Dear TRS: More advice for the massively massed masses

That's right folks, it's time for another exciting adventure with the TRS mailbag-and this time we actually have mail! Woohoo! Anyway, here goes:

Dear Sir:

I know that I'm not allowed to listen to non-Jewish music, so can I sing niggunim while I'm in the shower?

Sincerely,

Piously Pondering

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Dear Piously Pondering,

What are you talking about? Do you mean to say that all Jewish songs are niggunim? Or else only niggunim are Jewish music? Either way, I think that any holy music should be avoided whilst in the lavatory or its attendant functionaries. If you feel the need to sing, why not hum sung Avraham Fried tunes? Of course, if you feel the need for niggunim, there's always Breslov...

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Dear Sir:

There's a female friend of mine who rides the bus late at night in dangerous neighborhoods. What should I do to persuade her to cease this dangerous activity?

Sincerely,

No really, it's not me, it's my friend

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Dear No really, it's not me, it's my friend,

Tell your friend to get married and have her husband drive her around.

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Dear Sir:

I'm wondering which is more chassidish: to have your last chametz before Pesach be a hot cross bun from Breadsmith, or perhaps sushi from Byerlys?

Sincerely,

Insincere

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Dear Insincere,

Seeing as Byerlys hasn't made Kosher sushi the whole week it would appear that the better option would be the hot cross bun.

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Dear Sir:

Are you going to make another cheap joke at our glorious president's expense in order to wring some humor from this heretofore humorless exercise, or will you manage to restrain yourself?

Sincerely,

Avremel Shemtov

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Dear Avremel Shemtov,

Why was Barack Obama so desperate to become the President? So he could get free public housing!

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And a Kosher and most happy Pesach to you and yours.