Shameless pandering

Am I the first person in the world to write a post solely for the purpose of having something to send into Haveil Havalim? Of course, this does lead me to deliberation over which category it should be put into. Anti-Semitism? Not so much. I don't know if Jewish music will work so well either. Why isn't there just a label for "shtuff"? I think shtuff is good. The real question, of course, is what The Israel Situation is going to write about me. If s/he is like most other bloggers it'll probably just say something boring like "The Real Shliach tells us about (insert whatever title I think up here)". If h/se is interesting then we might get something interesting. Sounds good, no? I'm thinking something like, "TRS is so desperate to have something to contribute that he wrote a whole post saying absolutely nothing for your reading pleasure."

Hmm...would ?/?e like it better if I wrote about Israel? Something about how I had a 1/2 hour fight this afternoon with YYR about Birthright. I said, where better to get free access to the best falafel in the known universe? He brought up something or other about the evils of touring our holy land, which utterly failed to address the falafel issue. You think that'll make this week's HH leader happy? I'm picturing, "TRS tells us why Birthright is the absolutely most fabulous thing in the history of mankind!"

Or perhaps something about Israeli politics would be preferred. I could reference ?/??'s post about the seating of the new Knesset, and add a brilliant statement of my own, along the lines of "TRS blogs most incredibly about the incompetence that is sure to accompany the new Knesset, and he writes most poignantly about his memories of Shimon Peres." Actually, is it possible to put the poignant and peres in the same sentence? The guy is a walking talking-actually, I don't even know what he is. Bad? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Still, maybe I should go for a more cosmopolitan feel? After all, HH types are notorious for their love of the big city and a byline that encourages clicks. If I can just think up a provocative title, something to do with Brooklyn maybe, and then a quick insert about the joys of planting cabbages. Or maybe not. I don't even like cabbage (except in falafel of course).

Before this exercise reaches terminal futility I think I'll make one more humble suggestion: that I blog a lot better the rest of the week so that when it comes time to submit for HH I'm not stuck like a monkey in a tree. Yeah, that and having a little less stress. A little more understanding. Actually, a lot less stress. And a lot more messiah. I could do that.