Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The shtuff we do

There's this great program out there called Google Analytics that lets you see a whole bunch of shtuff about the people who visit your site. The most important feature is a thing called "Keywords". Keywords are the words that people searched for which resulted in your site showing up. I've had some pretty funny ones, but the latest one was actually a bit disturbing. Someone searched for "Naked Bochurim" and my site was the first to be featured on Google's list. What kind of weirdo would search for unclothed Yeshiva boys? I truly have no idea. Well, I do know that this person was from Montreal. Have they ever heard of a Mikveh? But that's hardly the point I'm trying to bring out here. The point is (is) that I brought this funny little thing to the attention of CCL, who immediately railed against me as being the purveyor of much sin, vice, and other forms of prohibited pleasure. I decided to investigate, because I didn't recall ever mentioning Bochurim going commando on, and lo and behold, guess who's comment it was that triggered my exceptional listing? That's right folks, and here's the proof. You like?
I'm glad to hear that you thought that was funny. In other news, I've come to the Big Apple in honor of Yud Shevat. Why so early? Well, you see, I also have Yehuda Leib Heber's wedding to attend tonight. And that, my friends, is the story, so remember to park your cars wisely and to never eat chicken's before they hatch. As they say, sterility is the mother of invention.

9 comments:

Eliezer said...

Whose liver's getting chopped now?

cheerio said...

oh mannnnnnnnn... ouch!
(and also kinda creepy)

CCL said...

I don't know about you, but I am able to blame my problems on someone else even without the help of Google Analytics :-)

Seriously though, Jon or Jane Doe, the creepy fellow who searched that search: what would he/she/it have done ten years ago to fulfill the desire to see nadek boruchim (that's to throw off the search party!)? Probably nothing more than fantasize. But today, he/she/it can sit there in its parents' basement (or living room in some cases) and access all the filth in the world. That's the bummer. That's the thing that scares me, and should scare you.

But seriously though, are the Poles chassidish? Not as chassidish as their ancestors.

The Real Shliach said...

Which Poles are these exactly?

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Real Shaliach:

Sorry to hear that you have been the subject of a weird google search. I suspect however that the searcher was looking for "Nuked Bochrim" i.e. Bochrim who have fabrenged too much if you get my meaning.

All the best, Leo de Toot.

CCL said...

It was (apparently) a sad attempt at humor, trying to play on the word poll and complimenting the Polish chassidim (Poles) of yesteryear.

The Real Shliach said...

Oh, now I get it. I'm not feeling too Polish though, perhaps however the Poles should claim CCL as one of their own, eh, Krenitz?

CCL said...

I'd actually love to go back to Krenitz, but I hear there aint no...

The Real Shliach said...

Hello Minneapolis?