Murder in the streets!

So I just got back from another exciting episode of Kapores at Lubavitch House. It was scheduled for 8:00. Then for 10:00. We got there at 10:00 and they told us, "half an hour." At 11:05 the truck pulled up. At 11:15 it began to rain. At 11:25 we left.
While the whole situation was a bit annoying, the cloud did have a magenta lining. For example, I got to argue with someone about Lubavitch, Breslav, and Rav Kook, which was quite exciting. It was also nice to see everyone all gathered together. Normally, people come, stay for ten minutes, and scram; this time however, people came and had to stay. This meant that we were joined by a (relatively) vast multitude from S. Louis Park. I felt like I was in Lakewood! Still, it was rather shocking that they came to an event which featured Rubashkin chickens. Have these people no morals?
That was another disappointment. I hoped that PETA would come. What fun is it to do Kapores if there aren't any crazed PETA activists around, video-taping abuse and making trouble? I mean, do they not like us? Do they think that we're any less worthy than Crown Heights? Heck, somehow my chicken's leg got broken, but no one came over and compared ME to a Nazi. What is this world coming to?

Meanwhile, in other news, I just finished a very disappointing story in Binah Bunch. The first part was great. The second? Stank. Basically, some kid finds an old piece of jewelry, with a letter dated Friday, 28 Tishrei. Kid says, "Hey, something's fishy." In the next issue, they continue the story. They sit around contemplating the piece of jewelry and discover that it has some sort of secret compartment with pictures of old family members. And the letter? Was intentionally written by grandpa so that whoever found the bracelet would puzzle over it.
I mean, come on! Couldn't they think of a better solution? The premise is tremendous, if a little obvious, but that's ok, because this is a kiddie magazine. But to have such a pathetic solution? I guess the writer just couldn't come up with anything better, which is a pity, because I waited a whole week to read the next installment. Oh well, what are you going to do?

And in other other news, this whole financial markets thing is getting tough, eh? You go to sleep at night and wonder what more bad news there'll be in the morning. See, if you just do what I do and go to sleep in the morning, then this won't be a problem, though I understand if some people aren't able to implement this plan of mine. No, I'm not like Nancy Pelosi, the wicked witch of the west, who throws a tantrum every time something doesn't go her away. I'm more like Strom Thurmond or Ronald Reagan, who didn't have a clue, regardless of what was going on. That's correct folks, the best way to the weather the current storm is to ignore it. And what if you're like 99 percent of the world and you can't?
Hey buddy, this is a blog, not an advice column. Still, I understand that in treacherous times like these people look for proven leaders, and I'm happy to represent myself as one. So. Where was I? Oh yes. If you can't ignore the issues, and it's giving you ulcers?

As Ohad would say, "Just think positive and problems melt away." Oh, the Dow is below 10,000? You know, I remember the first time it went above 10,000. People were pretty excited. And now it dips a little, and they're not excited? Just because the government just stole another 700 billion out of your pocket, you have to be all peevish? Where's the love?