Thursday, January 15, 2009

Saving the world one TRS at a time

Someone just asked me what would happen if I didn't blog tonight/today/tomorrow before Shabbos. I answered that the world would certainly cease to be. You didn't know my efforts were that important, did you? Now you do.
The question becomes, of course, what to write at this hour of the night. This morning there were, for some reason, three chairs by Rabbi Chaim Schapiro's place instead of the usual one. He asked the vicinity how he managed to merit three chairs when one would surely suffice. I answered that it was to accommodate his schizophrenic tendencies. He made as if he hadn't heard, and when I started to repeat what I had said, he cut me off with, "The other guy heard you."
Yeah, he's really cute.

71 comments:

Crawling Axe said...

When I was a freshman student of Neuroscience, I asked my professor whether he believes in multiple personality disorder. “No,” he said firmly. “And neither do I,” he added, in a different voice.

Btw, schizophrenia is different from mulitple personality disorder.

Also, when I first encountered the concept of cheilek Eloka mima’al mamosh (times the concept of bechira) and tried to comprehend it, I devised a moshol for myself, saying that in order to grant us bechira, Eibeshter had to make Himself schizophrenic.

Crawling Axe said...

(then, of course, the question is who is “we”…)

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

The answer is it's a prelude to a very good cholent this shabbos.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Beyond the latest visit from aguda reps, does anyone know what's happening with Shalom Rubashkin? The media outside of lubavitch is very sporadic.

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
Does the holy one farbreng for girls????

The Real Shliach said...

Chaim?

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
Yes, Rabbi Shapiro...

The Real Shliach said...

That would be Schapiro...I have no idea. I can see it now..."Hey Rabbi, there's this girl who wants to know if you'll farbreng with her and her friends..." He's gonna love it.

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
I'm sure he'd be really impressed with us all wouldn't he?

The Real Shliach said...

Probably help me pack my bags too.

But seriously, you should find out, because he is a really great guy/mashpia/holy one.

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
I very well think I might. He sounds amazing.

The Real Shliach said...

He's certainly in my top-5.

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
Who are the other 4?

The Real Shliach said...

You want the guys who are one-offs or the guys you can listen to week-in and week-out?

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
Both.

The Real Shliach said...

Since there's many people I've never heard...VD"L. And of course, I'm blanking on a bunch that I have heard. Dang.

One timers...
Rabbi Manis Friedman, when he's on, is unbeatable.
Rabbi Ahron Gancz.
Rabbi Ephrayim Piekarski (Phil).


All the time...
Rabbi Chayim Friedman.
Rabbi Mendy Schapiro (YOEC).
Rabbi Mottel Friedman.
Rabbi Ezra B. Shochet (the Rosh).

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
I've heard two from your list speak, and they're both great, so I'll take your recommendations for the rest.
Girl Farbrengens to fit the 21st century are about to begin.
Get ready.

The Real Shliach said...

Not happening. The guys can't be in the room when the girls are singing. Ruins the whole thing. When will they eat their tuna?

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
They leave and then come back. We do it all the time.

They can have their tuna in the other room.

The Real Shliach said...

No wonder the Farbrengens stink.

Ditto.

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
Wow, singing is so powerful that it can destroy a Farbrengen? We've got to figure this out then...

The Real Shliach said...

Without niggunim there's no internalization. Besides, when else do you think I blog them?

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

During the speeches of course.

What's a mashpia anyway? Neither litvaks nor egeldike moderne have them. From what I gather they are something like a mashgiach only useful.

Farbrengen said...

BS"D
A Mashpia is the light through the darkness.
The life-saver in the ocean.
The key to the lock.
The Ice cream to the cone.

Seirously all my Bais Yaakov buddies are jealous of the fact that I have a mashpia.

The Real Shliach said...

Yeah modeh, you better join chabad quick if you want to save your soul. And I'm only half joking.

Nemo said...

Modeh, since these people don't seem to answer your questions directly, I'll step in:

1. Lubavitch media is also sporadic with Rubashkin reports. Most of the things reported are testaments to his good and charitable qualities. They selectively post only articles indicating that people are supporting Sholom R., or that present some glimmer of hope for the man. Rarely do they give over any "accurate" information.

2. A Mashpia means a spiritual mentor serving in one of a few capacities:
a. Personal mentors and advisers
b. The mentor who is leading a farbrengen
c. Communal or yeshiva mentors who generally teach chassidus and set an example for the community.

cee said...

Ha! I just got it. ONE TRS at a time.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Oh so like I said. A mashgiach only useful.

I am so close to getting farchapped it's not funny anymore. I learn tanya, shmooze online with shluchim (including The Real One no less) I have a beard and on the rare occasions I wear a black hat it is smashed and battered in true Lubavitch fashion. I don't know what else is left. Oh and I even like Vodka.

Nemo said...

Your not truly Lubavitch until you hate Vodka, berate it as a Davar Ma'us, but drink with impunity nonetheless.

Cheerio said...

modeh - nu, so what's holding you back? according to the discussion i had over the friday night meal, if you have a beard and learn chassidus, you're lubavitch.

Cheerio said...

farbrengen - i would LOVE a farbrengen with R. Schapiro. we could ask him about his opinion of blogging conventions... ;)

Nemo said...

Cheerio, so not true. Being Lubavitch is so arbitrary that those standards are inapplicable. There are plenty of people without beards who don't learn chassidus who are very much Lubavitch.

Cheerio said...

i'd defend the argument, but it's not mine. lubavitch is not just a movement, it's also a social group.
it's the difference between "chabad" and "lubavitch".

The Real Shliach said...

Whatever. This is one of those pretentious arguments people have at 2:00 AM when they're half drunk.

Nemo said...

Pretentious, indeed.

Cheerio said...

half drunk, indeed.
and nemo, as long as you're here - where did you get the picture?

Nemo said...

?

Cheerio said...

the picture! the picture!

The Real Shliach said...

Excuse me cheerio, knowing you, is that totally inebriated?

Poor nemo, he has no idea what you're talking about. And maybe it wasn't even him. I can't recall.

Cheerio said...

no, it was just an irresistible opportunity.
well, fill him in then. and if it wasn't him, then who was it?
it's just - i'd like to know who has pictures of me that they're emailing around, yknow? if someone wants to facebook stalk me, fine, but emailing a picture?

Nemo said...

Um, no idea what you're talking about. Sorry.

The Real Shliach said...

What was so irresistible about it? BTW, the thought occurs, don't think you've gotten away with blogging about me because of tonight's post.

This picture probably came from facebook. Maybe my friend ira. I honestly don't know.

Cheerio said...

the symmetry of the line. couldn't resist.
ah. now i feel better. the magical stamp of facebook has soothed my worries.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

What kind of people are you that you're farbrenging (yiddish for chilling out according to a chossid whose shiur I used to attend) until 2 am and you're only 1/2 drunk?

Oh, so I am chabad after all. It's funny. I have so much trouble convincing people I'm not. Especially the people I put tfillin on.

The Real Shliach said...

A farbrengen that equals chilling out is no farbrengen I want to be a part of. Click on the Farbrengen label on this here blog and you'll get a sense of what a farbrengen is.


B. You know what they say-the world is divided into two types of people-those who are Lubavitchers, and those who aren't yet Lubavitchers. Still, there's a difference between a "Friend of Lubavitch" and a real Lubavitcher, the same way there's a difference between a davar achar and a chicken.

Also, re: only being half drunk: that's the reason they're having a stupid conversation. I mean, it can be a good conversation, but it's usually not.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

A- What the rabbi actually said was "it means to spend time together as in 'farbreng der tzeit.' I've been to farbrengens before though for the most part they were kiruv (for lack of a better word) affairs where the shliach asked me to come so he would have someone who knew the niggunim or could at least ayayay along and maybe field a question or two. I bet he also wanted to get me to become chabad which brings us to the next part.

B- Thanks for calling me a pig.

C- When's the next Lubavitcher Yom tov? Maybe I'll beg off on my shliach friend and go to 770 or something.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

TRS: After due deliberation I decided that you probably won't get offended and I can safely be nasty: Ah ... but which is which? ;)

LE7 said...

Man, I go be helpful and look, I miss hours of this...

LE7 said...

Nemo, go read the comments on CHfashion.

(You got me. I could care less I just forgot to subscribe).

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

TRS: as per your suggestion I checked the farbrengen tab on this blog. The answer to the source for where it says you pour out the negel vasser is kitzur shulchan aruch siman something-before-kuf. (There goes my attempt at being ah groisse iluy and quoting from memory.) So now I know what a real farbrengen is supposed to be. It must be great when you are actually farbrenging with people you know which is something I never experienced.

The Real Shliach said...

Modeh: the next chassidishe yoma d'pagra is 24 teveth. I didn't get your insult. I have answered this netilas yadayim thing how many times in the last two weeks? Go read the comments.
LE7: and look, I take the train/smicha test and have 44 new emails awaiting my response.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

I should read the comments too? You take yourself so seriously? If you didn't get the insult, I don't have to go to more effort to say something I shouldn't have.

The Real Shliach said...

Takeh a lot of the comments are moronic; I would suggest going to the original post and searching for "big fan"s comment. He was at the original farbie, and explains what the rosh was talking about.
Re: insult: fine by me.

Nemo said...

Modeh, I learned the hard way how important it is to read the comments on TRS. Believing the post alone that there is no source for the negel vasser thing, I staunchly argued the case at a shabbos table. Five minutes later the rebbetzin shoves a kitzur shulchan oruch over my chicken and I was speechless.

Cheerio said...

Go, random rebbetzin! proving that our kind can look things up and prove arrogant bochurim with smicha wrong!

Nemo said...

Excuse me, but I didn't believe it was true but for my reliance on this here web site.

The Real Shliach said...

Way to go making me feel all guilty.

The Real Shliach said...

Way to go making me feel all guilty.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Way to go moderne shgutzim! Not only do we learn halacha so we can show up arrogant smicha bochurim but our women do too!

Let's deal: I'll join Lubavitch if when you get your smichas you both apply for RCA membership. (just kidding)

Nemo said...

Will RCA accept?

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Why not? Even if you're an am ha'aretz d'oraisa they'll let you in. THe only yeshiva whose smicha they don't accept is chovevei torah on the grounds that:
A-they are not that different than JTS at the time that the RCA decided to stop accepting them
B-an occasional am ha'aretz d'oraisa who somehow wangled a smicha is one thing, but that place has no required gemara after the first year and dubious shulchan aruch.

The Real Shliach said...

Though unlike is a notorious violator of this strategem, it is not accepted for those in a position of strength to make concessions.
On a separate note, what would jointing RCA do for me?

Nemo said...

We're making it as if TRS isn't an am ha'aretz d'oraisa ... for heaven's sake, he didn't know the machlokes about nat bar nat!

At least the guys at Chovevei Torah know how to offer sex counseling.

TRS: you could get access to pre-written sermons and stuff. The good news in that Morristown is accepted smicha (http://www.rabbis.org/pdfs/ApprovedYeshivot.pdf) - welcome to the RCA! Now work your ass off for forty years and you might even get a gold watch and a retirement condo in Bayit Vegan.

http://www.rabbis.org/pdfs/ApprovedYeshivot.pdf

The Real Shliach said...

Dude, a simple case of nerves, and you make a big deal. Whatever.
Re: RCA: that's it? A gold watch? I have bigger and better taavos.

Nemo said...

It's a pension plan. If you play your cards right, you might do even better.

On the application you must affirm that your beliefs are in consonance with a resolution passed by the RCA in 1996. The resolution states that due to recent problematic trends in the Jewish community, every RCA chaver must state that there is no place, and has never been a place, in Judaism for Moshiach den Dovid dying, being buried and then becoming resurrected.

http://www.rabbis.org/pdfs/ApplicationForm.doc

The Real Shliach said...

Please please please don't turn this into a messianic debate, but there goes membership.

Nemo said...

Oh, I actually meant to put that disclaimer into the comment. I HATE those debates.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

[Debate]

[Growl]

[Snarl]

[Name calling]

Having fulfilled my misnagdishe duty, you actually checked?

The Real Shliach said...

Nemo: I'm glad we agree on something.
Modeh: checked what?

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

The RCA membership requirements.

Nemo said...

It's an easy Google search and a couple clicks. And, of course, it's more fun than doing the real research I was supposed to do.