"The time has come,"
the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
(here)
The time has come...
Dee & Dum: ...the Walrus said...
Walrus: ...to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. Callooh, callay, no work today! We're cabbages and kings! ...At some point in the not-so distant past Nemo said that he missed the good 'ol days, when serious discussion took place on this here blog. As I was perusing an old post I noticed that he (check out that beard!) indeed had a point- the conversation on this blog was at one point on a higher intellectual level. What happened? Ich vais nisht. Maybe it was the girls. After all, the first one wasn't even outed until I was with Yossi in CT. Speaking of that, I'm sure we're all very excited that Sebastion and Penelope can finally live ever after happily. Meanwhile, it was just about two short years ago that e, Tanyachaz, and I were planning our trip to Israel. Good times, eh? So much has changed since then, and yet so much has remained the same.
Anyway, way back when, I wrote a post that didn't quite turn out the way it should have. As Nemo commented at the time, "Sorry, was a little hard to follow and there were a number of disconnects in the explanation." Here's a (slightly edited) version.
Yesterday (May 28, 2008) I came across an interesting item in the Sefer Taamei Minhagim Umkorei Hadinim by Rabbi Moshe Sperling. He brings down the Rokeach who states that the consumption of dairy products was, until the giving of the Torah, forbidden, and so when the the Torah was given the Jews celebrated by eating cheesecake.
Why was dairy forbidden in the first place? Because it's Aiver Min Hachai, i.e. a limb from a living animal. I thought, "Hey, that's a really cool answer!" and determined to track down the source, which turned out to be the Gemara in Bechoros, which thanks to Artscroll I didn't have to break my head over. A lot of what I'm going to write now is based on their translation and commentary; as far as I can recall there's no prohibition involved, but if there is....
The Gemara on 6B (2, for those keeping score with their Artscrolls) states that we would have thought that a person can use milk from a non-Kosher animal, because we're allowed to use milk from a Kosher animal. The Gemara brings two reasons for this: The first is that milk is made from blood, which is normally prohibited. When Hashem permitted blood, we would think that he permitted milk (transformed blood) from all creatures. Therefore the Torah has to specifically lay down the law. There is a problem with this answer according to one opinion (look it up), so the Gemara brings the additional rationale that since Hashem permitted us to use a "limb" (milk) from a living Kosher animal, we would think he permitted us to use a "limb" (milk) from any living animal. This is why the Torah has to specify that dairy from a non-Kosher source is prohibited.
Milk being a "limb" is pretty hard to understand, because it seems to be a separate entity; therefore many Acharonim say that the Gemara holds there should be a problem with dairy because it's from an animal that hasn't been shechted properly.
I don't understand why this would answer the question. According to the simple way of learning the Gemara, the problem is that the milk is a "limb", and eating dairy from a live animal would seem to be forbidden. According to the way the Acharonim explain it, the problem is that you're eating something which wasn't shechted properly. It's a problem to eat something which wasn't shechted properly because it's (the milk) considered to be...what? If shechting solves the problem, why is this called Aiver Min Hachai by the Gemara? It's entirely a problem of schechita. The Gemara seems to be saying that the reason we're allowed to eat dairy is because the prohibition of Aiver Min Hachai was relaxed by Hashem in the case of Kosher milk.
The Gemara implies that before Matan Torah dairy from a dead animal was permitted. According to the Acharonim, would that mean that before Matan Torah only dairy from a properly shechted animal was permitted? In general, are non-Jews nowadays allowed to have milk? It would seem that they can only have milk from a dead animal; after all, we got the Torah which allows to have dairy from a live cow, but non-Jews didn't get the Torah. According to the Acharonim, this wouldn't seem to be a problem, because non-Jews are only commanded to not eat a limb from a living animal; they have nothing to do with shechita.
Before the giving of the Torah, what was the issue according to the Acharonim? They say that the issue is shechita. Before Matan Torah, no one kept shechita anyway, because there were no Jews to shecht. In general, with regards to meat, I assume that they ate meat that post-Matan Torah is not permitted. So before Matan Torah, the Acharonim would allow a non-Jew to have dairy from any dead animal, while a Jew could only have from a Kosher animal (remember, they kept all the laws of the Torah before Matan Torah). After Matan Torah, without the Torah's special dispensation, a Jew is only allowed dairy from a properly slaughtered animal. A non-Jew can have dairy from any dead animal, since they don't have a problem with eating non-properly slaughtered animals. With the Torah's dispensation, a Jew can have dairy from a live Kosher animal, though it has not been shechted.
I don't understand how allowing dairy from an animal which has not been properly slaughtered is the same as allowing dairy from a living animal. It seems that the Acharonim are merely allowing us to have dairy from a properly shechted animal.
The simple explanation of the Gemara makes a lot more sense (in my humble [and probably deficient] opinion. Before Matan Torah, all milk from dead animals was permitted; after the giving of the Torah, milk from a live Kosher animal was permitted.
Non-Jews still seem to have a problem, because the Torah did not permit them to have milk from a live animal, whether Kosher or non-Kosher, but this is not my problem.
Anyway, the Gemara asks a simple question: How do we know that the Torah allowed us to have milk from a Kosher animal? It brings several proofs, quickly knocks them away, and ends with three Pesukim from which to learn the dispensation. The first is in 1 Samuel, 17:18, where David was given cheese from his father Yishai for his brothers on the battlefield. This verse only seems to prove that dairy is permitted, but it's not Hashem coming down with fire and brimstone and saying, "Thou mayest eateth the milk of thine beasts!" The next Passuk is from Shemos 3:17, "A land flowing with milk and honey." Would Hashem praise the land with forbidden items? This verse seems to be more in the vein of a command, but it's still not the same. The third Passuk is from Isiah 55:1, where he tells people to go buy and eat milk, implying that it's fine.
As noted by e, tonight there was a poetry slam in good 'ol Crown Heights. I read two pieces- the first was originally published on this here blog 167 days ago, called "Traumatize this!", and the second will be originally published on this here blog right now. Here goes:
A poetry slam.
No Mushkie, you can't slam people's poetry.
What does slam mean then? Um, you slam?
What do you slam? Don't ask questions like that. Judaism doesn't appreciate questions like that.
So why doesn't slam mean telling people off?
People don't appreciate criticism.
Even if you say it's constructive. It hurts their feelings.
No, you can't boo; it's not right. People don't like that.
So what do you do by a poetry slam?
You listen? You listen to poetry? Who wants to listen to poetry? I would only come to talk. To recite. To recite poetry.
So what if it's pretentious? Or obnoxious? Is the point of a poetry slam really to listen to others? To understand them? To try and figure out what drives them? What makes them tick?
Yeah, like, whatever. Absolutely ridiculous. I'm supposed to listen to others? As I said, I'd rather just talk.
Because really, when you think about it, we're all just cogs in the wheel of a vast thingamajiggie. Or something like that.
OK, was that good? Did I slam correctly? Anyone's feelings hurt? No? Good?
Excellent.
A poem. By me. For you. Yup:
There's no money after twelve
and there's no countenancing things either
like why is it that after you become engaged
you're suddenly the expert on relationships
marriage
dating
all that jazz?
and another thing
why is it
that no one appreciates the good oldies
though they say they do
and they'd rather read
the new and ugly?
because really
there's much better shtuff out there
but no
they want new
innovative
garbage
even though
as I say
they say
they'd rather stick with the classics
but it's not true
who knows?
beats me claude
What is it to die?
What is it to be Italian?
Do they have decent pizza in the next world?
Do they have decent pizza in Italy?
Can Jews get sausage on their pizza in the next world?
Can Jews get sausage on their pizza in Italy?
Do the Jewish pizza parlors in the mountains in the next world close early on Saturday nights?
Do the Jewish pizza parlors in the mountains in Italy close early on Saturday nights?
Does death hurt?
Does being Italian hurt?
Are there angels and demons in the next world?
Are there angels and demons in Italy?
Do the angels and demons ride Vespas in the next world?
Do the angels and demons ride Vespas in Italy?
Do the angels and demons eat pizza on their Vespas in the next world?
Do the angels and demons eat pizza on their Vespas in Italy?
Does pizza taste better when it's eaten while riding on a Vespa in the next world?
Does pizza taste better when it's eaten while riding on a Vespa in Italy?
Do you get more pizza if you rant well in the next world?
Do you get more pizza if you rant well in Italy?
Do the angels and demons in the next world look kindly upon those who rant in order to increase their pizza?
Do the angels and demons in Italy look kindly upon those who rant in order to increase their pizza?
Do the mafia coordinate with the angels and demons in the next world?
Do the mafia coordinate with the angels and demons in Italy?
Does Silvio Berlusconi have a place in the next world?
Does Silvio Berlusconi have a place in Italy?
Is Garibaldi beloved in the next world?
Is Garibaldi beloved in Italy?
Does Garibaldi enjoy eating pizza on a Vespa while ranting after death?
Does Garibaldi enjoy eating pizza on a Vespa while ranting in Italy?
Does the moon hit your eye like a big pizza pie in the next world?
Does the moon hit your eye like a big pizza pie in Italy?
Is the next world at all comparable to Italy?
Is Italy at all comparable to the next world?
(and so on and so forth)
So there you are
at the farbrengen
patronizingly helping that bochur out
or making him think you're helping him out
or even convincing yourself you've helped him out
but have you helped him out?
who knows?
who cares?
oh look, they brought out soda-pass it here white boy!
----
You know
if you somehow corralled all the cows in the world
into a pen
not too big
just right for them
they'd still
have emotional issues
-----
beer is not
a solution to life's problems
but sometimes
it's a good substitute
-----
Tuesdays have been better
but I wouldn't bet
on them being much better
-----
So there you are
walking down the road
waiting to ask
and again waiting to ask
and at the end of the night
you didn't ask
and you feel like a total dork
and you come home and listen to Lipa
and you feel less dumb
and then you feel even worse
because you know you're an idiot
but what can you do about it
and what's with the narcissism?
tomorrow is a brand new day
sure, that's what they say
but is it really true?
the experiences of yesterday
the choices we made
the paths we traveled
those are what guide us tomorrow
nay, they force us
but
whether you give in or fight back
there's no real point in arguing the matter
because at the end of the day
that has passed
or still is to pass
you know
things are good
because we've got a big G-d up there
even if you don't like him
which is neither here
nor there
because right now
tomorrow still hasn't arrived
and you know
it better work tomorrow
on a knee
sunflowers
or a bowl of tuna and noodles
whatever it is
that's what it will be
or what it was
complicated
but then again
tomorrow is a brand new day
On the first night of Chanuka, my true love said to me, let's cook some Chinese food, and make a party.
On the second night of Chanuka, my master and overlord said to me, let's walk out in the freezing rain pushing a double baby carriage, to make a party.
On the third night of Chanuka, my dripping partner said to me, let's avoid the spilled milk all over the store and just buy our groceries.
On the fourth night of Chanuka, my sopping wet sister said to me, why don't you babysit while I go to a wedding, shouldn't be more than, hours three.
On the fifth night of Chanuka, my niece woke up in bed, we played for a while, and she broke out in a smile, but then for the last hour she called out I WANT MOMMY!
On the sixth night of Chanuka, my brother in law said to me, do me a favor, buy something on Kingston, take your niece for a ride, and Daven Mincha, at 770.
On the seventh night of Chanuka, everyone looked at me strange, why are you pushing a baby carriage, I answered-why is every store packed as if a Rebbishe marriage, why is 770 filled with screaming children, including my niece.
On the eighth night of Chanuka, the ride didn't quite work, the music played but the taxi didn't move, very disappointing, the stores were too full, the niece too desirous of mama, and I finally home.
On the ninth night of Chanuka, my menora said to me, you buy the fourteen dollar twist-off you get what you pay for, at least it works, be thankful for that, and yes you have to starve 'till the guests come.
On the tenth night of Chanuka, all the guests finally came, and what do you expect, three couples with kids, all they talk about, is....kids.
On the eleventh night of Chanuka, at least the food was unsurpassed, excellent Chinese, a doughnut for desert, fall asleep on the couch afterwards, and then slip on the ice on the stairs by Shul.
On the twelth night of Chanuka, my true love said to me, life's actually pretty good, the menora is lit, there'll be latkes tomorrow night, doughnuts for breakfast, if I ever go to sleep.
T'was the night before Sukkos, not a creature was stirring,
except for this annoying midge on my screen, that I'm too kind to kill
the sukkah was built,
the schach set upon it,
the lulav and esrog waiting to be picked up four minutes before Yom Tov.
T'was the night before Sukkos, the clouds gathering above
thunderstorms predicted for tomorrow,
that's why the sukkah was put up today.
Of course, I have to help build some other sukkahs tomorrow
so I'll still get wet (probably).
Twas the night before Sukkos, and I'm blogging away
trying to think of words to rhyme,
and sound epithets to carry the day.
No one will mind then,
if I close up shop now,
return to prose,
that greatest cash cow
(what?)
In other news, I'm happy to clear up the possible confusion that resulted from last night's post. The fact of the matter is, a well respected member of my Shul made a scarily accurate prediction on Shabbos, and he desires this fact to be known in the wider community. He would also like to inform my general readership that the Kiddush this past Shabbos was indeed shoddily planned and haphazardly executed. The truth, in this case, was as terrible to behold as the food was to eat.
And now I suppose I have to leave you all with some final words before the '69 edition of the Feast of Tabernacles commences. As Rabbi Gershon Grossbaum said on Shabbos, "Don't arrange some guys who Farbreng until 2 every night, wake up at 12, Daven until 3, go on Mivtzoyim at 4:30, and are done by 5."
Life is a weird little thing. Sometimes it's so weird that you can't even write about it. I had a lot of ideas for tonight, but unfortunately I can't write about most of them. So instead I was going to give y'all some pretty bad poetry. Then accusations started to fly, and I banged out a whole reply in thirty seconds. Sure, it was brilliant, but I did miss some important information. For example, it was in fact SZB who was wrongly maligned. And in fact, it was Cheerio who twisted the facts beyond all recognition. But don't take my word, go read the transcript. So yes, it's time to acknowledge that we are all in fact deeply interested in Nemo's every move, and we have no idea what e's hair color is (well, I do, but that's not important). Of course, no one was referring to e, but he seems to like the attention, and who am I to stop him?
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, here's some of the regularly scheduled programming...
Oh well, I suppose that such is the way the angel food cake with seven minute frosting does or does not crumble. Meanwhile, in other news, I started on the real meat today in Chullin. Yes, it's time for the endless polemics about drops of milk spilling on meat, and other good shtuff like that.
I don't want to bore you with this now, since I'll probably be boring you with it later in the year, so how about a little fun and games? That's right folks, it's time for poetry!
Here I stand
More accurately sit
surveying my computer screen
my fingers type
my teeth bite
a delicious beef spleen
still, if it's not too much to ask
I'd much rather have
a container of Boston baked beans
You liked that? Maybe I should try something sentimental this time? Of course, anything to do with food is sentimental. So we'll go for soppy then.
Sop
Sop
The drink
does sop
Quite unfortunate
don't you know
Sop
Sop
A nice Chablis would be better
Today is Memorial Day, a day when Americans of all stripes, colors, and shades of pink take a little time to recognize the men and women who have given their lives to ensure that we remain the greatest country in the world. Did they give their lives to ensure that we remain the greatest country in the world? I don't know what their motivation was. They were probably like the rest of us, just trying to stay alive. And they they died. What were they fighting for? Their parents, siblings, wives, husbands, dogs, cats, maybe even their country. I don't know. Anyway, I do say, "Thank you", because without these brave guys and gals I highly doubt I'd have the freedom to sit here and question their motives.
Speaking of Memorial Day, I'd just like to respond to the pro-Rubashkin hamburger comment from Nemo. Yes, they can save lives, but as I have often experienced, they can be quite dangerous. Lesson? They should only be eaten in the direst of circumstances. Aaron's ground beef can be, and is often, made into quite delicious burgers, but that's another issue altogether.
Many moons ago I used to dabble in poetry. One particular piece of verse I recall dealt with cows. Today I feel like returning to this once-favored joy, and so I'll write some here for you to peruse and (probably) criticize.
The Moon's bright verve
brought effervescent by the cooling town
is struck low with a calming wave
with a large blast at the bound
Yeah, that was a pretty pathetic effort, huh? How about this?
No more the dumb
Far gone the the lost
the cracker's eaten
the voice's cost
Oh man, this is getting kind of pathetic. We'll try one more...
And thus the end
the crying last
these poems have been depressing
and rather pointless
The good news is that it's looking like I'll be going on Merkos Shlichus again this year. Will I be getting a blog on Roving Rabbis? Only time will tell. But if not, don't worry, they don't call me TRS for nothing.
Hershel Tzig recently wrote that he too has writer's block. Poor guy. I sympathize. In fact, I was planning on writing some poetry today, and I sincerely hope that you enjoy it. Here goes:
Lipa was singing
A song that was beautiful
but also happened to be goyish
the rabbonim banned him
the gedolim slammed him
and now he's learning orange
The Lipa story was
quite boring
we moved on
We started moving along
the democrats joined us
strange times, eh?
So we got onto Chassidus
according to Matisyahu it's really deep
so deep he fell in and can't get out
Speaking of Matisyahu
writing, actually,
it's nice to hear he's still alive
No, really,
even though he dumped Lubavitch
for some screamers and potheads
i hope he finds his true calling
What, frying squirrels is not
a true calling?
How 'bout boilin 'em
Obviously that's not Kosher
but then again, neither is
kolko, which didn't stop lipa
the other one
Of course... Would a TRS production
be complete without some words on ellipsis?
How does one make those plural?
Grammarians are a lot of fun
especially when they are done
after work they do party
and sometimes even flit from tree to tree
(weirdos)
The time has come
to end this soon
as soon as my internet works again
but until then
'till the soon is as soon as soon should be
you'll have to put up with some more
poetry
If you would glorify it with that label
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