Sunday, January 6, 2008

March On

Today the Yeshiva went to hear this guy named Dave Rosner. He's a stand-up comedian/marine/Frum guy. He said that when he was booked he thought the gig would be at a regular Chabad House, but when he walked into the Shul and saw all the black hats he realized he wouldn't be able to tell his twenty best jokes. So yeah, he wasn't incredible, but it was nice, and the pancakes were pretty good. In Yeshiva in LA we also used to get pancakes. They were pretty big, and pretty nasty too. Unless you ate 'em fresh, like within fifteen seconds of coming off the grill, they would have the consistency of rubber. My friend kept some in his closet for several weeks, and later several months, and they tasted the same. He even played frisbee with no noticeable side-effects. Except for a couple broken windows that is. Oh yeah, and within twenty minutes of eating the pancakes you get a choking feeling, slowly rising from the intestines, going up the stomach and through to the esophagus, at which point the generally recommended course of action is induced vomiting. It's like giving birth, only that pregnancy has some benefits, like a kid.
In other news, I'd like to say that I do not support the recent developments in the weather around here. There is almost nothing worse than slush. It gets everything wet, makes everyone depressed, and freezes over the next time it gets cold again. Who needs that? I'm starting to fundraise for a trip to Cancun or Cozumel, so if you're interested, I'd be happy to accept any form of money. Seriously, sometimes you just need a vacation. And not a working vacation either. I'm talking locked in a room for four days. No phone, no email, no nothing. Food we might let you have. If we're nice.
Anything else? Oh yes, in a fit of niceness, I decided to put labels on all my bloggings so that it would be a simple task indeed to read exactly what you wanted. Then I realized how much of a pain this would be, and also that there were bound to be questions as to my methodology, so I figured that I simply wouldn't bother, and waste my time on more valuable things. If anyone really wants it, then you can drop a line and I'll see what I can do.
One last thing. Yesterday I went to R. Chayim Friedman's house for the Shabbos Seudah, and while I was there a Bochur asked me a question, "What is the best way to be Mekarev a Jew?" I answered, admittedly facetiously, "With an AK-47." He looked shocked, and responded with an appropriate rejoinder. I said, "What's the problem? By Sinai, Hashem took a mountain, suspended it over the Jews heads, and threatened them with instant death if they didn't accept the Torah. And it worked wonders!" He didn't quite know what to respond, which was good. The question is whether or not there is a response? I know that Lubavitch is all about love, and all that, but what's wrong with a little brute force once in a while? Obviously with Seichel, I'm not advocating arming Bochurim out on Mivtzoyim, but what do you think?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Real Shaliach:

Very interesting point you raise. It is my observation that people (including Jews) are just interested in being observant when life is good. However bring a little pain, discomfort, or even agony into their lives and they immediately develop a great interest in matters religious. One of the amazing contradictions of the human condition. Sort of like you only appreciate something (or someone) when you no longer have it/them. I believe this has been true of Jewish history as well - the Jews have reached the greatest religious heights only when their backs were to the wall. Perhaps a little pressure would be good? Your humble correspondent, Leo de Toot.

The Real Shliach said...

No pain, no gain

Altie said...

for a while i thought that LDT was u, another multiple personality.

btw, i like a lot of your old posts. they are easy reads.

and your approach to shlichus: efshar ken efshar lo. let us know when u try it.

The Real Shliach said...

Now you know that he's not.

Excellent.

As soon as I get my hands on an AK-47...

Altie said...

i hear the american army is selling...

The Real Shliach said...

Are you sponsoring?

Altie said...

no, i dont support violence.