Monday, May 12, 2008

Variety is the spice of life

Our retiring (not the golden handshake variety) leader Farbrenged tonight. He said that 10:00 PM through 10:00 AM is the time for your G-dly soul to rule, while the other 12 hours are the province of the animal soul. This coincides with his semi-recent decision to start taking life seriously, which is quite scary for the rest of us, since he's not even 40 years old. If he's taking life seriously now, who knows what's in store for the rest of us? His new theory about the time thing is that the most important parts of the day happen at night and in the morning. Before we lay us down to sleep we say the Krias Shema, which together with a Cheshbon Hanefesh, an accounting of the day, forms the backbone of our sacred religion, even if few people realize it. Next of course we commit the actual laying down to asleep, followed soon after by waking up, Modeh Ani, the ritual washing of the hands, the ritual laving of the body in the ritualarium, the study of Chassidus together with your drink of choice (tea, coffee, Coca-Cola, Diet Sunkist, etc.) and your mezonos of choice (or even chips and salsa). Next up is charity and then it's time for prayer. The first Chassidim of many years back took an hour to prepare for the 18 prayer benediction, an hour actually saying it, and an hour after to calm down. So that was nine hours total, per day, every day. It's enough if you can drag it out until 10:00, at which point you're free to eat breakfast and get on with your day, remembering of course that the hallmark of an effective prayer is its effect on the next 12 hours.

Sounds okay? The Rabbi will be gratified to hear that. In the middle of the Farbrengen he remarked that my problem was that I viewed life as one big joke. "In reality", he did say, "it's two big jokes." This statement got me thinking. Do I really not take life seriously enough? Sure, I enjoy a good joke as much as the next joy, and I'll try and run away from problems instead of dealing with 'em, but does that really imply that my life is missing the gravity it so obviously deserves? Speaking of gravity, I'm sure everyone will be happy to hear that, after extensive consultation with the Almighty Editor, I've resolved to not write the Next Great American Novel. I have the whole thing worked out in my head, but it would be way too much of a pain to actually write the whole thing down. Perhaps when I'm a little older and a little wiser I'll be able to.

In other news, I'm really tired, and quite annoyed. See, I'm writing this in Windows WordPad while I'm waiting for the internet to begin working. I've been waiting for over an hour. It claims to be updating the hardware or something. My question is, why do I have to suffer? I feel like Job or Charlie Brown; "Man is born to suffer as the sparks fly upwards." I wouldn't mind if the the little window thingie that showed progress actually showed progress, but it doesn't! It's been stuck on one bar the entire time. If I was paying for the product I'd probably call up and complain, but I'm not, so that option flies right out the window.

Incredible. I do a little praying, floss and brush my teeth, and viola! We have internet! A modern day miracle! If I wasn't Jewish already I could probably found a major new world-religion based on this. Oh well, I'll just go to bed, which isn't too bad an alternative to religion-founding when you think about it.

Holy smokes. I was planning on just posting on going to sleep, but something happened today that was too amazing to not write about. On May 11th, 2003, Mother's Day, the Minnesota Twins played the Boston Red Sox at the Metrodome on Sunday Night Baseball. On May 11th, 2008, Mother's Day, the Minnesota Twins played the Boston Red Sox at the Metrodome on Sunday Night Baseball. In 2003, the Twins lead big, but their bullpen was shaky and their closer gave up 2 runs in the ninth before pulling out the save for the 9-8 win. In 2008 the Twins lead big, but their pitching was shaky and their closer gave up 2 runs in the ninth before pulling out the save for the 9-8 win. How do I know so much about the first game? Well, I was there with Rabbi Mottel Friedman, as were several Shluchim from the Lubavitch Yeshiva of Minnesota-Wexler Learning Institute, though they didn't know at the time that we were there. How do I know so much about the second game? Well, after noting the first several incredible coincidences (coincidence? I think not!) I made sure to check on the last, which was even more amazing than all the first ones put together. I'm not making this up either, you can check here for the 2003 game and here for the 2008 version. What the lesson in Avodas Hashem is exactly I'm not sure, but I can tell you that this sure is pretty wacky.


Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. R.S.

Coincidences? What's really strange is that I, a moderate Twins' supporter, happened to be in Boston this past Mother's day (although not the previous Mothers' days you referenced). Note: I say "moderate" because, to claim to be a full supporter, I would have to be a baseball fan. Unfortunately baseball takes second place to cricket. L d Toot.