Thursday, July 17, 2008

Hibba Part IX: 100 Gates

On Tuesday morning we awoke, ate breakfast, and made our way to Amon Hanatziv, the place where Abraham and Isaac first beheld Mount Moriah. They were planning on having a sacrificial time, but G-d stopped that and instead Isaac lived.
Once we were done there it was off to the Old City. There are five quarters in Jerusalem: the Jewish quarter, the Armenian quarter, the Muslim quarter, the Christian quarter, and the tourist quarter. We did a tour of the tourist quarter, and spent lots of good money. Following that was free time for lunch. Eliezer and I were going to have some falafel, but there was a big line of Birthright types, so instead we went to a bagel store. I ordered a lox spread bagel. When I noticed that the lox spread consisted of 99 parts cream cheese and one part lox I instead ordered lox, which was 24 Shekel instead of 16. The girl at the counter put on one pathetic piece of lox. I said, "That, for 24 Shekel?" She said, "You're right", and put on another pathetic piece of lox. I ate the bagel and felt like a moron, which is probably healthy when done in small quantities. Next Eliezer (who had gotten an economically priced 14 Shekel tuna bagel) and I walked past the Churvah which is being rebuilt, so now there's no arch. We walked to the Tzemach Tzedek Shul and I met a couple friends who are learning there, Menachem Aizenman and Nissy Gansbourg.
Once we finished there it was time for another trip to the Kotel. I lead a Minyan for Mincha and then went to the part of the wall which is under an arch. It was a lot cooler than outside.
Once we finished up by the holiest accessible place in the world today it was time for Meah Shearim, founded by Zionists and inhabited by rock throwing radical Chareidim. We walked around a bit, and then came upon possibly the greatest store in the history of mankind: Jerusalem Kippah. At this store, for a nominal fee, they will embroider anything on anything. I decided to get a regular Lubavitch Yarmulkeh, six panel black velvet, embroidered with a Ches, Nun, """ ("), and another Nun. Anyone who's ever learned Siman 92 will know what it means. Eliezer was going to get "Allah Aqbar" in Arabic, but cooler (but not cooler) heads prevailed.
Next up was Ben Yehudah, where we wandered, drank iced coffees, and danced with some Na Na Nachmans which was actually quite enjoyable.
Once we finished dancing it was time for the hotel and dinner, which featured good 'ol American mashed potatoes. I has several plates. There was a Hawaiian themed Bat Mitzvah going on in the ballroom which was pretty funny. There was a whole BBQ right outside our window, which looked pretty good. It was pretty funny to see a bunch of eleven and twelve year olds dancing to disco music while the few older teens tried to flirt without appearing uncool. All in all, a great experience.
In the lobby there were five or six Yeshivish couples dating while we were hanging out. That too was pretty funny. Well, it was pretty funny at the time.
Following this adventure we had a discussion with Aharon about Zionism and you. For more info on what we talked about just ask Yochanan for details.
Yochanan can also tell you all about the mysterious object we saw outside the central bus station. He and I were walking back to the hotel when suddenly a cop yelled at us to get back. We noticed a small suitcase resting by the side of some stairs, and slowly a crowd gathered. There was just one guy from the bomb squad, and he managed to direct everyone quite efficiently. He put on a whole armored uniform, and attached cables to the suitcase. He then walked far away, and pulled on the cables. The bag toppled over, and the guy walked over to investigate the contents. Suddenly a little Israeli girl, twelve or thirteen, came running and screaming, "That's my bag" in Hebrew. Within moments the crowd surged forward and the bomb squad guy walked off, a job well done, if not carried to completion.
And then it was time to go to sleep. And that was that.

21 comments:

Nemo said...

When I was a Bochur, a certain Lubavitch-affiliated institution of higher learning, called CRC, used to be located on the fourth floor of the Jerusalem Gate. I, studying at the time in the Lubavitch Academy in B'nei Braq, practically made my residence in that hotel, for want of acceptable food and internet access at my home institution.

We used to make sport of watching all the couple courting in the lobby, picking out which would be successful, and laughing at the flirters.

Good times.

The Real Shliach said...

Sure sounds like it.

Eliezer said...

I was also gonna have Job 36:5 put on there for those who don't understand Arabic.

Nemo said...

Yeah, for all of us that dabble in biblio-esqe.

100gates?? 100 fold!! said...

Aharon would not like the title of this post

sam sapozhnik said...

It's actually called Jerusalem Yarmulka. In Hebrew, their store is called "ג'רוזלם ירמולקא." No joke!

The Real Shliach said...

Ma Zeh Biblio-esque?
The title was intentional.
Once again, Eliezer is correct about the name.

procrastinator of many aliases said...

This blog is freaking out of control. Comments are being added non-stop. I'm not leaving any more comments for the next 24 hours, bli neder

Nemo said...

Ah, so not everything is Googlable, eh?

It means Bible-talk

The Real Shliach said...

It's a good thing you said that "Bli Neder", because you're not going to be able to keep this vow.

The Real Shliach said...

Yeah, I tried googling it and came up with nothing, though I did assume that it meant something like this.

YochananG Aust said...

1.the first place we went to was Armon Hanatziv aka East Talpiot

2.why did you put in Aharon's "lies" Meah Shearim was established in 1874 which is before the first aliyah which began in 1881-82 and lasted until 1903 so when Meah Shearim was established there were no Zionists in the holy land

3.all i did was ask Aharon what the difference between when the Socialist state of Isreal that pays for (even religious kids schooling {yeshiva}and for religious institutions {shuls, mikvas exc.}) and other Socialist country's like France England Russia Australia that also pays for religious kids schooling {yeshiva}and for religious institutions {shuls, mikvas exc.} and all Aharon did was go on this tangent about service in the army and how proud they are of there county
4.Chanan you missed that the Zionist propaganda was only pushed on us after the Survey we took by the dead sea

YochananG Aust said...

Eliezer if you would use your regular name you will not have to be upset about all the unknown names out there

The Real Shliach said...

All I can say is "Wow".

the sabra said...

ha i would just zip and gawk at that point.

The Real Shliach said...

At which point?

the sabra said...

This one: .

Oh ok ok-"The bag toppled over, and the guy walked over to investigate the contents."

The Real Shliach said...

What do you mean "zip"? Besides, we were already gawking.

Eliezer said...

Hey Sabra, welcome to TRS! Enjoy your stay!

the sabra said...

As a chochom answers in order...

TRS-Had I been the little Israeli girl of twelve or thirteen...(I would not have brought attention to the fact that it was me who was irresponsible. zehu)

Eliezer- Uh thanks but I've been part of this TRSclub for decades now. It's you who is the newcomer. Stick around though, you have much to learn :)

The Real Shliach said...

What? And lose her bag?