Sunday, February 17, 2008

Mixing in

I've begun to dabble a bit in the Shadchan business ( coming soon) and it occurred to me that it would be a lot easier if we treated it like real-estate. For example, I remember a broker making the promise that if he couldn't sell your house in 3 months than he'd buy it himself. Wouldn't that be great for this whole matchmaking thing? All right, so it probably wouldn't work too well, but it would certainly make life more interesting. Or how about if there were open-houses every couple of weeks? Just think how many marriages would be quickly set up if there were complementary cookies? I for one feel that a little competition would be good for business. And how about a "Better Shadchan Bureau"?
These thoughts and many others have occupied my mind in the last half hour or so as I've wracked my brains, trying to come up with a way to help the people of America come to terms with the facts of life. What the facts of life are, I can not truly say, perhaps because I've tried to avoid them for the last seventeen years, but be that as it may, now is the time for action. Now is the time for change. Now is the time for action. Now is the time for hope. Now is the time to vote for a man whose sole qualification for the job of President of the United States of America, this glorious Union which has made possible much more than most other third world countries, is that he is not a woman. Yes my friends, which does America dislike more, a woman or an African American who may or may not be a Muslim terrorist, and at the very least subscribes to the quite primitive belief that all Illinoisans were born equal under the sun, which is of course patently untrue. As virtually every relatively normal Democrat knows, it's dead people who count most in the Land of Lincoln's political landscape. After all, voting early and often is a sure way to win a nomination in Denver, and when it's people in cemeteries casting their ballots, then all the better. Who would have ever thought that a guy named Kennedy could buy his son an election? And yet, as all good Republicans know, that's exactly what happened.
After writing the above I realized that it was past my bedtime, so I decided to go to sleep, but not before giving a shoutout to Kosovo and expressing my admiration for any country which bucks the trend and declares independence from the machine.


Anonymous said...

and what did you do about the facts of life before you turned three?