Friday, February 20, 2009

Murder in the shteeble

Once it happened several moons ago that I was a bit bored and I wrote an outline for a murder mystery. You are correct, this more properly belongs on this blog, but still, I feel the need to blog on TRS, so please, enjoy:

Guy discovered killed in mikve before yom kippur, discovered morning
of 11th.
Question number one-which city killed in? Motown, Minnesota, crown
1. When killed? On erev yom kippur, during, that night, or maybe early
that morning? Disputed evidence from pathologists, perhaps due to
presence of chlorine, or maybe not? Would that make a difference? If
it did, would the amount make a difference? Who is responsible for the
chlorine in the mikve, if that is indeed a factor?
Is possible died of natural means?
2. Who killed?
3. Why killed-motive.
4. How killed? Drowning? Or dead before ever got in the mikve?
Last person to see him alive-by last supper, walking to shul, or in
5. Why didn't Mexican who is supposed to clean mikve report it?
Instant suspect.
6. Guy who publicly refused to forgive him erev yom kippur in 770-
suspect. Different versions, by witnesses of course, of what was
actually said.
7. Black employee who accused him of cheating him his wages, or maybe
committed adultery with the guys wife? . Suspect, possible race riots?
8. Wife? Suspect? What would she be doing near mikve? How saddened is
she by death?
Discovery- by whom? Connection to the dead dude?
How does protagonist hear about it? How does media report it differently than
If in Minnesota-does protagonist stay there, or go away to yeshiva?
Motown-smicha, zal, what? Spend most shabbosim where?
Consult with which love interest-dead dude's daughter, her friend, or
someone totally unconnected? Marry in the end?
Crown heights-spending year there, or in Motown? Plot device-can only
work on the case on the weekends.
Police-competent or not? Deal with who exactly? Take long time to gain
their trust or not? What do they think happened? Is their version of
events correct?
Community-what do they say and think about it-2 different things. Some
people happy he's dead, others happy? Was he notorious in community
for something, i.e. like fisher, or something similar?
What do with body? Inquest, autopsy, funeral-who shows up, who
doesn't, does it really matter?
How does Judaism play into all this? Shabbos in 770, rumors flying all
over, are any of them true? Is anyone maliciously spreading untruths,
and if so, for what reason?
Sidekick-good at playing crown heights, protagonist is not, how does this affect
Lawyers for prosecution-do they have a case?
Defense-who is being defended? Multiple potential defendants, do they
have lawyers before being charged?


Cheerio said...

i am awed by the brilliance. also, your real name actually has a nice ring to it as a murder mystery author... "Blood in the Water" by Mmmmm Mmmmm

The Real Shliach said...

You like? Maybe one day I'll actually flesh it out.

Crawling Axe said...

Something like this almost happened in my home town.

Anonymous said...

nice brainstorm, ever coming to fruition?

Real and Wright said...

Slightly racist, but if this all took place in Minny then, to quote HIMYM, there aren't any Black people (or Mexicans) in Minnesota when Prince is on tour.

The Real Shliach said...

CA: Really? Details please.

Anon: Nope. I'm too lazy.

RAW: Say what?

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

This one's good. I want a signed copy. And it better be signed "harav whatever" I bet I'm the only person here who doesn't know your real name.

le7 said...

I'd say start to flesh this out when you have free time...

The Real Shliach said...

Modeh: by the time this book comes out I'm sure I'll have had smicha for a long time.
le7: free time? What's that?

Anonymous said...

It wasn't a murder, it was a shark in the Mikvah!

The Real Shliach said...

LOL. Actually, that could have some unpleasant connotations. There have been issues in the past...

sarabonne said...

I like, I like. We need some good books, there are only so many shtetl stories I can handle...
I say, start typing!

Yosef said...

great novel. i think you should publish it and it will become a New York Time best seller

The Real Shliach said...

Sara: maybe you can arrange an advance?

Yosef: I have to write it before I can publish it.

sarabonne said...

an advance? as in what, the book cover,an introduction...or warning to those faint of heart?

yosef said...

well it looks like you already have the outline of the plot so all you need to do is sit down and write a page or two each day.

Cheerio said...

RAW - someone else who watches HIMYM in our group? i think our chassidishe stats just dropped another point or two.... :P
sarabonne - an advance is money given to an author before a book is written so they can survive while writing the book.
yosef - if only it was that easy...

Cheerio said...

oh, and CA - what?

The Real Shliach said...

What the heck is hymym?

Cheerio said...

don't ask, and your mind won't be corrupted by the answer. (also, you missed an i - hImym)

The Real Shliach said...

whatever you say.