Sunday, July 5, 2009

How 'bout them tangerines?

I had this really great idea for a post tonight, but I realized that I wouldn't be able to do it tonight anyway, but still, it would be a really cool post. Basically, I thought to have a hyperlink to every single article I read in the last 24 hours, with a little blurb about them and shtuff. Then you people would really get to know me (attending a wedding for six hours doesn't count, sorry). The problem is that I only came up with this absolutely radical idea several hours into the afternoon, and seeing as I wasn't willing to postpone tonight's post until several hours into tomorrow's afternoon I knew it just wouldn't work at the current time. So instead I thought I'd treat y'all to a real doozer-a genuinely inspiring old post! Woohoo! So here it is then, a few paragraphs oozing with ancient goodness, originally published on October 8, 2007 as Jewish Environmentalism, but just as relevant now as it was all those years ago.

In yesterday's portion of Chumash, Rashi comments that the first floor of Noah's Ark was reserved for Zevel, garbage. This got me thinking. The first floor is the biggest floor. Where was the food stored? With the animals? Unlikely. With the people? Must be. But why do you need the whole bottom for garbage? Why not just throw it off the ship? What are we, a bunch of enviro nutcases? Besides, it would all get washed away anyway. Heck, it was organic material! Besides, what happened to it all exactly after the flood?

A local Friedman suggested that they couldn't throw anything off the boat, even if they had wanted to. Makes sense. Could be great for a "green" campaign about how we can't throw garbage off earth, our own personal ark.

What is this, have I become Al Gore or something? I'll never live this down at the Junior Republican's League.

In other news, Israel wants to give back Jerusalem. Idiots. 'Nuff said.

27 comments:

Altie said...

1) post has no connection to title

2) interesting, i guess maybe they thought abt going green long ago. funny, it didnt really work.

3) idiots- hear hear!

The Real Shliach said...

1. Sure it does, you just don't get it

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Over lunch at the last parshas noach I spent in yeshiva it was suggested (this is why it had to be over lunch) that the largest floor was for zevel because that was the food.

Zvi said...

Modeh, that sounds like the old joke that yeshiva food is kosher lepesach since it's not ro'uy l'achilas kelev.

As for the garbage... maybe they were hoping the smell would get Og to let go of the side of the boat...

The Real Shliach said...

Modeh: before Zvi preempted me, I was going to say that the ark did not equal yeshiva.

Zvi: hmm, interesting theory...

Zvi said...

Alternatively, the midrash was sorta saying something like this.

Floor 3: the humans
Floor 2: the animals
Floor 3: the rest of the crap

Kinda like if I went on a road trip with my family, it'd be:

Front seats: adults
Back seats: kids
Trunk: the rest of the crap

It wouldn't neccessarily mean that I actually kept crap in my trunk, if you get my drift.

e said...

in middle of the post, you happened to mention that it was all organic. That throws off your whole theory. Noah's garbage couldn't have been environmentally damaging.

Now, if they let it accumulate for a year, maybe then some nasty microorganisms might have set up shop there....

The Real Shliach said...

Zvi: hmm, another interesting thought. We could write a book about it!

e: just because it's organic doesn't mean it's not enviromentally damaging.

le7 said...

Yeah e! haven't you taken lab? It's the organic compounds that you can't flush down the sink... all the ones that cause cancer or mess with the membranes of fishies are the organic ones.

Chayale said...

They couldn't dump the garbage in the waters because they had only one window... had they had access to the waters they would've drowned.

Therefore the garbage was kept in the basement until the flood subsided.

The real question is: couldn't they have just made a hole at the bottom of the ship to be used as a toilet?

the layman who dropped chem said...

le7: you know what I meant by organic.

Chayale: I'd rather toss things out the window piece by piece than live with year-old garbage.

sarabonne said...

Good think PETA didn't exist back then, or perhaps they did but were washed away....

le7 said...

Wtvr layman.

le7 said...

(And gosh Chayale is so smart - why didn't any of you learned males think of that?)

e said...

This is a question for the physicists, but maybe if there would be a hole in the bottom, water would get in?

Also, you would need a way of disposing of the animal waste. They wouldn't go to a hole to do their business.

The whole Noah's ark thing has lots of practical problems.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

le7: very smart. Make a hole at the bottom of your boat.

Chayale said...

Hey guys, I was kidding about the hole.

I wonder if the animals were kept on the 2nd floor, but the bugs (2 of each set) were kept in the basement with the garbage.

:)

The Real Shliach said...

le7: you're so smart :)

Chayale: they could've just dumped it over the side.

And you know what happens when you put a hole in the bottom of a boat?

Layman: lame excuse.

Sara: why do you think G-d made a flood?

Zvi said...

I once made a flood...

Anonymous said...

Only once? you're ahead of most.

The Real Shliach said...

I'm sure Zvi is a very responsible flooder.

Altie said...

i once participated in a flood.

trs- oh no oh no, a day has passed, and no new post! what shall i do?

The Real Shliach said...

Go read the one I just posted.

Altie said...

lol. nice timing. its like u read my mind

Cheerio said...

i once made an ark...

The Real Shliach said...

More details to follow...?

Cheerio said...

no, because the rest of the story is boring. just the first line is cool.