Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The wild sandy yonder

As you've all probably guessed by now, I'm working hard spending most of my day on the computer, which isn't as interesting as it might seem. Heck, I'm even spending a lot of time on Facebook, which isn't as interesting as it might seem. Consequently I'm not quite as interested in spending time blogging as I once was back in the day, which is of course why it's so vitally important that I do blog. Right? Right.

Abraham our forefather went out from his homeland, at the age of 75, to the land where I will show you. What did he have to gain? Not a whole heck of a lot. How did he know he wasn't hallucinating? Did he have any proof that the voices he heard weren't some products of a fevered imagination? All right, so he survived the fiery cauldron that was Ur Kasdim. I don't know, maybe he had a fire-retardant suit or something? And where was he going anyway? He had no clue. For all he knew, he was gonna end up in the Payatas trash heap or something? How miserable would that be?

Point is, you can't trust the voices in your head. No, sorry, that's not the point. The point is that Abraham, at 75 years of age, showed some major gumption in leaving his homeland and setting out for who knows where. And his wife? What did she have to gain? I suppose she would have lost her hubbie, but it's not like he had even so much as looked at her before, so I don't suppose it would have been such a great loss.

I could write a nice little paragraph about the souls which they made in Haran, but after a little contemplation I realized that they're not worthy of such an honor. After all, they were all brainwashed. Perhaps something about their kids though. I bet they were a bunch of skeptical Lubavitch BBTs...

So there they went, riding into the sunset, setting off for a new life in the land they would be shown preparing to begin the epic story of the world's two great religions. Yup.

26 comments:

e said...

two? not three?

The Real Shliach said...

You call ours a great religion?

Alternatively...

Manis Friedman has a whole thing about how Judaism is not a religion- I think I blogged about it once.

e said...

very cute response.

The Real Shliach said...

This is even cuter:

http://abochurinlubavitch.blogspot.com/2009/10/worldwide-cooties-pandemic.html

sarabonne said...

re. not listening to voices, where were you when Joan of Arc needed you?
By the way, I changed my comment settings, did it make a difference?

The Real Shliach said...

I was but the merest twinkle of a twinkle of a twinkle... ad infinitum...

Crawling Axe said...

Who says voices inside your head are less trustworthy than voices outside of your head? Especially if you live around idiots.

Crawling Axe said...

By the way, a joke:

A Jesuit, a Dominican, and a Trappist were marooned on a desert island. They found a magic lamp, and after some discussion decided to rub it. Lo and behold, a genie appeared and offered them three wishes. They decided it was only fair that they could each have one wish. The Jezzie said he wanted to teach at the world's most famous university, and poof, he was gone! The Dominican wished to preach in the world's largest church, and poof, he was gone! Then the Trappist said, "Gee, I already got my wish!"

Crawling Axe said...

Sorry, wrong joke. This is the right one:

A nun at a Catholic school asked her students what they want to be when they grow up.

Little Suzy declares, "I want to be a prostitute."

"What did you say?!" asks the nun, totally shocked.

"I said I want to be a prostitute," Suzy repeats.

"Oh, thank heavens," says the nun. "I thought you said 'a Protestant!'"

Cheerio said...

whats a bbt?

The Real Shliach said...

CA: 1. Abraham was surrounded by liberals?
2. Cute.
3. Also cute.

Cheerio: A ben or bas baal-teshuvah of course!

(I'm not even joking)

Crawling Axe said...

He was surrounded by non-libertarians.

Leo de Toot said...

Dear Mr. R.S.
I suppose a "BLT" is a "ben or bas lite-teshuvah" i.e. not quite there but at least interested. Sometimes I impress even myself,
as always, Leo de T.

The Real Shliach said...

CA: No wonder he fled to Egypt as soon as he decently could.

LdT: :)

Crawling Axe said...

You saying Egyptians were libertarians?

The Real Shliach said...

They certainly took liberties with other people's wives!

e said...

they were totalitarians. Pharaoh was god.

Crawling Axe said...

TRS, you’re confusing libertarians and libertines.

The Real Shliach said...

Who is confusing anything? I merely made a cute play on words. In other words, a pun.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Over 120 pesukim in lech lecha and everybody talks about one of two of them.

The Real Shliach said...

Better than some parshos. Heck, has anyone ever said anything about Vayahakel? (just to give an example)

e said...

I agree. it's horrible. For example, during bahalosecha, all you hear about is how the menorah represents the Jewish people. There's all sorts of cool stuff there, but they get stuck on the menorah, which they should have discussed in parshas terumah, but they didn't, because they were busy with the zahav kesef u'nechoses.

Altie said...

Nice post.

The Real Shliach said...

e: Exactly.

Altie: Thanks.

Yossi said...

thanks for the linkage :)

The Real Shliach said...

My pleasure.