Friday, February 13, 2009

I got published too!

I had hoped to be able to provide y'all with a screen shot of the latest Nshei Chabad Newsletter's printing of my letter to the editor, but for various reasons I don't have a copy of the magazine. Oh well. Suffice it to say that for some reason which boggles my mind they also printed the address to this here humble little blog, and I confidently expect thousands of hits over the next few weeks, all wondering who, what, when, where, and how.
I had thought, originally, to have several weeks of brilliant posts all written out and ready to be posted as soon as the time came, but life got in the way of that, what with my cold and Siman 105 and various other adventures, so yeah, I guess all those thousands of hits will just have to content themselves to some three AM drivel. Sorry.

So CH is packed with people of a feminine persuasion. While I have nothing against these people, the constant cacophony of a cackling most hideous certainly (wait-did I just murder my chances of a shidduch?) assaults the ears and makes Rabbi Spalter(Morristown)'s refusal to let the Shiur Daled me of two years ago come to town for this Shabbos more understandable. He wasn't trying to save my soul from the damaging influence of neshamos d'ban, but rather my ears from their inane laughter. Seriously, the worst thing that happens here when all the bochurim are in town (last week-how long ago it seems) is a little brech here and there. Now though, at every corner, and indeed at every stoop, comes a sound most screeching: five teenage girls guffawing most heartily at anything any of them says. Oy. Whatever. I'll get over it.

Funny, then, that in the very post which I imagine should welcome me into the minds of all those thousands of Nshei readers I should write something so negative about their daughters. I suppose you could put it down to the same feelings which cause seven year old boys to pull the braids of seven year old girls. Or perhaps it's simply the result of a sleep-deprived mind addled by too many thoughts of kavush, nifsak hakiluach, and all the other good shtuff which make the afore-mentioned Siman 105 so much fun.

Which brings us to another interesting point. Astute readers will have certainly seen the unprecedented two (!) polls currently polling to the upper left of these words. One of the polls, the one lower down, was already discussed in the comments. The other references a great schism which is currently threatening to tear apart the Morristown Smicha program which we all have come to know and love. You see, a movement has been started to take a test on all of Taaruvos besides Siman 110 before Pesach, and then to have plenty of time after the festival of redemption to get through that most painful of simanim before a test coinciding in some part with the 18 of Sivan. You see, people seem to think that they'll forget the greater part of their knowledge of Taaruvos if they're forced to take just one test on L'ag B'omer. Cynics like me would contend that they probably never learned it too well in the first place, so what's to forget, but the fact remains that it would be a travesty of justice to force bochurim to think about learning over Pesach. Heck, they'll all be in Russia (oh, that's been cancelled?) or Topeka or somewhere making a Seder for lots of our brethren and consequently unable to devote even a moment's worry to the thorny issues accompanying the laws of the fatty meat. That's one thing at least that Ashkenazim have over Sephardim. They may get to eat rice on Pesach, but they also have to be baki bain kachush l'shamain. Ha!
Right now it looks like we might have a written test for Taaruvos before Pesach, then a R. Schapiro administered oral/written test on 110 afterwards, and then get a Rabbi Shochet test for Melicha. If you think this a good idea then please indicate your pleasure in the poll conveniently located for that very purpose.
And for now then, au revoir.

9 comments:

Cheerio said...

we gotta see this letter...
also - have you thought this through? a link to your blog in Nshei....
and i wish i could give an educated opinion on the whole semicha issue... but i really have no clue what any of that means. good luck, though!

The Real Shliach said...

http://therealshliach.blogspot.com/2008/12/nshei-shtuff.html
Or go look in the Nshei.

As I said to the woman person over at Nshei that I corresponded with, "My ego would be very gratified if my blog URL was included in the publication." Or something like that.

Thanks.

LE7 said...

Why did you link Cheerio's blog to 'murder'?

e said...

The whole ta'aruvos except for 100? What's wrong with you guys? 100 is one of the easiest simanim. Isn't it about beriah?

The Real Shliach said...

LE7: Some commenters claimed that her post was bad for shidduchim.

e: Correct you are. That was meant to be Siman 110. It's been corrected in the body of the post.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Split the test. It will allow more unqualified people to get smicha thereby granting you the first step down the short road to Lakewood.

The Real Shliach said...

Ouch. For Lakewood I mean.

In fact, having the test earlier is really not making anyone's lives easier. It would give us less excuse for not knowing things.

Nemo said...

Howabout do what our program did and skip 110? Well, we didn't actually skip, just that no one learned it. Except me who skimmed it.

The Real Shliach said...

Go ahead and ask rabbi schapiro. Actually, he made a bag deal about making sure no one thought they'd be able to get away not learning 110.