Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Devarim Shonim

Happy Yom Kippur Katan everybody! Today I had three or four half-baked ideas about what I wanted to blog about, and then I came up with this great idea; blog about Yom Kippur Katan. I did a quick search of the internet, and lo and behold, there's already a ton of sites that'll tell you all you want to know about it. So maybe I should just blog about various random-style tidbits?
A. For example, why is it that after you finish doing laundry there's always one sock that is still wet? It doesn't make any sense! Everything else is already beginning to burn, but this one sock has to decide to remain damp. And it's not like you can just put it back in the dryer, because who turns on a dryer for just one sock?
B. Why do we fast on the day before Yom Kippur? Because the moon is small. What does this mean? There's a story that in the beginning, the sun and the moon both shone, but the moon complained that two kings can't share one crown, so Hashem told the moon to go and lose its light. Asks the sefer "Chiddushei Shnei Hameoros", what does it mean that the moon should "go"? And how does the moon make itself smaller? He explains that in the beginning, the moon really didn't have any light of its own; rather, the moon shared a window (whatever that means) with the sun, which shone for both of them and made the moon think that it was shining. The moon complained, so Hashem told it to get out and find its own window, and automatically the moon became smaller.
C. Erev Rosh Chodesh is known as "Yom Kippur Katan" because it atoned for all a person's sins of the past month. Artscroll thinks you should all be fasting. Merely out of a deep sense of loathing for everything they stand for, I'd advise you to eat several slices of pizza today. Yes, I use four five Artscroll publications every day, but does that mean I shouldn't spit in the well which quenched my thirst? I think not.
D. Barack Obama is giving a major speech tonight in S. Paul's Xcel Energy Center. I'm trying to find a way to go. Why would I want to go? Mivtzoyim of course! But seriously folks, I think it would be cool to go hear the future President of America.
E. Is it really possible to always divide humanity into two parts? No matter which criterion is used, is it always haves and have-nots, hungry and satiated, exhumed and still-buried, hunter and hunted, bored and not yet bored, etc. ad infinitum? You get what I'm saying? That I have nothing more to write? Yeah, I figured.


Leo de Toot said...

Dear Mr. R.S.
Regarding the moon - modern scientific theory notes that in fact the moon has no light of its own but rather merely reflects that of the sun. The changes in the moon are due to its different positions in relation to the sun. Hope this helps.

Also, whether Barak "yo mama" Obama is the next president remains to be seen - I prefer voting for a certified American hero with real experience and a sense of where the U.S. and Israel should be in the world.

And finally, there are two kinds of people - those who divide humanity into two groups and those who don't.

As always, a true patriot, indivisibly yours, L de Toot.

Just like a guy said...

Who'll be more entertaining, an old white man or a young black man?

Nemo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nemo said...

Why is it that when you pay $15 to drop your laundry off at your neighborhood laundromat, and you happen to have put your heavy ski apparel, not only does your laundromat not bother to dry the heavy load because of your insolence putting ski-gear into the wash, but they fold it up as they would any other clothing, put it in a garbage bag and tie it up so that when you pick it up a week later everything in it, including the stuff that happened to have gotten dry, is now moldy and unwearable, needing another cleaning (but thankfully not another $15)and it's too bad for you because both pairs of your ski gloves are in the bag and by the time you realize it, you're packing out the door early Sunday morning on the way to Vermont and you'll need to buy a brand new pair, easily costing over $60 on the off chance they can be found on clearance(but what's $60 with the price of lift tickets these days?) to avoid frost bite, hypothermia and a bad day in the snow? (Talk about a run-on sentence!)

All this trouble would have been saved if they put another few quarters in the drier, which is getting paid right back to them anyway.

e said...

There are three types of people: those who can count and those who cannot.

On a serious note, the Rebbe would probably find three categories (see www.chabad.org/608781).