Friday, October 31, 2008


In wonder and amazement the cry comes up, "Could it be? Is it possible? Does TRS blog?" In answer to these questions I have but one word: Salaam. Yes, I am back, and better than ever, chiefly because my brain is crammed full of fascinating shtuff, chiefly regarding Siman 87 in Yoreh Deah, but also featuring a respectable amount of this week's Torah Ohr. That is correct, I can honestly say that I've been shteiging away in Morristown. Now I can understand that some of you out there are getting scared, and thinking that the TRS you have known and loved is slipping away. Well, fear not friends, because even though I'm taking this year seriously, I'm still the fun-loving (sometimes anyway), cynical (if it suits me), anti-authority (oh? I'm the authority now? well...), mustard-loving blogger that I've always been.
So how is Morristown going? Honestly, it's great. I know that in about three weeks I'll be really frustrated with Smicha, and that in three months I'll be really frustrated with Smicha, and in three years I'll wonder what the whole production was, but for now, I'm satisfied. Of course, some people aren't too happy. My friend Yossi, for example, is peeved that he was told to replace his patterned Yarmulkeh with a boring blue one. "The Rosh was OK with it! Wilshanski was OK with it! What's his problem!" I'm not empathizing as much as I should be, I know. If I was told to discard my beloved ches nun " nun Yarmulkeh I would also be peeved. Of course, that would give me an opportunity to try out my latest design- ches, ches " nun, ches nun " nun. If you don't get it than it's probably just as well. Still, I'm trying to figure out where I should be from? From Uman I know I'm not. Hmm...well, I was born in Boston, maybe that would work!

Moving right along, shall we? We're just days before the election, and it seems that everyone is desperate for it to be over, even the mainstream media who are the ones responsible for this whole mess in the first place. Funny thing, these mainstream media. The conservatives are convinced that they're out to get them, the liberals are convinced that they're out to get them, and the media are convinced that they're out to get them. Some people are convinced of Obama's essentially bad politics, while others believe that Mccain has the prowess of a monkey flying around in a post-prandial illusion brought on by one too many victimless crimes.
The truth, of course, is that everyone is missing out on the really important point. If I was interested in spreading my name far and wide, then I would find some completely irrelevant point and proclaim that IT was what really counted, and thereby make my fortune and ensure my everlasting talking-headedness. As it is, I, like everybody else, have no idea what the really important point is; the difference is, I'm honest enough to say so. And what are we left with then? Not a whole heck of a lot. One side will win, the other will lose, some things will change, others won't.
Rabbi Chaim Schapiro, who heads the Smicha pogrom (CH"V!) in Morristown, is always telling us that we have to look at the big picture. Guess what? If you look at the big picture, people will be born, people will die, and at the end, all you have left are your good deeds. So in the big picture, it really doesn't matter what happens.

Certainly it is very vital that the right thing happens. The right thing in this case is the right person. It is extremely important that the right person wins this job. Which job? The right job. Because if the wrong person wins the right job, or vice-versa, the results will be catastrophic to say the least. Why is it so important that the right person win the right job? Because the right people said so. You know, if the right people know so much, why don't they run for President? Why do they only criticise others? Do they know something the rest of us don't? But getting back to the important news... Oh yes, so as I was saying, it's very important that all the right things happen. If they don't, then who knows what will happen?


Nemo said...

All I have to say is ... Bradley effect.

e said...

I doubt the Bradley effect will be enough to swing this. Perhaps when Obama was first starting to campaign, people would say "Yeah, I'll vote for a Shvartze" and deep down they're thinking "A Shvartze? One of those half-monkey dimwits?" But by now, people have been hearing about Obama so much, that they no longer think of him as "the Shvartze running for president," rather "the inspiring, eloquent dude running for president."

e said...

I'm glad that your חנ"נ kippa is now "beloved."

While I still love my shoemaker's kippa, I stopped wearing it because nobody got the joke.

Just like a guy said...

Well my friends, we shall see.

My Yarmulkeh only became beloved when it was threatened.

Cheerio said...

who dares threaten The Yarmulkeh??
"post-prandial" - awesome.
so........ i voted. are you going to?
and if so, what do you think about voting for yourself? they do have that blank line, yknow.

Just like a guy said...

who threatens the yarmulkeh? No one yet, but if they do.

And I'm glad you think so.

1. I voted
2. Read about it tonight (or somewhen).