Just to let all my loyal readers out there know that we're doing fine, thank G-d, and I'll be writing a full report. Soon. Relatively. Eventually. In this lifetime.
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Posts
The Impersonator (by TRS, courtesy of BB)
Labels
- Advertising (4)
- Barack Obama (15)
- Baseball (7)
- Birthright (12)
- Chanuka (15)
- Chassidus (72)
- Crown Heights (7)
- Dating (14)
- Dear TRS: (8)
- Farbrengen (160)
- Fishing (1)
- Golf (1)
- Halacha (46)
- Haveil Havalim (6)
- Historia (14)
- Hockey (1)
- Israel (17)
- Jokes (27)
- Joshua (17)
- Kosher Cooking Carnival (1)
- Literature (34)
- Lubavitch (102)
- Mazel Tov (18)
- Movie Review (1)
- Mumbai (8)
- Music (31)
- Parsha Thoughts (10)
- PETA (2)
- Pictures (21)
- Poetry (13)
- Purim (1)
- Rabbi Chaim Schapiro (30)
- Shlichus (82)
- Shtuff (127)
- Tachanun (7)
And the winner is...
(Drum roll please)...
Summer:
Hot-4
Miserable-2
Cold-1
Bold-1
__________________________________
Israel+Iran:
Dark skin-6
War inevitable-6
Ruled by dictators-4
Separated at birth-3
___________________________________
Macaroni and Cheese
Good move-21
Bad move-3
___________________________________
Should TRS stop the ad hominem attacks?
Which attacks? -9
Yes-5
No-4
___________________________________
Trains are to males as...
hotdogs are to BBQ-10
crochet is to females-7
tennis balls are to dogs-6
robes are to HP-5
__________________________________
Shall we go healthy?
Yes-10
Yumm...arugula... -8
Are you crazy? -8
No-1
__________________________________
Last album before Sefirah?
Avraham Fried's Live in Israel-7
Benny Friedman's Taamu-4
Shloime Gertner's Say Asay-4
Beri Weber's Vehaarev-2
___________________________________
Some day we will all be...?
Expressing fear-10
Together-8
Warm-8
Sheltered-2
____________________________________
Yossi and TRS are...?
Evil-14
Brilliant-8
Hilarious-7
Awesome-5
____________________________________
Brush teeth in the shower?
Certainly-16
No way! 11
Brush teeth? 6
Shower? 5
__________________________________
America needs...?
More bagel stores-9
Legalized marijuana-7
Universal health care-4
Less reliance on foreign oil-4
_________________________________
America is indebted to...?
Charlie Chaplin-5
George W. Bush-4
Doug Mientkiewicz-3
Barack Obama-1
_________________________________
What should have been his reason?
Bored-1
Urgent appointment with hairdresser-0
Phone needed sanitization-3
He was going on an actual date-11
_________________________________
Is Over-Capitalization A Uniquely American Problem?
YES-2
no-8
Who said it's a problem?-2
Do they even have capitals in Crylic?-11
__________________________________
The winter has come...
Down the hatches!-2
Up the hatches-0
Who said anything about hatches?-6
I was going to say alcohol...-14
__________________________________
Should TRS be invited to the Kinnus?
Of course! He's TRS!-10
I hate to break it to you... -10
You really want rubber chicken?-3
I'll call Moshe right now-2
__________________________________
Craigslist:
Drawers, Bookcase, Couch...-10
Rocks-3
Cheap-2
Awesome-2
____________________________________
Crown Heights?
Crazy-20
You couldn't think of a better poll?-16
Expensive-13
Boring-3
_____________________________________
TRS?
Daily-17
Weekly-9
Every moment of your life!-7
Never-3
Monthly-1
___________________________________
TRS+le7:
No presence=Presents-11
I'm there!-7
I'm there+Presents-1
__________________________________
Breadsmith's Best?
Everything!-9
Greek Olive Ciabatta-5
Blueberry Cornbread, Rustic Italian-4
French Roll-2
Lemon Poppyseed-1
__________________________________
The future is...?
Now-9
Happened-2
In ten minutes-2
After supper-10
______________________________________
Music by the wedding:
Only Lubavitch-12
Lubavitch+Lipa-7
Only Lipa-5
Lubavitch=Lipa-4
____________________________________
What's for dinner?
Beef-6
Potatoes-3
Dan Quayle-10
The spelling bee-6
___________________________________
The Nine Days:
More mourning-7
More introspection: 3
More no music-7
More almost over!-8
___________________________________
The Three Weeks:
No music-6
Mourning-5
Introspection-5
Nearly Over!-5
___________________________________
Have you ever seen your father...
Cry-5
Fly-9
Tie-5
Sigh-5
___________________________________
The summer:
Hot-4
Sticky-7
Noisy-4
Enjoyable-12
___________________________________
Do you believe in...?
Unicorns-6
Taxes-3
The Great Pumpkin-7
Universal Health care-12
___________________________________
Peanut Butter and...?
Jelly-11
Jam-5
Plain-8
Who eats peanut butter?-6
____________________________________
Is there any specific reason...?
Yes-9
No-7
Depends who's asking-14
____________________________________
I prefer...
Lchaims-4
Shabbos Kallahs-1
Aufrufs-2
Weddings-7
Life-21
___________________________________
To be or not to be?
Be-10
Not to be-3
That is the question-5
Who cares about Denmark?-14
___________________________________
Pease Pudding
Hot-3
Cold-2
In the pot nine days old-14
___________________________________
Lag B'Omer means to me...
Bad Guitar Strumming-7
BBQ-5
Real Music-3
Parade-2
___________________________________
What is an appropriate response to terror?
Wringing of necks-21
Wringing of handkerchiefs-4
Wringing of hands-1
___________________________________
Who is your favorite Sefirah artist?
the Friedman Clan-9
Yosef Karduner-3
Lev Tahor-2
Kol Zimra, Six13-1
___________________________________
If one finds Chametz in a matza box while setting up the Seder plate, does one
burn your mashpia-31
burn your chametz+burn the entire box of matza-5 each
call your mashpia-1
__________________________________
When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie,
13-that's amore
8-that's a matzah, that's a bore
1-that's a law
_________________________________________
What's your favorite aspect of Pesach?
Summer:
Hot-4
Miserable-2
Cold-1
Bold-1
__________________________________
Israel+Iran:
Dark skin-6
War inevitable-6
Ruled by dictators-4
Separated at birth-3
___________________________________
Macaroni and Cheese
Good move-21
Bad move-3
___________________________________
Should TRS stop the ad hominem attacks?
Which attacks? -9
Yes-5
No-4
___________________________________
Trains are to males as...
hotdogs are to BBQ-10
crochet is to females-7
tennis balls are to dogs-6
robes are to HP-5
__________________________________
Shall we go healthy?
Yes-10
Yumm...arugula... -8
Are you crazy? -8
No-1
__________________________________
Last album before Sefirah?
Avraham Fried's Live in Israel-7
Benny Friedman's Taamu-4
Shloime Gertner's Say Asay-4
Beri Weber's Vehaarev-2
___________________________________
Some day we will all be...?
Expressing fear-10
Together-8
Warm-8
Sheltered-2
____________________________________
Yossi and TRS are...?
Evil-14
Brilliant-8
Hilarious-7
Awesome-5
____________________________________
Brush teeth in the shower?
Certainly-16
No way! 11
Brush teeth? 6
Shower? 5
__________________________________
America needs...?
More bagel stores-9
Legalized marijuana-7
Universal health care-4
Less reliance on foreign oil-4
_________________________________
America is indebted to...?
Charlie Chaplin-5
George W. Bush-4
Doug Mientkiewicz-3
Barack Obama-1
_________________________________
What should have been his reason?
Bored-1
Urgent appointment with hairdresser-0
Phone needed sanitization-3
He was going on an actual date-11
_________________________________
Is Over-Capitalization A Uniquely American Problem?
YES-2
no-8
Who said it's a problem?-2
Do they even have capitals in Crylic?-11
__________________________________
The winter has come...
Down the hatches!-2
Up the hatches-0
Who said anything about hatches?-6
I was going to say alcohol...-14
__________________________________
Should TRS be invited to the Kinnus?
Of course! He's TRS!-10
I hate to break it to you... -10
You really want rubber chicken?-3
I'll call Moshe right now-2
__________________________________
Craigslist:
Drawers, Bookcase, Couch...-10
Rocks-3
Cheap-2
Awesome-2
____________________________________
Crown Heights?
Crazy-20
You couldn't think of a better poll?-16
Expensive-13
Boring-3
_____________________________________
TRS?
Daily-17
Weekly-9
Every moment of your life!-7
Never-3
Monthly-1
___________________________________
TRS+le7:
No presence=Presents-11
I'm there!-7
I'm there+Presents-1
__________________________________
Breadsmith's Best?
Everything!-9
Greek Olive Ciabatta-5
Blueberry Cornbread, Rustic Italian-4
French Roll-2
Lemon Poppyseed-1
__________________________________
The future is...?
Now-9
Happened-2
In ten minutes-2
After supper-10
______________________________________
Music by the wedding:
Only Lubavitch-12
Lubavitch+Lipa-7
Only Lipa-5
Lubavitch=Lipa-4
____________________________________
What's for dinner?
Beef-6
Potatoes-3
Dan Quayle-10
The spelling bee-6
___________________________________
The Nine Days:
More mourning-7
More introspection: 3
More no music-7
More almost over!-8
___________________________________
The Three Weeks:
No music-6
Mourning-5
Introspection-5
Nearly Over!-5
___________________________________
Have you ever seen your father...
Cry-5
Fly-9
Tie-5
Sigh-5
___________________________________
The summer:
Hot-4
Sticky-7
Noisy-4
Enjoyable-12
___________________________________
Do you believe in...?
Unicorns-6
Taxes-3
The Great Pumpkin-7
Universal Health care-12
___________________________________
Peanut Butter and...?
Jelly-11
Jam-5
Plain-8
Who eats peanut butter?-6
____________________________________
Is there any specific reason...?
Yes-9
No-7
Depends who's asking-14
____________________________________
I prefer...
Lchaims-4
Shabbos Kallahs-1
Aufrufs-2
Weddings-7
Life-21
___________________________________
To be or not to be?
Be-10
Not to be-3
That is the question-5
Who cares about Denmark?-14
___________________________________
Pease Pudding
Hot-3
Cold-2
In the pot nine days old-14
___________________________________
Lag B'Omer means to me...
Bad Guitar Strumming-7
BBQ-5
Real Music-3
Parade-2
___________________________________
What is an appropriate response to terror?
Wringing of necks-21
Wringing of handkerchiefs-4
Wringing of hands-1
___________________________________
Who is your favorite Sefirah artist?
the Friedman Clan-9
Yosef Karduner-3
Lev Tahor-2
Kol Zimra, Six13-1
___________________________________
If one finds Chametz in a matza box while setting up the Seder plate, does one
burn your mashpia-31
burn your chametz+burn the entire box of matza-5 each
call your mashpia-1
__________________________________
When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie,
13-that's amore
8-that's a matzah, that's a bore
1-that's a law
_________________________________________
What's your favorite aspect of Pesach?
14-4 cups of wine
5-Matza
2-Tahalucha
1-Elijah's Cup
_________________________________________
Does the RCA Hanhala need a backbone?
27-They have hanhala?
6-Yes.
3-No.
_____________________________________
Does your mashpia approve of your actions?
14-I hope so.
12-Who has a mashpia?
4 each-Sometimes, No.
3-Yes.
2-Not sure.
___________________________________
How often do you listen to your mashpia?
21-Who has a mashpia?
14-100% of the time.
5->50% of the time.
__________________________________
Do you have a mashpia? (courtesy of YYR)
12-Yes.
9-The truth?
7-No.
4-That's none of your business.
________________________________________
Should the Taaruvos test be before Pesach?
20 -Yes.
4-No.
_____________________________________
Can it happen (VD"L)?
22-Yes.
4-No.
_____________________________________
Which is Lipa's best CD so far?
5 each-Lipa Baderech, A Poshite Yid.
4-Keinehora.
3-Likro Et Hahalell
2-Non Stop Lipa
_________________________________________
Should TRS spend more time in Yeshiva?
13-Yes.
7-He has no chance anyway...
5-No.
3-He's so smart anyway...
______________________________________
Will Taaruvos be harder than Bassar B'Challav?
13-How should I know?
8-Yes.
6-Depends.
3-No
____________________________________
Does Rabbi Chaim Schapiro read TRS?
8-Yes.
6-Go pack your bags TRS.
5-No.
_______________________________________
Do you like TRS' hat? (Jan '4. 09)
7-Wear it on first date
6-Yes.
3-Wear it to wedding.
2-No.
1-I'll buy TRS a new one.
__________________________________
Have you ever been inspired by TRS?
11-Define Inspired
8-Yes
4-No
___________________________________
Vus Meint Chassidish?
19-Group Think
6 Each-Smashed Hat, Lots of Alcohol, Ego ___________________________________
Cheshvan-What do you think?
35-It is what it is
7-Unpack your bags
4-Depressing
3-Boring
_____________________________________
What's the best thing about Sukkos?
10-Eating in the Sukkah
6-Eating in the rain,
4 each-Simchas Beis Hashoevah, Not sleeping in the Sukkah
2-The High Holy days are over.
___________________________________
Did you do Teshuva yet (prior to Yom Kippur '68)?
13-Working on it,
5-"Is Moshiach here yet?"
3-No
3-Have I sinned?
2-It's none of your business
1-Yes
___________________________________
Is reality broken?
12-"What kind of fool question is that?"
7-"Whose reality?"
4-Yes
1-No
___________________________________
Elul: By you what is it?
10-Beginning of school
7-A good time to repent
5- "Shofar, Sho Good."
3-"By David, Hashem is my light"
2-"Trembling Lubavitch Fish,"
1-Sad to see that school is starting.
___________________________________
15 Av: By you what is it?
6-Marriage
4 each-No Tachanun, On Shabbos this year-who cares, "Ma Zeh 15 Av?"
1-Heralds shorter days
____________________________________
Which CD did you miss most in the 3 weeks? (111 votes!)
42-Lipa's A Poshite Yid
16-Avraham Fried's No Jew will be left behind
12-Lipa's Likro Et Hahallel
10 each-8th Day's Brooklyn, MBD's Efshar Letaken
9-Abie Rottenberg and Shlomo Simcha's Aish
7-Yehudah Gilden's Harei Yehudah
4-Yossi Green's The 8th Note
____________________________________
What is the coolest place to go on Merkos Shlichus?
8-Perth
7-each Bulgaria and Namibia
5-Argentina
4-Kazakhstan
2 each-Canada and New Mexico
____________________________________
Can you think of a better poll than this one?
13-No
5-Yes
____________________________________
What's your favorite Shavuos food?
12-Cheesecake
1 each-Blintzes, Cheese Danishes, Sushi, and Fleishiks
0 each-Penne a la Vodka, pizza.
____________________________________
What CD will you listen to when Lag B'omer rolls around?
5-Yossi Green's 8th Note
2-Avraham Fried's Forever One
1 each-Lipa's Keinehora, Yosef Karduner's Road Marks the Whole, Avraham Fried's Chazak
____________________________________
What's the best thing about Pesach Sheni?
5-Matza
2-Only have to eat a little
0-Rosh's Farbrengens
____________________________________
Do you listen to music during Sefira?
13-No
6-Those who do are sinners and will burn
6-Yes
2-Why not?
2-I'd get depressed if I couldn't
1-Not stringent when it comes to mourning.
____________________________________
Is this the end of the world as we know it?
3-Could care less
2-Yes
2-No
1-I don't know
____________________________________
Which is the best Matza?
6-Crown Heights Matza
3 each-Boro Park, Your basement
1-Montreal
0 each-Kfar Chabad, Chicago, Russian ____________________________________
Which is the hardest to clean for Pesach?
7-Kitchen
6-Going to Florida
4-Children's bedrooms
2-Own bedroom
1-Car
0-Basement
____________________________________
What's your favorite Hamantaschen filling?
5-Poppyseed
1 each-Apricot, Chocolate, Raspberry, and Strawberry
____________________________________
What will you be drinking this Purim?
7-Benedictine
1 Each-Dry red wine, Sweet bubbly wine, Absolut, Glenlivet, and Full Throttle
0 Each-Smirnoff, Glenfiddich, Makers Mark, Bottled Water
____________________________________
Who won't win this year's (2008) Presidential Election?
5-President George W. Bush
3 Each-TRS, The Almighty Editor
2 Each-Hilary Clinton, Dick Cheney
1-Bill Clinton
0 Each-Barack Obama, John Mccain, Our Gallant Leader
____________________________________
Which is the more exciting Shechita?
6-Cows
2-Goats
1 each-Chickens, Turkeys
____________________________________
Which is worse?
8-Wicca
5-Communism
____________________________________
If a man speaks in a forest, and there is no woman present, is he still wrong?
7-Men are ever wrong?
3-Men are ever right?
4-Yes
1-No
____________________________________
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?
2 Each-Funny, Makes no sense, EP get a life, TRS get a life
0-Not funny
____________________________________
Are the recent polls Chassidish?
9-Yes
7-No
____________________________________
Your favorite condiment?
1o-A1 Steak Sauce
9-Honey Dijon Mustard
8 each-Wasabi, Tachina
5 each-BBQ Sauce, Olive Dip
4 each-American Mustard, Ketchup, Chrein, Soy Sauce, Chummus, Matbucha, Turkish Salad
3 each-Mayo, Chatzilim
2-Relish, Ginger, Lox (Yoni)
________________________________________
Your favorite cold cut?
6 each-Pastrami, Corned Beef, Tongue, Smoked Turkey
3 each-Salami, Bologna, Roast Beef
2 each-Turkey Roll, Turkey Pastrami
27-They have hanhala?
6-Yes.
3-No.
_____________________________________
Does your mashpia approve of your actions?
14-I hope so.
12-Who has a mashpia?
4 each-Sometimes, No.
3-Yes.
2-Not sure.
___________________________________
How often do you listen to your mashpia?
21-Who has a mashpia?
14-100% of the time.
5->50% of the time.
__________________________________
Do you have a mashpia? (courtesy of YYR)
12-Yes.
9-The truth?
7-No.
4-That's none of your business.
________________________________________
Should the Taaruvos test be before Pesach?
20 -Yes.
4-No.
_____________________________________
Can it happen (VD"L)?
22-Yes.
4-No.
_____________________________________
Which is Lipa's best CD so far?
5 each-Lipa Baderech, A Poshite Yid.
4-Keinehora.
3-Likro Et Hahalell
2-Non Stop Lipa
_________________________________________
Should TRS spend more time in Yeshiva?
13-Yes.
7-He has no chance anyway...
5-No.
3-He's so smart anyway...
______________________________________
Will Taaruvos be harder than Bassar B'Challav?
13-How should I know?
8-Yes.
6-Depends.
3-No
____________________________________
Does Rabbi Chaim Schapiro read TRS?
8-Yes.
6-Go pack your bags TRS.
5-No.
_______________________________________
Do you like TRS' hat? (Jan '4. 09)
7-Wear it on first date
6-Yes.
3-Wear it to wedding.
2-No.
1-I'll buy TRS a new one.
__________________________________
Have you ever been inspired by TRS?
11-Define Inspired
8-Yes
4-No
___________________________________
Vus Meint Chassidish?
19-Group Think
6 Each-Smashed Hat, Lots of Alcohol, Ego ___________________________________
Cheshvan-What do you think?
35-It is what it is
7-Unpack your bags
4-Depressing
3-Boring
_____________________________________
What's the best thing about Sukkos?
10-Eating in the Sukkah
6-Eating in the rain,
4 each-Simchas Beis Hashoevah, Not sleeping in the Sukkah
2-The High Holy days are over.
___________________________________
Did you do Teshuva yet (prior to Yom Kippur '68)?
13-Working on it,
5-"Is Moshiach here yet?"
3-No
3-Have I sinned?
2-It's none of your business
1-Yes
___________________________________
Is reality broken?
12-"What kind of fool question is that?"
7-"Whose reality?"
4-Yes
1-No
___________________________________
Elul: By you what is it?
10-Beginning of school
7-A good time to repent
5- "Shofar, Sho Good."
3-"By David, Hashem is my light"
2-"Trembling Lubavitch Fish,"
1-Sad to see that school is starting.
___________________________________
15 Av: By you what is it?
6-Marriage
4 each-No Tachanun, On Shabbos this year-who cares, "Ma Zeh 15 Av?"
1-Heralds shorter days
____________________________________
Which CD did you miss most in the 3 weeks? (111 votes!)
42-Lipa's A Poshite Yid
16-Avraham Fried's No Jew will be left behind
12-Lipa's Likro Et Hahallel
10 each-8th Day's Brooklyn, MBD's Efshar Letaken
9-Abie Rottenberg and Shlomo Simcha's Aish
7-Yehudah Gilden's Harei Yehudah
4-Yossi Green's The 8th Note
____________________________________
What is the coolest place to go on Merkos Shlichus?
8-Perth
7-each Bulgaria and Namibia
5-Argentina
4-Kazakhstan
2 each-Canada and New Mexico
____________________________________
Can you think of a better poll than this one?
13-No
5-Yes
____________________________________
What's your favorite Shavuos food?
12-Cheesecake
1 each-Blintzes, Cheese Danishes, Sushi, and Fleishiks
0 each-Penne a la Vodka, pizza.
____________________________________
What CD will you listen to when Lag B'omer rolls around?
5-Yossi Green's 8th Note
2-Avraham Fried's Forever One
1 each-Lipa's Keinehora, Yosef Karduner's Road Marks the Whole, Avraham Fried's Chazak
____________________________________
What's the best thing about Pesach Sheni?
5-Matza
2-Only have to eat a little
0-Rosh's Farbrengens
____________________________________
Do you listen to music during Sefira?
13-No
6-Those who do are sinners and will burn
6-Yes
2-Why not?
2-I'd get depressed if I couldn't
1-Not stringent when it comes to mourning.
____________________________________
Is this the end of the world as we know it?
3-Could care less
2-Yes
2-No
1-I don't know
____________________________________
Which is the best Matza?
6-Crown Heights Matza
3 each-Boro Park, Your basement
1-Montreal
0 each-Kfar Chabad, Chicago, Russian ____________________________________
Which is the hardest to clean for Pesach?
7-Kitchen
6-Going to Florida
4-Children's bedrooms
2-Own bedroom
1-Car
0-Basement
____________________________________
What's your favorite Hamantaschen filling?
5-Poppyseed
1 each-Apricot, Chocolate, Raspberry, and Strawberry
____________________________________
What will you be drinking this Purim?
7-Benedictine
1 Each-Dry red wine, Sweet bubbly wine, Absolut, Glenlivet, and Full Throttle
0 Each-Smirnoff, Glenfiddich, Makers Mark, Bottled Water
____________________________________
Who won't win this year's (2008) Presidential Election?
5-President George W. Bush
3 Each-TRS, The Almighty Editor
2 Each-Hilary Clinton, Dick Cheney
1-Bill Clinton
0 Each-Barack Obama, John Mccain, Our Gallant Leader
____________________________________
Which is the more exciting Shechita?
6-Cows
2-Goats
1 each-Chickens, Turkeys
____________________________________
Which is worse?
8-Wicca
5-Communism
____________________________________
If a man speaks in a forest, and there is no woman present, is he still wrong?
7-Men are ever wrong?
3-Men are ever right?
4-Yes
1-No
____________________________________
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?
2 Each-Funny, Makes no sense, EP get a life, TRS get a life
0-Not funny
____________________________________
Are the recent polls Chassidish?
9-Yes
7-No
____________________________________
Your favorite condiment?
1o-A1 Steak Sauce
9-Honey Dijon Mustard
8 each-Wasabi, Tachina
5 each-BBQ Sauce, Olive Dip
4 each-American Mustard, Ketchup, Chrein, Soy Sauce, Chummus, Matbucha, Turkish Salad
3 each-Mayo, Chatzilim
2-Relish, Ginger, Lox (Yoni)
________________________________________
Your favorite cold cut?
6 each-Pastrami, Corned Beef, Tongue, Smoked Turkey
3 each-Salami, Bologna, Roast Beef
2 each-Turkey Roll, Turkey Pastrami
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