Nissan's upon us-are you ready?

Today was the first day of Nissan, a day that some people mark by fasting a "Taanis Tzaddikim", a fast of righteous people. I'm not sure if these people fast every Rosh Chodesh, or if it's just Nissan, but either way, it's got to be a bit of a kill-joy for everyone else. Here you are, celebrating the birth of the new moon by having a moon bounce in your backyard for all the neighborhood kids, and some pretentious guy who thinks he's all holy comes around and asks everyone to quiet down, he's having a nap, he has a big headache, after all Bush and Congress made it daylight savings time for this time of the year, which means another hour of fasting, which he is doing right now, thank you very much. What do you do with a guy like that? Tell the kids to go home? That wouldn't be fair. I've heard from at least one person that he was attracted to Lubavitch specifically because they knew not to take themselves too seriously. Anytime someone gets are starts preaching what they claim is the ultimate truth, which is exactly what I do, it's a good thing to also have a healthy perspective. The Talmud provides a pretty good recipe for this, by telling us that fleas are greater than us; after all they took precedence in creation. So whenever people get carried away, they should just know that they're not so special after all.
Of course once you start talking like this people get all depressed, so you have to tell them that they really are very special, and they really do matter, and a whole bunch of similar claptrap, which may be true, but also gets you back into the vicious cycle, so it's dangerous.
Oh, right, back to the first of Nissan. Today is also the first day of the recitation of the "Nassi", a portion in the Torah that deals with the sacrifices of the princes of the tribes of Israel. I haven't yet been able to ascertain why exactly we say this. Where's the source? I asked the Rabbi at "Ask The Rabbi" at chabad.org, and hopefully he'll have some good info. Otherwise what'll I do? Nothing different than I'm doing now. I'm not one of those people who refuse to act if they don't know the purpose of their action. Those type of people end up driving off cliffs because they don't believe the signs telling them that the bridge is out. The rest of us turn off in time and go to a bar to drink a Guinness, only to discover, to our horror, that the price has risen so much that it's no longer economical to buy imports. Not that there are many people like this in America. Your average American would rather have his toe nails pulled out in a strange and vicious fashion by Asians in hoods drinking tea during breaks than give up his G-d given right to buy cheap shtuff from those very same Asians. Not that I have anything against Asians. Heck, some of my best friends are Asians. If you think I'm about to break out into some sort of anti-Asian rant right now, then I'm sorry, but I'll have to disappoint you. Anyone who works hard and keeps the law is welcome in my country. That includes those from south of the border. I realize that many Republicans wouldn't approve of those sentiments, but there you have it. This country was founded on the backs (probably broken) of hard working slave labor, oh sorry, I meant immigrants. As for Spanish becoming the new language of America? People were scared that German would do that, back in the day, but we managed to survive. I have a great deal of confidence in this country. Sure, we're going through a bit of a rough patch right now, and we may just need a Democrat to fix things up again, but all in all we still rock the house.
As Lucy Van Pelt once said, "Be of good cheer." As I recall, Snoopy wasn't too appreciative of her encouragement, but I'm no girl, and you're no dog, so it should all work out satisfactorily.