Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Bother

Dear The future,

What is going on? How are you faring? Are things particularly better now then they were then if things then were any better now than they have been? You know what I mean? I thought you did. We (whoever we is/were/have been) for some reason have this perverse relationship with The Future. On the one hand, we do all this shtuff to The Future, and assume it'll fix whatever our mistakes are. On the other hand, we don't do all this shtuff because we scared of damaging its fragile psyche. Which is totally not fair. The present doesn't even have a psyche. It just has a couple of pounds of dried peas. Which doesn't even make sense. Which is exactly what makes it the present.

So, The Future, what else is going on? Have you gotten over the hangover we gave you a few days ago? I mean, not all of us have a virtually infinite amount of time to do things like that. Most of us get maybe an hour. But you have all day. Or even more. Crazy.

Moving right along, The Future, how's the music? Is it still terrible? Was it still better forty years ago? And are the kids still blasting it, destroying their ears and providing plastic surgeons with finely accrued earning potential? Did that even make sense? Did it have to? What does make sense about the future? It's just this big amorphous blob thing where everyone rides around on light rail transport and there's no more mosquitoes. Because the mosquitoes are all dead. You know why? Because the future is all about typing. And it's very difficult to type when you're scratching. Much easier to just kill all the PETA people. I mean the mosquitoes.

And maybe the fruitcakes will be gone? That would be nice. I can't stand people who take themselves seriously and leave ridiculous comments at four AM to prove it. It's like, either go to sleep or go some brain cells or visit Chabad of Champs Elysées. They can help you there. Because you need it. And the French, surprising as it may seem, can help you. Will they still be around in The Future? I would sure hope so. Because if there's anything we all need, it's frog legs. Yum.

24 comments:

Altie said...

i dont need help. its only 1 am in california.

i dont like the french. we dont need them.

u know what? i think the future is just fine. maybe we shall get there some day.

C said...

As usual... made no sense to me.

But... did get me thinking. About my lack of thought for the future. As much as it scares me to have no future, I prefer living in the present.

C said...

As usual... made no sense to me.

But... did get me thinking. About my lack of thought for the future. As much as it scares me to have no future, I prefer living in the present.

sarabonne said...

I like the parts with dried peas and PETA people.

Sebastion said...

We said sir! I think... my family breeds you to think of the future and actually forget you currently exist. nostaglia? right out. good thing I might as well have been adopted.

The Real Shliach said...

Altie: Yup.

C: I never make sense to you?

Sara: I try.

Sebastion: Maybe you were switched at birth...

Cheerio said...

trs. - now that's an interesting theory...
i may be the odd one out, but i love the TRS posts that don't seem to make sense. they're so cool.

The Real Shliach said...

Thanks! Even I need an encouraging word once in a while...

e said...

yeah, definitely written after someone's bedtime. Profound ideas, but mired in nonsense.

TRS: come to cheerio's writing group, and you'll get many more encouraging words!

The Real Shliach said...

Mired. A good word.

Cheerio said...

but not an encouraging one...
speaking of the writing group, are we gonna see your piece on THBTK?

Dovid said...

TRS- I like the idea of addressing the future. very TRS

e- "Profound ideas, but mired in nonsense." great summary.

Qtap said...

As nonsensical as you may sound, you make a very good point.

The Real Shliach said...

Cheerio: THBTK?

Dovid: Yup.

Qtap: Which was?

Qtap said...

TRS: I've expounded a bit about it on my own blog if you'd like to read there.

The Real Shliach said...

A link, a link, my kingdom for a link.

Qtap said...

What, you don't know how to click the little profile button? Very well. But you owe me a kingdom.

The Real Shliach said...

I wanted a link to the specific post.

Qtap said...

You should have said that. It's rather moot though as it's the first post there.

Cheerio said...

trs - c'mon, you can't handle a simple abbreviation? you obviously don't watch enough TV.
THBTK = The Highway Back To Krenitz.
and i was talking to e.

The Real Shliach said...

Obviously.

e said...

Cheerio: it ain't going up. Those were all lousy examples that I came up with on the spot. Really I obsess about numbers in much different, and more subtle, way. Too hard to explain. I shan't put up a post which does injustice to my obsession.

Cheerio said...

but it was so good!
if you won't put up that one because it doesn't do justice, why don't you put up one that does?

e said...

too much work. So far I've noticed that all the posts that required time to prepare never went up. I stick to simple posts.