stop questioning. Why are we afraid to face the obvious facts? Because the facts hurt too badly. So we hide behind two-state solutions, and pullouts, and dialogue and bridge building..."

Culture

Chaim presents The Jailhouse Bar Mitzvah Scandal posted at Chaim Rubin, saying, "About Jailhouse Bar Mitzvah"

Leora Wenger presents Haveil Havalim and JPIX posted at Here in HP, saying, "Please advertise JPIX. So everybody, whatever JPIX is, go do it!

Lady-Light presents Noodle Google...er...Koogle posted at Tikkun Olam, saying, "Don't know if this falls under the category of culture or religion or humor or...tragedy."

HistoryLady-Light presents We Are Settlers: Plain and Simple posted at Tikkun Olam.

rutimizrachi presents It's not about the Holocaust, Mr. President. posted at Ki Yachol Nuchal!, saying, "Rabbi Cardozo gives a little history lesson to Mr. Obama."

e presents Internet is Evil at The Highway back to Krenitz.

Humor

Ben-Yehudah presents Who Is Rabbi Lemming? posted at Esser Agaroth.

Toby Curwin presents No, it doesn't really say that... posted at A Time of the Signs.

Israel

Joel Katz presents Religion and State in Israel - June 15, 2009 (Section 1) posted at Religion and State in Israel, saying, "Shalom, Religion and State in Israel is the only review of media coverage on issues of religion and state in Israel. Religion and State in Israel is not affiliated with any organization or movement."

Joel Katz presents Religion and State in Israel - June 15, 2009 (Section 2) posted at Religion and State in Israel.

Yisrael Medad presents West Bank Birthing posted at My Right Word.

Jacob Richman presents Good News from Israel: Pictures of the Ma'ale Adumim Anglo Forum posted at Good News from Israel.

Ariel Ben Yochanan presents IDF Is Not a Jewish Army posted at The Torah Revolution.

harry presents Adam Adama posted at Israelity.

harry presents The iPhone finally makes it to Israel posted at Israelity.

Yisrael Medad presents OU Goes Up to Temple Mount posted at My Right Word.

Harry presents Liev and Naomi’s Israeli vacation posted at Israelity.

Avraham Rephael (aka Bar Kochba) presents One Land for One People posted at For Zion's Sake.

Ben-Yehudah presents Beach Grievance posted at Esser Agaroth.

muse presents Why Can't Israel Be A "Normal" Country? posted at Shiloh Musings.

Mrs. S. presents Guest Post: Rak Smachot posted at Our Shiputzim: A Work In Progress, saying, "Thanks for all your efforts!"

LB presents Disengage posted at Occidental Israeli.

Robert J. Avrech presents Obama's Anti-Rational Losing Streak posted at Seraphic Secret.

Ben-Yehudah presents Speaking The Truth posted at Esser Agaroth.

Judaism

Devorah presents A soul's sole concern posted at Mashiach is coming.

Schvach Yid presents Schvach - פני דל posted at Schvach - פני דל.

Rabbi Leigh Ann Kopans presents Let's Talk About Hair posted at Ashi & Rami.

Schvach Yid presents Schvach - פני דל posted at Schvach - פני דל.

Cynthia Samuels presents Don't Gel Too Soon : Sunrise, Sunset: an Amazing Day of Jewish Rituals posted at Cynthia Samuels, saying, "This is an account of a single remarkable day of Jewish ritual - from bris to funeral to wedding to bar mitzvah, and what it means."

Eliyahu Fink presents What Is The Appropriate Reaction? posted at Pacific Jewish Center | Rabbi.

ProfK presents Conversations in Klal: Ordering Klal's Problems posted at Conversations in Klal.

Chabad.org presents New Blog: An Archivist Discovers the Rebbe posted at The Chabad.org Blog, saying, "Chabad.org launches a new blog exploring the Rebbe's life and teachings. Manuscripts, letters, firsthand experiences and more."

Barbara presents Silencing Dissent, Hushing Up Scandal posted at BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS.

History

Lion of Zion presents Was There a Hebrew Press Before Gutenberg?! posted at Lion of Zion.

Personal

Baila Brecher presents a powerful post, The executioner in my living room posted at Ill call Baila.

Home Shuling presents It doesn't take $95 posted at Home-shuling.

ALN presents Don't Have the Answers, But Glad You Asked posted at Nad-ned Nad-ned.

rickismom presents Spouses and Parents: Giving us Wings posted at Beneath the Wings.

Politics

APRPEH presents American Jews: Obama or Torah? posted at APRPEH, saying, "Will Obama finally be the tool to wrench American Jews from the Democrats? Also a review of Bibi's Bar-Ilan talk."

Josh Waxman presents Was Rachav an innkeeper or a harlot? posted at parshablog.

Lady-Light presents The Fool Who Beats His Head Against the Wall posted at Tikkun Olam, saying, "self-explanatory"

rutimizrachi presents Presidential Seal of Approval posted at Movin' On Up!, saying, "It is a little self-aggrandizing, because I also want to get my comment on her article out there; but I think this is a very good essay by Laura Ben-David."

Barbara presents U.N. to Sue Israel? posted at BARBARA'S TCHATZKAHS.

APRPEH presents Will The Jews Choose Obama Over Israel? posted at APRPEH, saying, "Based upon articles by Jeffrey Goldberg and Samuel Freedman, this post takes the opinion that Jews should not support Obama's efforts to stop Jews from living in Yehuda and Shomron."

Them Random Shtuff

Aaron Honung presents Why The Forward is Wrong on J-Org CEO Pay posted at TJC Newsdesk.

Something Different presents Basar V'dagim and WHICH Matamim? posted at A Blob of Something Different.

Mordechai Torczyner presents Who needs rabbinic leadership? posted at The Rebbetzin's Husband.

CA presents "Corpse in the living room; a girl’s best friend" posted at V = I·R "[the real modern Orthodox blog]"

Lion of Zion presents Tzitzit Wearer and the Most Beautiful Girl in the World (Idan Yaniv) posted at Lion of Zion.

Yossi presents Facebook Frustrations over at A Bochur in Lubavitch.

Cheerio presents I'm Back at Questing.

C Presents Talking about little kids making jokes... at Not Really THAT Frustrated....

Altie presents It's raining, it's pouring at BLoGGinG FrOM ThE HoLy LAnD.

Auntie Mims presents A letter to G-d at Dichotomy: A split by which a person experiences or sees opposing forces.

Sarabonne presents Jolly Green Giants at Musings.

C presents Ramblings of Procrastination at Not Really THAT Frustrated....

Cheerio presents Sarah Rifka at Hip in the Heights.

Mottel (Mazel tov!) presents Picture of the Week: Still Alive After the Wedding Edition at Letters of Thought.

Altie presents Blog Name at BLoGGinG FrOM ThE HoLy LAnD.

e presents This Is Your Religion, Part I: Healing Clothes at The Highway back to Krenitz.

The end.

Please send your posts for the next edition of the Haveil Havalim Blog Carnival via the Blog Carnival Submission Form. If you're interested in hosting or receiving more information about the carnival, please contact Jack at talktojacknow-at-sbcglobal-dot-net (and please, for the sake of our hosts, try not to submit more than 3 posts a week!)

I'll be hosting the Kosher Cooking Carnival next week, and I should have a little more time for it than this one... so send your shtuff in! Excellent.

Post Roundup

It's like a mini Haveil Havalim!

Frum Satire, who is claiming shadchanus gelt along with Nemo, gave us Frum Satire makes a shidduch. He also had a video of the event.

Next up we have a roundup of the whole event from Shriki at Blogger Engagement.

Real and Wright (burgundy shirt!) has a Bloggers' Convention.

C is feeling happy and sad with Mixed up with emotions.

Sara writes a bit at Days Gone By....

Chanie says WOW!

Shmais has some nice comments, as does Crownheights.info and COLlive.com.

If I've missed anyone, tell me, and y'all have a great Shavuos, and accept the Torah with joy and inner shtuff!

Haveil Havalim 213: It's been a long time

It's now 2:40 AM and I'm just now beginning to compose this week's Haveil Havalim. But wait! What is a Haveil Havalim? I never thought you'd ask. 

Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs -- a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It's hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term 'Haveil Havalim,' which means "Vanity of Vanities," is from Kohelet, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other 'excesses' and realized that it was nothing but 'hevel,' or in English, 'vanity.'

As everyone who's anyone knows, we're right now in the days of Sefirah, between Pesach, the festival of our liberation, and Shavuos, the festival of the giving of the Torah, otherwise known as Pentecost. These 49 days were originally quite joyous and whatnot, but then a bunch of Rabbi people had to go around disrespecting each other, and BOOM! G-d cuts them up something cruel, which resulted in the something cruel practice of acapella music. Actually, I spent a good twenty minutes trying to explain to someone tonight why the whole thing was bunk anyway, but she wouldn't listen, and in commemoration of that failed attempt I'll be classifying every post presented here with a song that I think would go well with it. Don't listen to these songs, of course, because that would be a mortal sin (according to her), but maybe on Lag B'omer you come back here to get the full list and give me some hits, you wonderful people you. 

All right, on with the show. I was thinking that the Rebbe was always particularly about opening with Dvar Malchus (Torah), so here we are. Paul Kipnes over at Or Am I? presents Redemption Comes Thru Singing, which would seem, to me at least, to fit in with Avraham Fried's Baruch Haboh from Shtar Hatnoim. 

Next up is a delightful entry from muse over at Shiloh Musings, Birkat HaChamah Videos none of which I watched, but which I'm sure are well worth watching. By the by, my friend Yossi had a nice little exposé of the whole thing with his Correction, which at the time brought me great joy. And oh yes, appropriate music for muse's would be Yaakov Shwekey's Shehechiyanu from Shomati, and Yossi's post would go very nicely with a dash of Ich Hob Gevart from MBD's album of the same name.

Continuing in the sun-worship (blessing, whatever) vein is Yisrael Medad's And The Sun Rose Over Shiloh, whose musical accompaniment would be Shlomo Carlebach's Hiney Lo Yanum (I have no idea from which album).

My own humble contribution to this group of Torah words, Almonds too, would go well with the Marcus Brother's Furt a Yiddeleh from the very first 8th Day album.

 One of the problems I have with frum Jews is that traveling with 'em is always a major Chillul Hashem (the title song of 8th Day Vol II: Brooklyn, or maybe even the title song of Lipa Schmeltzer's Lipa Baderech?); with that in mind, here's this week's Anti-Semitism.

We'll start off with a dose of LB who blogged Responding to ?New? Antisemitism which ends off with a call for mass emigration to the Zionist entity, which is good enough for me to recommend Ron Eliran and Amos Ettinger's Sharm el-Sheikh. 

Next up is muse's Will The U.S. Stop This Deal?. The deal referenced is one selling drones to Russia, and I just have to wonder, do we really want to sell military shtuff to Medevev and Putin? I mean, these are the same dudes who blasted the heck out of Georgia this past summer... hmm, come to think of it, wasn't Israel selling military goods to the Georgians also? Are they trying to replicate US policy in South America in the early fifties? On that note I'd have to recommend Moshe Kravitsky's Schizophrenic Soul.

And that concludes this week's peek at the jerks who hate us. Next up? Culture. Woohoo! I can tell your excited. First up is Lady-Light and Our Illustrious Guest. It would seem to me that this would be a good time to say that the best thing about gezheh is six feet under, but it does seem like the guest lived up to his illustrious heritage, so I won't. I'll just mention that Yosef Karduner's Sheimot Hatzadikim from Choice would seem to fit the bill here. 

Mark has Major League Baseball Opening Day Rosters, all about the amazing Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, and now, Jason Kubel...I'm just kidding. It's actually about Craig Breslow, our beloved Jewish Twin who has not started the season off to well, but at least he has that sefirah beard going for him. Speaking of Sefirah, how about some Sefirah music? Lipa Schmeltzer's Men Darf Bahalten from Leeilu Uleeilu, which seems to fit in nicely with the whole beginning theme Mark is working at over here. 

And that's it for culture. Good thing, because I was never big into culture. History though, that's more my line. Muse (my, she's been busy as a bee) wants us all to Remember The Titanic! Honestly folks, is anyone ever going to forget it? Just to make sure you don't, go listen to Benny Friedman's (btw, Mazel Tov!) Achas Shaalti. 

Ben-Yehudah has Jewish Naqba النكبة which is all about the Jews who were kicked out of Muslim lands with nary a penny of compensation. I'm not sure who sang it originally, I think Amudei Shaish, but MBD and Baruch Abittan did a fine job with Yizkereim at Hasc XV.

All good things must come to an end, but don't worry, there's (hu)more on the horizon! Sorry, I know that was bad. I couldn't resist that introduction for Humor. Get it? Great.

Muse (holy smokes, she must be working overtime!) has an Important Annoucement! for us all, and while your reading, listen to Chaim Israel's The Blue Sky from Garden of Life.

Shtetl Fabulous was getting a manicure and came up with Tatu Tattoo which would be nicely accompanied by ibid's Playing on Pain from ibid.

Toby Curwin has Duck Duct - Redux which features some snikcohg snleilpg, which could only be rectified with Piamenta's Slach Na from Big Time.

Elisson has a cute post ON RED SEA PEDESTRIANS which reminded me of Shlomo Simcha singing Shlomo Carlebach's Moshe v'Aharon on Hasc XV.

I had a cute little post Dear TRS: Reality sets in answering your questions, and because Kiddush Hachodesh is all about math, why don't you listen (on Lag B'omer, of course) to Lipa Schmeltzer's Kiddush Levana from Letova?

And foremost in our minds if last on the humor list is our mentor and sage JackB telling us all about The Best Clothing You'll Ever Own, which at first I kind of doubted, but now? I'm a believer. Speaking about belief, how about Miami Boy's Choir's Ani Maamin from It's Min Hashamayim (a cop-out, I know)?

Rahel starts off Israel by paying A Visit to the Light Rail Depot which is cool. I may be a staunch conservative, but I love trains. Is there a better song to listen to on a train than Abie Rotenberg's Ride the Train from the second Journeys? I think not.

Yisrael Medad wonders at those who aren't staunch conservatives in Jeremy, J Street Jew and Roger Cohen Keeps Getting Tougher which would go nicely with a little Arabic Medley from Sameach Music's Sephardic Dance Mix 1. And yes, I know they're Persians, not Arabs. 

LB complains about morons in the Israeli army and media with Religious Soldiers and the Establishment, which put me in mind of Avraham Fried's Aleh Katan.

Ben-Yehudah waters the mouth with Jealous?, though I'm not sure why anyone would have to toivel a brand new BBQ. Having problems with digestion? Listen to ibid's Adon Hashalom from Chazak for peace and calm.

Karen has some photos of The KOTEL on Pessach. Wish I was there. Jerusalem is Calling (Avraham Rosenblum, title track).

Eric tells all of us that Lieberman's Two State Solution might just work, but would it be the best solution? Is there a best solution at this point? Of course there is! It's MBD's Moshiach! (Or anyone's Moshiach, for that matter).

Harry says that Yoga puts religious Israelis in an uncomfortable position, and that TV’s The Office to open a Petach Tikva branch, and that Foto Friday - Yuval Nadel takes to the air. Those are all pretty self-explanatory, no? And I think Dudu Fisher's Lo Yarda Shechina from Odecha would sound good right around now. Work out the connection yourself, I can't think of one.

Joel Katz asks, "Hey, where can you get all the articles dealing with religion & state in Israel -- in ONE place, every week, including ultra-Orthodox, Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Secular points of view -- you name it... Religion and State in Israel is the only review of media coverage on issues of religion and state in Israel. Religion and State in Israel is not affiliated with any organization or movement." The answer is that it's all at Religion and State in Israel - April 13, 2009, which is simply begging for Oif Simchos' Tzarich Liyot B'yachad from Od Avinu Chai.

Oh, this is a surprise. It's Ben Yehudah with some Jewish Music! He asked, What's Different About This "Mah Nishtanah?" Go listen and find out. Convenient, no, that I didn't even have to come up with my own song for that one?

Now it's time for Judasim our oft-misunderstood religion. Lady-Light gives us another song with Ki Ata Kadosh. . ., straight from Adi Ran.

Mordechai Torczyner, the Rebbitzen's Husband (but aren't we all [females excepted]?) explains what I have always believed in A Tale of Two Loves: 3-day Yom Tov, and Shir haShirim (Song of Songs) which puts me in mind of Avraham Fried's Around the Year (title track).

Shvach Yid defends himself in Schvach - פני דל  and let me say that "Hey, I'm a Lubavitcher, and I read at least this post!" He also blogged about Schvach - פני דלa and even though it looks like it's the same post, it's really two posts. The London School of Jewish Song performed at one of the early Hasc concerts-that would seem to fit the bill here.

Home Shuling has The ultimate in home shuling which sounds like it's about Chabad Houses but is actually about Pesach. Ken Burgess provides the soundtrack with The Hero from I'll Never Walk Alone in the Desert.

Leora Wenger writes strictly for orthodox Jews (no peeking!) in Banging on the Bimah, which goes nicely with Country Yossi's Deaf Man in the Shteeble.

David Curwin gets all dikdukey on us with omer, all about the history of the word omer and the phrase sefirat haomer, which goes well with Vetaher from Lipa Schmeltzer's Letova.

Mordechai Torczyner, The Ugly Side of Kashrus Recommendations, which is very interesting (and disturbing), coupled with Gershon Veroba's Bugs, from Just One Shaitel, makes a new beginning for Kashrus,  and Baila ends it off with some delicious-looking Challah on Happy Day-after-Pesach! I hope there's no bugs involved in that! 

Now we're onto Personal, and Elisheva has a whole lot of personal shtuff going on at Update: Freedom and all that. How about some Bein Kach u'Bein Kach from Avraham Fried (title track)?

Yoav B made it on, no worries, with Passover in the IDF: The true meaning of Freedom, which touched even this cynical old blogger, as did Lipa Schmeltzer's Yoishvei Eretz Yisroel from A Poshite Yid.

GP talks about horses in Blessed by the Best « Manely Montana, and even though I don't like the beasts much myself, I do like Avraham Fried's Al Tirah from Bein Kach u'Bein Kach.

Politics it is to end the night, and Barbara begins it with Wah! Wah! Israel's Bullying Us!, which sounds like a cry for help, or at least The Sydenham Choir's L'Dor Vador, from Shabbat.

Shmuel Sokol will end it for us here folks, with Foreign Policy's "evenhandedness" unfair to Israel, and it seems like as good a time as any for Moshe Kravitsky's American Lies.

And that's all folks! Sheesh, it's been fun, and make sure to submit your next post with the carnival submission form, and check out all the old haveil's at the blog carnival index page. So long, and thanks for all the gefilte fish!

Haveil Havalim 207: A very TRS HH

Wowee folks, it's time for another wacky and wonderful HH! Every week I read that week's HH and think, "You know what? I could make this thing a lot more interesting." Is this assertion correct? If it is, is that a good thing? How the heck should I know? The important thing is that we're all in for a wild ride. You see, I figure that if I can't offer even a semi-intelligent (half-witted) comment on each and every post here then I've somehow failed miserably. Of course, when it's four in the morning and I'm still not done, then.... Anyway, first a word from our sponsors:

Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs — a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It’s hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term ‘Haveil Havalim,’ which means “Vanity of Vanities,” is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other ‘excesses’ and realized that it was nothing but ‘hevel,’ or in English, ‘vanity.’

And maybe a few ground rules. I'm sorry if I didn't post all five posts you sent in. I'm sorry if I offended you or reduced your post (which you no doubt spent many hours crafting like a fine wine) to a single quivering misrepresentational sentence. I'm sorry for ever starting blogging. All right then, on with the show:

Would a little Purim be in order? I certainly think so. le7 gives us a graphical reason to stay off the roads this holiday season in A word from our sponsors. If this doesn't sober you up then I don't know what will. If you're depressed about not having any benedictine this Purim (and I'd understand your concerns if you were), then maybe My Non-Alcoholic Purim from the Jewish Recovery Blog can help. Now now, don't get down, Rabbi Leigh Ann Kopans will show you the true Purim spirit with Mishenichnas Adar/When Adar Begins. Or else maybe you prefer my own take on the matter with Mishenichnas Adar marbeh headaches? Or even Mordechai Torczyner presenting Drinking on Purim - adults, children, and adults in the presence of children posted at The Rebbetzin's Husband? The choices are endless! Listen, personally, I'm only a kid (figuratively speaking) myself, what do I know, but still, you know, here in Lubavitchland, you know, we don't settle with, you know, taking naps. Or with skimping on commas. Or with the word "know". But hey, whatever floats your boat. Take diets for instance. I never intend to go near one. Nevertheless, there are people who do, and for them there's muse, who wrote, on me-ander that Purim's a tough holiday for dieters which I suppose is true. It's one of the reasons I'm not on a diet.

All righty then, moving right along, it's time for...Anti-Semitism! Seeing as we're right before Purim, it seems apropos to include a nice little Dvar Torah from yours truly that vaguely deals with the phenomenon (hey, it's my HH, I can do what I want) over at Drink that Kool-Aid. Friar Yid explains that the Society of St. Pius has issues beyond Bishop Williamson in Apologies to some, face smacks to others, while Karen commands us all to wear a blue star. And if you're looking for a hilarious dramatization of a Biblical Psychotherapist, then today is your lucky day. Just click on Zachor Ess Asher Assah Amalek -The Root of All Hatred where Yechezkel explains the causes of social hatred. Before reading this post I would have guessed bad breath, but now....
Is that it for antisemitism? Good, I've never particularly liked anti-semitism.

So how about we try something else? Something like Culture? I suppose Ralph Kaplowitz, Played in NBA's First Game, Dies, posted by Mark, would be a good start, though for the life of me I can't figure out what this has to do with culture. Maya with Lesson #8: Put Osem Soup Powder in EVERYTHING might be a better fit, though as she aptly says, this post might also work in Israel, humor, or Kashrut. Whatever. Anyway, welcome to the blogosphere, and don't become totally obsessed like me, or like RAW, who wrote Ode to Ties which happens to feature some shtuff about moi, so you know it must be good. Then we have Robert J. Avrech writing about 10,000 Violent Women and One Screenwriter, Final Chapter, which also completes our section on culture. Shocking, I know, only four posts on culture. What are we Jews, a bunch of hedonistic brutes?

Moving right along from the shocking images undoubtedly engendered by that graphic language (sorry mother!) we come up to Ari Kinsberg blogging about Women Scribes in Jewish History which is very interesting, because it's certain proof that labor can't be that bad, because why would a woman be scribing if she was having contractions if it was? (I just wrote that to get rocks thrown at my blog by women [breaking their computer screens in the process]-of course, maybe she got an epidural).

I know I said I would make things interesting, but this was too good to pass up:
Ben-Yehudah presents Jameel's Reality Television Show posted at The Muqata جميل في المقاطعة, saying, "This is what happens when bloggers have too much time on their hands. Read the comments."
I'm not sure why I thought that funny. But I did. Oh, did I forget to mention that it's time for HUMOR? Whoops. Anyway, we also have Toby Curwin showing us all why Israelis shouldn't be allowed near the English language with Clobbered. Then there's Yechezkel and what appears to be a Purim Torah with On Chachmas Nashim and Offshore Bank Accounts. Oh yeah, and Mazel Tov on your daughter. IY"H by the rest of us single people.
I was just beginning to think that I might run out of snarky things to write about (it is 2:30 AM after all), but then Paul Kipneswrote I friended G-d on Facebook! and I said, "Yes!" Now I can explain to all y'all people who were really inspired by my post here and wanted to friend me on facebook and couldn't. You know why? Because I'm not on facebook! Who woulda thunked? You know why I'm not on facebook? My answer used to be that lots of perverted things happen on facebook, and I didn't want to expose myself to that nisayon, but then I realized that lots of perverted things happen on blogger too, so my new excuse is that I just don't have the time. Which is true. I waste way too much time blogging as it is, and facebook would only increase the horror. Oh yeah, and Paul, do you know my close friend Eli Friedman who lives in Calabasas too? Just wondering.
You know, I'm getting the feeling that either a lot of people are going to love this HH or a lot are going to hate it. Hmm.
But enough negativity. SnoopyTheGoon sent in Just a cat in a bong or a recipe for world piece? which features an innovative method of animal cruelty. Benji Lovitt brings us back to facebook, if only briefly, with Back to Israel (and Ulpan) but don't worry, I won't go into my whole shpiel again.
Last but certainly not least is Hesh who tells us What frum lingerie shops look like, which is not something I was particularly interested in knowing. But now I know, thanks to Hesh, who I met tonight at a sold-out (the pizza, at any rate, was all eaten) performance at a breakaway from Beis Shmuel. Now I get to go on his 'Bloggers I have met' label! Woohoo!

And that seems to be it for humor. Now it's time to get serious again (ha!) with Israel. Joel Katz leads off with Religion and State in Israel - March 2, 2009 (Section 1), which he describes as: Articles include: Lieberman, religious parties optimistic 'Elyashiv digging in over civil unions' Religious women's groups ask Netanyahu to limit power of country's rabbinical courts Civil marriage for all IDF Intelligence and Navy Look to Hareidi-Religious After Haaretz probe, IDF limits rabbinate activities Rabbi Ovadia rules women may chant Scroll of Esther for men. I am not making this up. Joel Katz also gave us part two of that, which he described as Articles include: Fresh Rift Seen Over New Conversion Rules Rabbinic court slammed for nixing conversion of Emil Fackenheim's son Panel in charge of reviewing Law of Return 'too homogeneous' 14-year-old girl becomes Israel's youngest-ever divorcee Rabbinical judges have once again turned the Torah into a laughing stock Women worshippers stir row at Western Wall Fostering Jewish pluralism in Israel Should Christianity be taught in schools? Pope’s visit to Israel. Once again, I didn't make this up.
muse said something about laundry in Pass the clothes pins, and I think this might be an appropriate time to thank my sister for allowing me to use her washer and dryer gratis whenever I want. Of course, it would be sacrilege to mention my sister without mentioning her delicious daughters (my supercute nieces)so there you go. ALN exposes the PA as a bunch of scum (but you knew that already) who won't take care of their own people in Scales are Tipped Down, Way Down, by the PA, while Eric reveals that Charedim are a bunch of scum (is that a but harsh?) in New Metal Trash Can for Haredi Neighborhoods. Yeah, that probably was a bit mean, coming from the guy who fought his Birthright leader over the rights of charedim to throw rocks at cars on Shabbos. muse gave us a guest post at Shiloh Musings entitled Incomplete. You want to know what the post is talking about? Go read it yourself. It's 3:30 AM now and I'm entitled to be lazy. Soccer Dad tells us prisoner releases are bad in Another reason why prisoner releases are bad, which you probably guessed from the title. I mean, you probably guessed what the post was about from the title. Which is what I did. As you probably guessed.

Judaism! (Our mutually cherished and sometimes overburdened religion)

Shvach Yid presented Gallows Humor from Mr. Mark, and I'm sorry, I totally didn't get that. I did get Chabad.org learning us to control our instincts, which is something we could all use a bit of. At least, I could. You know what? Chabad.org sent me seven or eight blog posts to put up this week. Now listen, I'm a good Lubavitcher and all, and I even blogged for them the last couple of summers, but there is no way in heck I'm putting up that many posts. Sorry folks. Man, now I feel guilty. You non-Lubavs out there think Jewish guilt is bad? It's nothing compared to Lubavitch Guilt. So go read Wants to Be Religious and Wife Doesn't and donate a lot of money to them or something and then I won't feel so bad anymore. A Simple Jew tells us What's NOT Going To Work Is.... Obadiah Shoher reveals that Satmar, Neturei Karta, other anti-Zionist ultra-Orthodox Jews have many valid points
which might get him stoned instead of me.

And now it's time to get all touchy-feely with Personal! Are you excited? Because I can, we'll commence with a little nostalgia from TRS, Turns it does, and then quickly move to Diary of a Rabbi Blogger, by Paul Kipnes which is something I'll hopefully be able to say in a few months (once I finish up smicha). e embellishes his very own quitting story in A (slightly) dramatized version of how I joined the ranks of the unemployed , and Ben Yehudah tells us that he was Banned from the JTF Forum! Horrors!

Luckily for you, we got some Politics. Excited, aren't we?

muse leads off with More Democracy in Action and SnoopyTheGoon ends off with Iran, the Jews and Roger Cohen . My, that was quick.

You know what is the best schora? Torah!

Yehuda Berlinger over at racheladelman.com/ (is there something I'm missing here?) gives us The Dance around the Center the Sanctuary Can Hold which looked really interesting, but now it's 3:48 PM, and there's a reason I did Chitas and Rambam this afternoon.

Do you know what time it is? It's people who couldn't think of a good label for their post time!

rickismom (who I assume is Ricki's Mom) tells us about someone who I assume is Ricki in my-son-soldier-trainee. Yisrael Medad explains to our former first lady and current chief socialist at the state department that The Children, Hillary, It's For The Children, and then a letter from him printed in the New York Slimes. Yitzchak Goodman should probably have labeled this under Israel, but he didn't, and I'm not going back and changing my masterpiece now, so PressTV (Iran): "Zion elders wanted Muslims 'under thumb'"---that's a real headline will have to stay right were it is.

And does that do it for this issue of HH? No sirree! In fact, this is the most important part of the whole thing. It's time to present TRS' friends! Sure, kol yisroel chaverim and all that, but these people are good people, and they deserve your hits. So give it to them people.

We'll start off with Yossi, a shliach at my beloved YOEC, who wrote M'Talmidy Yoser MeKulam, which was a bit disturbing, to tell you the truth. Crawling Axe had a video of the greatest human being of all time and space (all right, I exaggerate in a miniscule manner), and Sebastion (aka j [hey it rhymes!]) told us about his week. Chetta mentioned the incomparable Rabbi Manis Friedman (if only his kids would pick up their phones) in fascinating, and Sarabonne reminded me why I say the brocha "shelo asani isha" once a day with Because I said I would.... and Tangents on Heels. So maybe I should say it twice a day? Cheerio Welton told us that Neil Gaiman is a Friggin' Genius. It's a pity that I've never even heard of Neil Gaiman. Her brother (Cheerio's, that is) is rather talented, as he reveals with his comic representation of the Haftorah of Parshas Tetzaveh. Short plug for me here: I was at a Chabad House for Shabbos and the Shliach called me over right before Maftir and said, "Hey TRS, want to do Maftir?" I replied that I had nothing better to do, so not only did I fulfill the biblical command of Parshas Zachor in the best possible manner, but I also got to do the Haftora off the cuff. And I think I did a darned good job. Thank you.
All right, enough self-congratulation. Oh, all right, just a tiny bit more. Here's a post from Mottel which features several pictures of me, An Amazing Wedding for an Amazing Yankel - Photo Essay. Here's my report of that very wedding. JEMnation wrote about Birkas Hachama - What’s up with it?, and RAW gave us The Usual Chassidish which in my opinion isn't usual at all, and in concluding this nice run-on sentence Elishevers opens up our minds with Chemistry Is Art. Once again, I didn't get it, which I suppose means I must be a philistine.

And acharon acharon chaviv, Basement Blogging: The Crown Heights Underground is the site of some unusual writing experimentation, with a continuation of the inspirational writing exercise (scroll down for the latest), and my very own continuing story, the latest chapter of which is Kings cry too.

And thus we conclude this week's edition of Haveil Havalim. Holy smokes folks, that took me six hours. I kid you not. But it was worth every second. Submit your article or post or whatever it is you have to the next edition of HH, and you should know that past posts and future hosts (and vice-versa) can be found at the blog carnival index page. Well, it's been a pleasure, and if anyone actually read this far then I am quite impressed. Have a spiritually uplifting Purim and don't drive drunk!

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