The promised cheese

There's a holiday coming up called Pentecost, and it's all about cheese. What kind of cheese? Any kind you like, but it should be in cake form. Why? Because I said so, that's why. To celebrate, I'd like to share a little Shulchan Oruch with you.
First of all, the Beis Yosef only has three Halachos about Shavuos, one of which says that it's forbidden to fast on the day following Shavuos. So basically, there's a grand total of two laws about Shavuos, both of which deal with the Davening and Torah reading for the day. The Alter Rebbe has twenty Halachos in his Shulchan Oruch, and goes into some interesting issues, like the Halacha that says that it's forbidden to sniff things between Baruch Sheomar and the Amidah. Why would this be a problem on Shavuos? Well it turns out that the Shelah says that some people bring fragrant grasses into the Shul on Shavuos. I assume that they do this to wake people up, or perhaps to remind them of what Mount Sinai smelled like before the giving of the Torah. Anyway, as I promised, I'm going to write about cheesy bits now.
The Rema starts off by saying that it's the custom for all Jews to eat milk products on Shavuos because of the two cooked foods we eat on Pesach. Yeah, it's not the world's most illuminating answer, is it? The Magen Avraham explains, as does the Alter Rebbe, that there are many reasons for this, and proceeds to list one. After the Israelites left Egypt they entered a cleaning process that lasted for seven weeks, which is compared to a woman's seven clean days following Niddah, at which point blood turns to milk, which is Din (strict judgement) turning into Rachamim (mercy). If you want more info on this, don't ask me, because I don't know these things yet. Point is, I wanted to write a nice long post about cheese and Shavuos, and I failed miserably. Sure, I could search google for some shtuff, but you could do that too. I wanted something new, exciting, and possibly very controversial. And what did I get? A man who was looking a lot like me, that's all.

Well, as the old saying goes, when life gives you lemonade, make sorbet with them. Actually, I'm really not a big fan of lemon sorbet-I much prefer coconut or raspberry. So how shall I rise triumphant, stand strong against the tide of human affairs, hold forth through the threats that are currently engulfing whatever it is we hold sacred? Simple. I'll go learn some more.