Thursday, April 1, 2010

Vos vet zein

What will be when moshiach comes with minyanim? I mean, what's going to be in the third temple? For some very strange reason, I feel like I've blogger about this very topic before, but I can't seem to find the relevant post. Regardless, it's an interesting topic. The Korban Tamid Shel Shachar was of course offered early in the morning, and I don't see why that should change when the messiah shows up. Apparently then those who daven vasikin will be praying alongside the morning sacrifice, which I suppose might be seen as a good thing. They'll have to pack out for their daf yomi shiur once they're finished, which will be perfect, because it'll give the chassidim a chance to roll in for chassidus and mezonos faren davenen. I'm not sure whether they'll actually serve mezonos in the temple itself, or if someone will have to open a concession stand right outside the walls. I'm thinking a Dunkin Donuts, but Gombos will do in a pinch. The chagas chassidim will show up about the time the Lubavitchers are starting shacharis, but of course they'll have to go to the mikveh and shvitz first, so we'll have to arrange a later time slot for them. On days when there's a mussaf offering things might get a little crowded, what with the chareidim staying late and all, but hopefully the yekkes will be running the show, elsewise the Mussaf will drag on forever and things will really start to fill up. The ketores will always be a popular event, with all the Carlebachians trying to get a sniff, though of course they'll probably be disappointed when they learn that marijuana is not actually an ingredient therein. No one quite knows what will happen with the tzfatim, but you can be sure they'll make themselves heard.

Mincha will of course be a bit complicated, with major fights erupting over when it should be brought, and some people trying to extend it as late as possible. Maariv will be simple as pie- just keep the flame burning bright, and we should all be fine. Those wanting to do tikkun chatzos might be disturbed by the late night farbrengens, but at least there's that whole water system to clean up in the morning. And the best news is, SMR will be directing the slaughtering, and he won't even have to worry about under-age kohanim either!

51 comments:

sarabonne said...

I'm trying to come up with various names that SMR might stand for. One is Rubashkin, then there's Some Massive Rabbi, Susie Mary Peggy, SatMaR and then some...
Care to extrapolate?

sarabonne said...

I wrote a whole lovely comment on the personas that SMR might mean. But it was lost in the great and mysterious bogosphere.
So would you mind extrapolating? I'm thinking Rubashkin might be one...

sarabonne said...

Oh, it wasn't lost afterall. Cheers, more comments for you.

The Real Shliach said...

I'm not sure that you want me to extrapolate. Perhaps you'd like me to expound?

Nemo said...

Moshiach will be like a Japanese onsen.

The Real Shliach said...

How so?

sarabonne said...

Expound away.

The Real Shliach said...

Well yes, if you must know, I was referring to our former local butcher.

e said...

Don't you think moshiach will mete out justice to that criminal?

The Real Shliach said...

Did he commit any punishable offenses in the eyes of the Moshiach?

Dovid said...

:)

The Real Shliach said...

What's that supposed to mean?

Dovid said...

It means your post made me smile. I like the picture it conjures up.

The Real Shliach said...

Oh,, well anything that makes you smile is a good thing.

A Yid said...

By hashgacha pratis, I stumbled across your blog tonight and am glad for that!

I really laughed out loud here:

"though of course they'll probably be disappointed when they learn that marijuana is not actually an ingredient therein. No one quite knows what will happen with the tzfatim, but you can be sure they'll make themselves heard. "

Kidding aside, I too wonder how things are gonna unfold during the geulah. May we find out soon enough!

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

A: There won't be any tikkun chatzos anymore.

B: The tzfatim will be on har tziyon singing yechi where it belongs.

C: As we all know, only MO zionists will be zoche to run the temple service. Therefore, no accomodations will be made for those who daven shacharis bein hashmoshos.

D: How much do you want to bet some chareidi cohanim will want to wear their hats instead of bigdei kehuna?

The Real Shliach said...

A Yid: Glad you enjoyed it.

Modeh: A. I bet you there will be plenty of snags who miss the good 'ol days and will still sneak it in every once in a while.

B. Maybe.

C. You mean, Vasikin?

D. And will they color their clothes black?

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

A: unfortunately way to true. A chareidi is someone who believes in Torah misinai as long as it does not contradict his culture.

C:No, I mean b/t shkia and tzeis. Though my rav's Rosh Yeshiva mentioned that vasikin as practiced today is of dubious halachic status.

D:Hope not. Too many chassidishe toros about the white bigdei kehuna.

The Real Shliach said...

Nu, what's wrong with vasikin?

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

You aren't yotze krias shma according to the gra.

The Real Shliach said...

Ahh.

CoolGal said...

Hey dude, post something new already. I am getting bored of seeing the same posts over and over again when I go to your blog. Not trying to be mean. I promise. I am very nice

CoolGal said...

When are you going back home? or Did you already? When I say home, I mean Crown Heights where you and your wife live.

The Real Shliach said...

Eventually.

CoolGal said...

Eventually what? Eventually you will write a new post?

The Real Shliach said...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2653121509948454913#

CoolGal said...

TRS: What is this link that you posted for? Is it just because you are bored maybe? Just asking/wondering.

The Real Shliach said...

If you watch it you'll get it.

CoolGal said...

Fine, just to make you happy I will watch it but not now because I am busy. Soon. Hopefully I will get it or you will have to explain it to me

The Real Shliach said...

Okie dokie smokie.

CoolGal said...

TRS: I watched the video. It is very funny. I still don't get what it has to do with anything. Care to explain?

The Real Shliach said...

http://books.google.com/books?id=hl8H4Qho2tcC&pg=PA172&lpg=PA172&dq=fawlty+towers+manuel+%22forget+it+now%22&source=bl&ots=7F2QAHWFNW&sig=mllrrBYz2IYuM9l1QUne3_hHtcE&hl=en&ei=yie_S4DfBcKC8gbKjennCA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CAgQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false

CoolGal said...

TRS: Dude, I don't get what is with all these links. If you decide to tell me I will be very grateful. Thanks. Bye.

The Real Shliach said...

"Eventually".

CoolGal said...

TRS: Eventually what? Quit playing games. Just tell me or don't tell me. This is the last time I will ask/comment. You have seen the last of me

The Real Shliach said...

One of the main gags in the this episode (which you claimed to watch and enjoy) is Manuel saying "Eventually", and Basil saying, "Forget it now!". Later, when Basil wants Manuel to remember, Manuel says, "I know nothing".

CoolGal said...

Oh I get it now. Thanks for clarifying. By the way in my last comment where I said you have seen the last of me, I guess you haven't. What exactly does this show have to do with your post? Why did you bring it in?

The Real Shliach said...

No problem.

I figured.

You wanted to know what I meant by "Eventually".

CoolGal said...

Yeah but your response eventually was to which question of mine? And you wanted to prove something so you had to bring in a video?

The Real Shliach said...

"Hey dude, post something new already. I am getting bored of seeing the same posts over and over again when I go to your blog. Not trying to be mean. I promise. I am very nice"

I wanted to make sure you got the accent right.

CoolGal said...

Accent? What accent? What are you talking about? I am so confused. I don't like feeling confused.

The Real Shliach said...

Manuel's accent.

Yossi said...

speaking of basil, have you been there yet?

CoolGal said...

Ok what about Manuel's accent? Explain in further detail please. I am getting kind of annoyed.

The Real Shliach said...

Yossi: Kesef menulon?

CoolGal: Nu, the etzem fact of his accent.

Yossi said...

ah. takkeh

CoolGal said...

Whatever. I am confused. Guess I will always be confused because I am not understanding what you are trying to get at. Leave it at that. Thanks for the enjoyable video though.

The Real Shliach said...

Yossi: Unless you want to sponsor...

CG: You're welcome.

CoolGal said...

Yossi: Wondering why you disabled the comments on your blog. Care to explain? I would be grateful.

TRS: Post more funny videos and more posts that are funny. Thanks

The Real Shliach said...

This is not the purpose of my blog.

CoolGal said...

Ok. Whatever then. Thanks anyways