Hibba Mark V: Jerusalem Tales

So there we were, making our way through to this crazy tunnel, and we passed by the place where King Solomon, him of the 1000 paramours and a tremendous buffet in Toronto, was anointed as King of the Jews. That's probably the coolest thing about Israel in general and Yerushalayim in particular. King David captured the city from the Jebusites by attacking from this tunnel; it really is amazing to think that just a few thousand years ago the original Messiah was walking around, slaying enemies and composing psalms. A little further on was Hezekiah's Tunnel, which even has a nice plaque of authenticity on the wall. Did I mention that the plaque was put there by Hezekiah's men?
The tunnel itself is quite fun to go through. Who doesn't enjoy walking bent over in knee-deep water? Besides, we got these really cute flashlights for free. Presumably someone paid for them, but that's hardly my problem, right?
Once we got out we met some old Arab who owns a house which happens to sit on top of a bunch of archeological shtuff, though so far we don't quite know what's there, as he very inconveniently has refused to allow anyone in. He did offer to sell for one hundred camels, which was a pity, because we only had Parliaments on us. Just kidding, he wanted animals, not cigarettes. And of those we had not a one. Perhaps next time then.
All this tunneling was soon replaced by a great big group dance in the concession area. I'm not sure why we decided to dance and sing. Perhaps we felt like it. Regardless, we did it, and we even got some of the hardier tourists to join in, so a fun time was had by all. All in this particular situation excludes our tour guide Aharon, who isn't a big fan of public exhibitionism. Don't worry, he survived the experience.

Next up was a drive-by of Gehenna, site of human sacrifice and the source of the Jewish version of Hell. It's cute, because a lot of people don't believe in the big barbecue in the sky. Why is that cute? Well, just imagine how you would feel if someone dumped a bunch of sauce on you. I imagine you wouldn't like it too much, which is a perfectly understandable feeling. The lesson to be learned? Never start a paragraph that you aren't prepared to finish. Even more importantly, remember to delete it afterwards if it really makes no sense.

Next up was the Machane Yehuda marketplace and tourist place. Lunch was a kilo of piping hot potato bourekas that were better than any I ever had before, plus a cup of slushy coffee. So yeah, this bakery didn't look like much, but oh boy, were those things. Everyone's favorite editor also got some sweet baked good type thingies, but I didn't have any of those, primarily because I was stuffing my face with the potato deliciousness. He also tried taking a picture of the baker, which the baker didn't appreciate too much. Eliezer quickly took some evasive action, like erasing the offending picture, and everyone was happy.
And aside from a quick Mikve by Mossad Harav Kook, that was about it for Friday. Tomorrow, with the help of the one above, I'll give you the Shabbos report. Lucky you.