Clarinets and cabbage, oh my!

Is there anything worse than being one of five people photographing an event which requires maybe a third of a cameraman to be accurately recorded? I refer to events which took place this morning at the S. Paul (semi) Jewish Community Center. After a Sefer Torah was stolen last year from the yeshiva High School of the Twin Cities, it was determined that a new one would have to be written. Today marked the completion of this writing, and once I had filled in the Tuf of the word Et it was already to go. All right, so they had another fifty people fill in letters after me, but we all know whose letter was most important, don't we?
Before this fun and games could occur I helped set up the vast amounts of bagels, lox, salad, cream cheese, and various other accouterments to a successful brunch-style brunch. After the aforementioned picture fiasco I sat down to enjoy a well-deserved three bagels, stuffed with more lox than Teddy Roosevelt could shake a stick at, and a singular cup of Coke. You know how sometimes Coke can be the most delicious elixir known to mankind? When you take that first draft of your cool, cold, and redundantly refreshing can or cup of Coca-Cola, you realize why our brave men, women, and drones are fighting in Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea, and now, for the first time ever, Israel. That's right folks, two members of the US armed forces are going to Israel to help with the missile defense shield thingamajiggie, which is supposed to shoot down the nukes that Iran sends at Israel, because Israel was not allowed to dismember those selfsame nukes due to the US objecting to that destruction. But I digress.
Those army people are fighting to keep our supplies of Coke safe, and I must say that I fully support their efforts. Coke is what keeps this country going, much to the Pepsi people's chagrin, and I certainly intend to keep it that way. That first swallow of Coke is as American as apple pie, and boy, do I like to apple pie. Unfortunately, despite the general excellence of the event at our fair city's JCC, there was no apple pie, and the Coke did not meet the standards to which I had become accustomed. Sure, it was palatable, but the only French which could possibly be used to describe it wasn't appropriate for a family blog like this one.
Regardless, the event itself was quite nice. I was shocked to see many people dancing with yellow flags, and even more shocked to see a complete disregard for the recent ban of R' Elyashiv as the keyboard played a 2-4 beat. I hope that my ears are never again insulted with such daggers as they were today. Imagine, just a couple days after the new bans were promulgated, and already these Lubavitchers are flouting the will of G-d, as communicated to his most humble servant, Rabbi Efraim Luft. Anyway, despite these disgusting goings on, the Torah was joyously completed, and sent on its merry way to the Yeshiva, where it will hopefully enjoy a long and distinguished career.

In other news, yesterday some people came, while we were at Shul, and put up John Mccain and Norm Coleman lawn signs in, where else, our lawn. It's nice to stick a finger at the neighborhood, and even better to know that our signs will surely herald a new era of peace and prosperity for all Americans, even those who are dumb enough to vote for a basketball player. Yes, a new a dawn is just beginning to show over the treetops, and look! Whose face do I see yonder in the blazing ball of fire that is slowly creeping over the horizon? Could it be, is it possible, if only, Al Franken! Or maybe not. Jesse Ventura was fun as governor, and I think that Al would be much better suited for that position. He just wouldn't be very entertaining in the senate, and like we all know, Al's main purpose in life is to provide entertainment for the rest of us. Jesse came through admirably, but I don't think the Senate is the proper place for a man with Al's unique and unenviable talents.