My issues (fascinating, eh?)

I've recently come across some people praising my blog, saying that it's beginning to have a lot of Toichen, substance. This deeply troubles me, because people might begin to expect all my posts to have meaning, which is of course not only unrealistic but also undesirable. It's good to be silly every once in a while, and if it's funny as well, even better.
Speaking of silly, I think it's high time that a little Shmuley Boteach bashing goes on here once again. After all, what would life be if we couldn't kick dead horses? In his most recent article Shmuley says several things that got on my nerve.
The main thing which annoyed me was the story he told at the end of the article. Basically, back in 1992, Shluchim were throwing around different ideas as to how they should mark the Rebbe's ninetieth birthday. Some suggested that ninety new institutions should be established, while others called for each Shliach to bring ninety new people before the Rebbe. Shmuley suggested that they work hard to get the Rebbe a Nobel Peace Prize. Shmuley says that unfortunately nothing ever came of it.
My problem is that this guy is still proud of having such a stupid idea. The Rebbe had no interest in Nobel Peace Prizes, or indeed prizes of any sort. He would much rather his Shluchim spend their time helping one Jew put on Tefillin than a thousand such prizes. Fine, so Shmuley was young and immature back then, but to still think it was a good idea?
After I wrote the above I approached our fearless Rosh Yeshiva, leader of Bochurim and all-round good guy to find out if my thought process was straight. First he told me to speak to Avremel Shemtov, and then he popped my pimple, saying that my thought process was actually more bent than your average blech, more twisted than your average steel cable, and more warped than your average thirteen year old, exposed to water, eaten by termites, and used for a Sukkah, piece of lumber. (Wow, now that was a great American sentence). He said that obviously the Rebbe did not want any personal honor. But if the Rebbe gets an honor or a prize, and it brings Jews closer to their father who art in heaven, then it's a wonderful thing. What a Noble prize would have accomplished is beyond the scope of our imagination. Just think, world hunger might no longer be a problem. Perhaps global warming would be accepted by all the environmentalist types as a not only necessary but quite desirable thing. The Democratic party might have been abolished. Oh well.
There only remains one problem; I had already written the first bit, and I didn't quite feel like writing a whole 'nother thing. But as you can see, it all worked out. Praise the L-rd!