Monday, December 24, 2007

The X-mas edition

Another week is upon us. Glorious Joy. Tonight of course, not only will creatures not be stirring in your local Christian watering-house, but local Yeshivas will be shutting their doors, and sending their innocent charges out to play in the snow. If they want, they can stay inside and play chess, but that of course would not bring the desired effect on the young innocent student's body. Now that we've gotten the nonsense out of the way, I'd like to warn everybody that the following is Torah, and therefore you may not read this tonight, at least until after midnight. That's right, it's the once a year celebration of all that is right in America, Nittel, the night when Christians commemorate their savior and Jews commemorate one of the worst people to ever sully the surface of G-ds green earth. It's nice, isn't it, that here in America we can insult the national deity without fear of punishment. Yup, Jesus sure was a Schmuck.
Oh yeah, the Torah. In case anyone is listening to TanyaChaz's Tanya Shiur, I'd just like to point out a misconception that may have arisen in the most recent Shiur. The Tzaddik's hatred of evil is mentioned. The example of "steak" is given. In fact, the Tzaddik only hates evil. Steak is not evil. It is Kelipat Nogah, meaning that it has potential for both good and bad. The aspect of steak that the Tzaddik hates is its use as a pleasurable thing, not as a way of serving G-d. But he doesn't hate the steak itself. Now if the Tzaddik is looking at a pork chop, then he hates.
And after this eclectic bit of shtuff...

14 comments:

e said...

On a Nittel nacht during my youth in yeshiva, the old Russian handy man asked us why we had off. Said we, "It's Christmas!" Said he, "I didn't know Jews celebrate Christmas."

The Real Shliach said...

Cute :)

Altie said...

go eat some pork chops?

The Real Shliach said...

Hate!

Altie said...

ive never tried it myself. who knows, it might be good. lets ask E.

The Real Shliach said...

You'll have to email him that query-he's not signed up to receive comment notifications (at least, I don't think he is).

e said...

I have subscribed to the comments. I never had pork chops, although I have had other forms of Chazzar.

I have a friend who Facebooked his first encounter with pork chops, and he enthused enthusiastically of their succulence.

The Real Shliach said...

My bad, I thought that comment was from when this post was whelped.

I used to be Eliezer said...

Back in the youth of this post, my comments were often of that type, but you had forgotten my great name change!

The Real Shliach said...

Right.

Actually, I was referencing the fact that you used to get all comments automatically. If that first one had been from then, then you probably would never have signed up.

e said...

oic

Altie said...

sorry i missed this lovely exchange, ive been out of commission since thursday. scary.

e- do tell us abt your experience of eating 'other forms of chazar'. if u can still call it 'chazar' i wouldnt give much credence to your experience. oh well.

e said...

It's Ok. Your not missing much.

Altie said...

i didnt think so.

not that its saying much, but i once tried that fake orange and white soy stuff that is supposed to taste like shellfish, or some other such non kosher fish, and it tastes gross.

i suppose my tastebuds wouldnt be able to handle the taste of non kosher meat. after all, i do have my scruples.