Monday, January 7, 2008

The inner Misnaged

There's an old saying among Chassidim: If you can't find a Chassid to ask advice from, go ask a Misnaged, and do the opposite. Back in the day there were people who literally did this. Nowadays however, Misnagdim aren't so thick-skinned, and they might get insulted if you do the opposite of what they say. It's still a good trait to inculcate in young ones. Of course, what it means for us is that we should ask our inner Misnaged, and do the opposite of what he says. There's a famous story of an even more famous Chassidic Rebbe, poor as a synagogue mouse, who once received 300 rubles for his personal use. His personal attendant was quite happy about this, because it meant that he'd finally be able to pay off some of the debts which so plagued the household. A man walked into the Rebbe's room, and poured out a tale so woeful that even a crocodile would shed genuine tears. Essentially, Basically, Like, So, he had a daughter who was of marriageable age, and they had found a wonderful boy, brilliant as the sun, kind as the stork, handsome as an albino rhinoceros, hospitable as a Hmong innkeeper, and virtuous as the swallows of Capistrano. Only problem was, he demanded a dowry of 300 rubles to finance a pyramid scheme he was planning on making with some friends from the local Yeshiva. All right, so maybe the last part's a little exaggerated, but the rest is true. Really, I promise. Anyway, the distraught man begged the Rebbe to help him. The Rebbe took the 300 rubles which had been given him, ang gave them to the now frabjous man. The personal attendant ran to the Rebbe, and asked how he could ignore his 13 starving children, his wife dressed in tatters, and various other household expenses, like the DSL bill. The Rebbe explained, "At first I thought to give the man the whole sum. Then I thought, why give it all to one man? I can divide it into six parts, give five to some very poor familys that I know of, and keep the sixth to help my own family. After all, it's my money! Then I realized that this was the voice of the Yetzer Hora, the evil inclination, (the inner Misnaged), and that the first thought which popped into my head was the correct course. So I gave him the whole sum."
The inner Misnaged makes a lot of sense. He can bring proofs from a thousand places to prove his point. His logic is impeccable. But that's exactly what it is, logic. G-d is above logic. The Chassid, connected as he is, is also above logic. Logic would say that Chassidus should never have survived the Cherem (ban) of the Vilna Gaon. Logic would say that it should have died with the cantonists. Logic would say that America should have killed off the remnants that remained from the Holocaust. Logic would say that 3 Tammuz should have ended Chassidus forever. But guess what folks? Lubavitch lives. And it's an express train, and it's stopping by your station. Jump on, and feel the love.

9 comments:

Eliezer said...

LOL. Loved the similes and the genuine crocodile tears and the pyramid scheme

Eliezer said...

hey! you stopped moderating comments!
I can write anything! Chanan is a shtick neveilah! NANANANANANA Kishkish

Eliezer said...

the real shliach is fake! I'm vandalizing his site! I guess my genius is appropriate to be linked to his!

The Real Shliach said...

Odd fellows we have here

The Great _________ Grobbe Behaime said...

all right man i dont mean to insult you but the english is great but it seems your writing has a lot in common with jogging. Meaning the whole thing is pointless nobodys cursed nobodys loved nobodys a nevaile as a member of the grea _______ family has stated previously with this word...... Point is a little of a poimt stop beating around the bush and good luck

Anonymous said...

you wrote pooped instead of popped. its all about proofreading before posting!

Benjy said...

Wouldn't you agree that the comments have overtaken the actual posts in poopularity, ever since the moderation was removed? Posts and comments alike are great for people who would otherwise keep their thoughts to themselves, sometimes for obvious reasons. Which reminds me a=of my all time favorite joke: Q. What do end up with if you cross a pitbull and a chicken? A. A pitbull.

The Real Shliach said...

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.
'Nuff said

baalbatish said...

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