Sunday, January 11, 2009

Short order cooks

Faithful followers of TRS will certainly recall a discussion we had a few weeks ago regarding food which must, according to Halacha, be thrown into a toilet and not even left for a dog. As I was doing chazarah over this piece a thought occurred to me which I felt warranted an audience with our mighty leader Rabbi Chaim Schapiro. Once he had disposed of all the questioners who preceded me I got my chance to ask the question which would no doubt change Judaism as we know it. "If your wife is a really bad cook, and the food tastes really bad, can you give it to a dog?" The rabbi was struck by the insightfulness displayed by this question, and proceeded to analyze it. Turns out we're not talking about people's own dogs, because the benefit accrued by feeding them this forbidden mixture is obvious. Rather we must be talking about feeding someone else's fido. So what benefit could there possibly be here? As Rabbi Dovid Shochet, brother of the Rosh and Taaruvos tester extraordinaire says, "You don't get bit by the dog. That's a benefit, no?" Of course then my question is still not answered. If the food is bad enough to make the dog attack you, so there's no benefit involved, can you feed it to your neighbor's great labrador?

Meanwhile, in other communication today, I overheard our esteemed rabbi explain that when you call someone you can't pick up clicks on your phone, because such behavior is downright rude. After all, you called them, and now you're wasting their precious time like this?
After the Rabbi said that he noticed me smiling and made a scared motion with his head. I said, "What, I can't smile?" When I graduated kindergarten they awarded me the Mr. Smiles award." The Rabbi countered, "Smiling is fine, except when it's the mischievous type you so recently displayed."

28 comments:

LE7 said...

What is "pick up clicks"?

The Real Shliach said...

Ever heard of call waiting?

LE7 said...

Oh that's what you call it? I've never heard that phrase.

The Real Shliach said...

Now you know.

LE7 said...

TRS provides so many services, including filling in the gaps in my education.

Crawling Axe said...

You mean, you call someone and then put him on hold?

The Real Shliach said...

LE7: you should start paying.

Crawling Axe: I don't, but some rude people do.

LE7 said...

With what? Money?

The Real Shliach said...

I have no use for wampam.

LE7 said...

Don't worry. You'll get over it.

The Real Shliach said...

That wasn't an appropiate answer.

LE7 said...

What do you mean? It wasn't immodest.

Nemo said...

Can you please explain the shaayla a little better?

Leo de Toot said...

Dear Mr. R.S.:
"Mr. Smiles" award? - I thought you were more deserving of the Alfred E. Neuman "what me worry?" medal.
Regardless, what fascinates me is that (1) you would marry, honor, cherish (and obey) a wife who was a really bad cook and (2) own a dog (although I suppose the latter can compensate for the former).
Puzzled (and woof-woof),
LdToot.

LE7 said...

My don't worry was in regards that you would get over the fact you're not getting any money out of me. (It was a continuation of the joke...)

The Real Shliach said...

LE7: which is exactly why I wrote that your answer was not appropiate. I was expecting the opening of negotiations regarding payment, not a "don't worry".

Nemo: which question?

LdT: I never said I would marry a bad cook, it was a purely hypothetical question.
And wait, a musk ox you can have, but not a dog?

Nemo said...

If the food is bad enough to make the dog attack you, so there's no benefit involved, can you feed it to your neighbor's great labrador?

I want to parse this out and explain it, but first I need to know what it means.

BTW, I'm highly unimpressed with you. Relying on your halacha, rabbi, has caused me much distress and embarassment. I brought up your allegation that there was no source for pouring out negel vasser where no one walks. I stated emphatically, it reliance on your post, that the Shulchan Oruch doesn't treat the matter. Sure enough, my contender brings me a Kitzur Shulchan Oruch five minutes later stating as such.

LE7 said...

Aren't we dealing in strawberry milkshakes anyways?

The Real Shliach said...

Nemo: my question wasn't seriously asked, but basically, you're not allowed to have any benefit from this food. So the question becomes, if there's no way to have benefit from this food, can you do something else besides throwing it into the toilet?

Also, this is what happens when you don't read all the comments in a thread. If you had, you would have read "Big fan"s comment that the maharsha says that he can't find a reason-it's brought down in shulchan oruch, yes.

LE7: ok, that's a start.

cee said...

Re your poll - What did he, the Rabbi, vote??


Strawberry milkshakes?? How about iced coffee?

The Real Shliach said...

I'm afraid to find out.

You'll have to ask the maker.

Dovid said...

"If the food is bad enough to make the dog attack you, so there's no benefit involved"- great stuff.

Nemo: We already brought that up. What TRS had meant to say in that previous post was that there is no source to throw out the water immediately, but there are clearly sources that you shouldn't throw it out in a public place.

Nemo said...

Ok, what about the brocho in the room part?

The Real Shliach said...

Nemo: again, yes, it mentions that, at length, but where is the source that the shulchan oruch got it from?

Nemo said...

Are you questioning the immaculate Shulchan Oruch?

Cheerio said...

i'll call people and pick up clicks. but that's because i spend a great portion of my day on the phone. after you've been talking for over 45 minutes, people don't care if you take a minute to pick up a call.

The Real Shliach said...

Nemo: no. What gave you that impression?

Cheerio: and this pays the bills how?

Cheerio said...

it doesn't. did i say i pay my bills?