Not worth reading (no, really)

I've often been told that if I have nothing to write then I shouldn't write it. As you've probably guessed, I haven't really followed this particular piece of advice too much over the past six months. So if I told you that the Maamar "B'yom Ashtei Assar 5731" completely and utterly rocks the house, would you believe me? Of course you would. You believe everything I write with implicit faith, right?
The reason it's such a great Maamar is because it demonstrates conclusively that Lubavitch is the most incredible thing that's happened to the Milky Way since the big bang. In fact, since we now know the big bang never happened, it turns out that Lubavitch is merely the greatest thing known to humanity.
If I haven't lost at least six readers with the previous paragraph then something is wrong. I mean, the chauvinism exuded was so palpably vomit-worthy that it's a wonder that no one is swimming in their own filth. Not that I have anything against people who support one or the other, but it sometimes bothers me when the world is painted in black and white. Is there no room for the green that will save our planet, the pink that will depopulate the world within three generations, the red menace posed by Hugo Chavez and his friends among the elders of Zion, or the expanses of Antarctic wasteland, redeemed only by the promise of untold oil wealth beneath it's vast snowy tundras?
These are the questions that keep me awake at night.
If anything I've written keeps you awake at night, then I'm really sorry, and I apologize in advance. Sometimes though, it's necessary to lie awake pondering the mysteries of the deep, the celestial secrets, the heavenly vistas of opportunity beckoning to us, calling for hope, for love, for something or other. Or of course you could lose sleeping wondering what I was on. At least it would be useful info.