Sunday, October 12, 2008

Why bother?

Humanity as a whole is a rather unwieldy group. There's so much homogeny, with just the right amount of insanity to make everyone appear uniquely qualified. Are we not assured that every member of our race is good for something? What then are we to think when we realize the futility of it all, the brain-deadening actualization of our worst fears, the acknowledgment of a complete lack of forethought on the part of so many people when they first began to birth.
In a nutshell, wouldn't we be better off without, oh, ninety seven percent of the world's population? That would still leave us with many millions, and with the right mix, I'm sure there'd be a little bit of everything needed for any planet to function in a relatively reasonable manner. It could surely be no worse than the way it's functioning now. Yes, I understand that some people would object to their friends and relatives being taken away, but they would soon come to understand the absolute necessity of the undertaking; if they didn't, they'd be taken away too.
Now, I'm not proposing just any run of the mill new world order here, no garden-variety brave new world for me. No, what we have here is a brilliant new solution to the world's problems. We all know that the economy is in shambles, that the war in Iraq is stretching on interminably, that major riots are threatened for November 6th; the question is, how can we solve this problem? I believe, and as your new leader I hope to achieve, a new and equitable solution for all peoples.
Some may scoff at my ideas, and others may wonder at my lack of planning. "How," they wonder, "is the dear boy to accomplish his stated goals, of ridding the world of all that ails it, if he can't even craft a sentence properly?" People who ask these impertinent sorts of questions will of course be among the first against the wall when the revolution comes. Still, their questions are valid, and will doubtlessly be answered someday.

All the above was originally meant to be a rant against people that I currently dislike, but I felt bad about cursing them out, and instead settled for some insipid hash. Fortunately, I have the old stalwart, the economy, to keep me going strong. For what seemed like the tenth Shabbos in a row, all people could talk about was how badly their stocks were performing. It's like, "Hello!" Can't anyone think of anything better to talk about? Like how the Kiddush this week was pathetic (and it was), or how certain people's predictions about certain ecclesiastical figures were right on the money? The former was (probably) not the fault of the sponsoring side, but the latter certainly was.
And thus does a thorough waste of time conclude.

18 comments:

m said...

A) Would you be one of the 97%? And B) Why was the kiddush so pathetic?

Nemo said...

The reason the kiddush was so pathetic was, obviously, due to the economy.

Brace yourself for more bad kiddushes.

m said...

And the reason you wrote kiddushes 'stead of kiddushim was due to.....?

Nemo said...

Nothing personal, but that's a stupid question.

The Real Shliach said...

m: A. Of course not. B. Were you there? The utter lack of food or drinks was quite telling.

Nemo: Actually, continuing on my "Dan L'kaf Zechus" thing, I believe the Kiddush was terrible because no one bothered to sponsor it until late Friday afternoon. Or it could be that the people sponsoring it refused to spend any of their vast reserves of money.

m/Nemo: No comment.

Yossi said...

Oh my gosh!! I went to this blog a few times, and I liked what you had written, and then just now I saw your pic!! I'll have to email you!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or did Nemo get so bitter as of late?

nemo said...

It was a stupid question.

The Real Shliach said...

Wouldn't you be bitter if you lost all your money?

Nemo said...

Now I'm bitter ... that I didn't go back in on Friday and make a killing in today's market (+900 points - best single day ever). Oh well, I went back in and hoping for a good rally again tomorrow.

If not, then yes, I will be bitter.

Anonymous said...

STOP GAMBLING! Like TRS said, make a keili; hte right one, that is....

The Real Shliach said...

So now you're bitter again, yes?

on-lineMashpia said...

Like Trs said, "make a keili". Give more tzedoko, learn torah, connect more with The One who provides, The One who makes this world go round and round.
Tell me that you are growing in Torah and Mitzvos then tell me that you are bitter. You won't! Guaranteed.

Nemo said...

Stock trading is a fundamental business practice, not gambling.

In any event, it's funny how you turn the common usage of the term "keili" on its head. "Making a keili," in the business sense, means to do an affirmative act to generate money, making a vessel for Hashem's blessings.

Nemo said...

There is so much freaking money to be made these days ...

The Real Shliach said...

I don't know, it feels weird. TRS being used to prove a point for organized religion? Has this ever happened before?

Anyway, Nemo, you are correct in your assertion; there is indeed much money to be made at this current juncture. Now, whether you'll be making it...

Nemo said...

I'd be careful about my financial predictions if I were you Mr. Real Shliach, especially if you ever need any help with your Real Chabad House.

The Real Shliach said...

Hey, I firmly support you every step of the way. Send those checks this way!