Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Turns it does

I wrote a whole post today, had about an hour's worth of phone calls, and realized that the post was absolute garbage. Actually, I knew it was garbage while I was writing it, I just wanted to slip in the phone calls. Be that as it may, I really don't have patience to write anything else, so I guess you'll just have to suffer. With an approbation like that, who wouldn't?
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The following is the type of self-reflective post that comes from listening to too much of MBD's Efshar Letaken. A fine song to be sure, and parts of which I sing in zal at least once a day (ki im atah maamin she'efshar l'kalkel vadai she'efshar letaken) but not necessarily the best inspiration for a post. Anyway, enjoy...

There's something so 1996 about checking your email once a day. Actually, I didn't even have email back then. I think I got my first email address when I was in sixth grade, a hotmail account, but though I could remember the password I couldn't recall my username, so I never actually used it. About a year later AOL changed their policy to allow five email addresses per account, or something like that, and I finally gained access to the world wide web. Of course no one ever actually emailed me, and I really didn't have anyone to email. I never even got any spam!
I used to go around finding interesting-looking email newsletters to join, and so the NY Times, Jewish joke a day, and the Packers weekly email were the highlights of my inbox. Plus about seventeen emails a day from chabad.org. But those I never read.

My web viewing was similarly limited. I never really used any of AOL's many features (except to follow Twins and Brewers games) and-you know what? This seems like a good place to segue a bit. AOL used to have this great little screen, text only, that told you only the most basic information about a ball game. It was a bit like a mini box score. And you could have as many of them open at one time as you wanted. I was really disappointed when they replaced it with a graphic monstrosity which only allowed for one game at a time, and unlike the text variant wasn't in almost-realtime. Oh well, I guess you can't stop progress.

The most interesting site I used to visit was probably As The Apple Turns (you'll have to excuse my lack of hyperlinks, but I'm on an iPod after all...) an Apple computer rumor site that didn't take itself too seriously. I once wrote some poetry for them that was kind of cute, and of course they took care of my Apple fix. You see, back in the day I was positively obsessed with Apple. I pined for an iMac for weeks, and when our shiny bondi blue revision A beauty came on shabbos afternoon I was deliriously joyous. Or joyously delirious. One of the two. Or possibly both. Maybe I'll make a poll about it.
Yeah, I used to love them Apples. In days gone by I vowed that in my house no PC would ever be found, and prostylized (sorry 'bout that) to all the neighboring folks. Now I've grown a bit and realize that although uncle Steve is all kind and beneficient it's not necessarily necessary for me to have one of his products. Sure, it would be great, but if finances do not allow then what's to be done?

Any other sites? Hmm. Boeing.com I visited on a constant basis, because like all good boys I loved airplanes. Not Airbus, chas v'shalom, because I could never stomach the thought of supporting a socialist-produced people mover. No, it was Boeing all the way for me. I used to spend hours working on my Boeing encyclopedia, but I gave up once they merged with MD because that would have meant a lot of
updating.
My favorite airplane? The 757. You look at it while your standing on the ground, in front of the nose, at about a 30 degree angle...gorgeous. I'm not kidding. Such strict lines, such equanimius pose, uch man, my heart beats fast at the thought.

And I think that may have been about it. Most of my news came from NPR, and what else was there for a kid to look at? Oh yeah, I checked the Packers site every day. But otherwise? I mean, I wasn't even using google yet! The big thing was metacrawler. Yup, I feel like Arnold Fine. That is not a good thing.

Oh right, the inspiration for this post is my only being able to check my mail once a day. Unlike in 1996, this isn't it's hard to get away with. Aside from all the urgent emails I daily receive from heads of state (something about a Nigerian prince or something? [who knew they had princes in Nigeria?]) there's also the issue of having to deal with fifty or sixty missives in the extreme cold that is early March 2009. But I guess I'll get over it. Do I have a choice?

Oh yeah, one more thing. Today's the sixth anniversary of my diary. That's pretty crazy, no? My whole life laid bare, accessible to anyone
who can read the writing of my hand (not me). Six years is a long time. Wow. I'm inspired by myself. Imagine if I had pledged to do something worthwhile with all that time! But I suppose it was time well spent. My heirs will have something to support themselves with when I've passed on to the great Pizza Time (or Sprinkles if you prefer icecream) in the sky.

44 comments:

sarabonne said...

hah, the great TRS yichus...
I got my first email adress back when I was twelve and hadn't used another til this year. Guess what, still no spam.

Cheerio said...

wow, sara, that is impressive. i've demonstrated restraint, and only have two, one for spam and one for communication,
TRS - loved this. a little nostalgia is awesome. Mazel Tov on your diary anniversary. One of these days I should track down the first date of mine... maybe I'll start writing in it again on the same day...
and MBD's version can't hold a candle to Yosef Karduner's. Best song to sing when you feel like a failure.

Jesse said...

trs, i have to disagree with you on the 757. I think there are more impressive planes from boeing. I always believed that the 747 was beautiful. Especially when coming in for a landing with full flaps. But currently the new 787 is also very good looking. As for air bus i must agree with you somewhat, but the a380 is kind of cool. Plus what do you think of the 777?

le7 said...

Don't give up on the Apple dream! My mother may be penniless but she has certain principles which are unmoving! One of which is her tireless dedication to Apple products.

You can do it. I have faith. I believe in you.

Real and Wright said...

If you love planes, check my newest entry.

The Real Shliach said...

Cheerio: Karduner sings it? Efshar an email?
Jesse: impressive is one thing, but on looks alone...the 747 is a bit ugly. The 777 is too round, the 787 I can't evaluate yet.
le7: I guess it just depends on what you hold to be important in life. If it's applesauce for my kids versus an apple for my lap...
RAW: I did. I didn't get it.

le7 said...

One thing my mother always stressed was priorities...

you've got to show your kids what your values are not just tell me.

Only saying how awesome Apple is and using a PC? You want your kids to think you're a hypocrite?

le7 said...

*Tell them.

The Real Shliach said...

You're right. Starve they might, but a pc in the house? Never!

le7 said...

You're teaching them the value of a dollar! That it's better to initially invest a bit more money but it pays off in the long run.

Dovid said...

Maybe you just set the expectations really low with your preface, but I thought this was neat post TRS, nothing more powerful than nostalgia.

e said...

Can we forget morningspin.com?

The Real Shliach said...

le7: what if you can't afford it in the first place?
Dovid: oh, thanks.
e: you're so right! How could I forget?! Too bad he doesn't have a link to greenmantle up there...

The Real Shliach said...

le7: what if you can't afford it in the first place?
Dovid: oh, thanks.
e: you're so right! How could I forget?! Too bad he doesn't have a link to greenmantle up there...

le7 said...

Then don't have a computer.

le7 said...

If you can't afford cholov yisroel milk then you don't have milk, you don't buy cholov stam!

The Real Shliach said...

Well, maybe my wife will bring one into the marriage.

e said...

"cholov stam" is a euphemism invented by the anti-christ. Ehlicheh yidden refer to it as "cholov akkum" ("milk of those who worship the stars and constellations").

e said...

what's greenmantle?

The Real Shliach said...

It was the name I blogged under on that site.

sarabonne said...

hah! because of that infamous green sweater...

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

cholov stam was a heter invented by Rav Moshe. Isn't Rav Shach the anti christ?

The Real Shliach said...

e+modeh: no way am I getting involved in this one!
Sara: well, I blogged when I was 13 or 14, and I got the sweater when I was 15 or 16...actually, it's the name of a famous WWI novel by John Buchan. Greenmantle was the code name for a new Muslim prophet/messiah.

e said...

so you thought you were the Muslim messiah?

le7 said...

I know that most I know refer to it as cholov akum.

Cut me some slack. A BT accent sounds better saying cholov stam.

sarabonne said...

akum...ah, such a sharp word.
You've been wearing the same sweater for what, 6,7 years?

Modeh B'Miktsas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Anyone who unthinkingly rants against eruvim without knowing a single halacha on Rav Moshe's say-so should be perfectly happy to drink chalav stam.

For those who are spouting propaganda because that is what they heard, here is an explanation of chalav stam:
Background vocabulary--
1-stam: regular
2-akum: worshippers of stars e.g. Angelina Jolie.
3-svara pesky little creature things that come in different shapes and sizes. What sets them apart from Terry Pratchett's swamp dragons is that they are as hard to understand as a teenager thinks he is.
4- FDA the big bad wolf

Chazer over these definitions, and my explanation of chalav stam will come in the next comment

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

The gzeirah of chalav akum is -- according to certain de'os (another mythical beast I forgot to put in the glossary)-- due to gzeirah shema the akum slips some pig milk in. Thus any milk that is not watched by a shomer torah umitzvos from the milking to your mouth is not cholov yisroel but cholov akum. Enter Rav Moshe and a heter for Hershey's. You see the strange climate of America makes it home to a rare breed of those svara critters. The svara is azei (litvish for zoological survey)
1-In America we have dem gummints all over our private affairs including food production.
2-In America everyone's chicken and scared of dem gummints (this is absolutely true. Ask any practicing drug dealer who has practiced both here and overseas)
3-The gummints say if you have milk from a davar acher in your cows milk, you have to tell your customers.
.: There is sufficiently less reason to worry about davar acher byproducts. YAY! Nestle.

The Real Shliach said...

Sara: actually, I've had at least three other sweaters in between. If you really want me to go through this I can.
Modeh: if you really want me to answer all your questions I can, but honestly, right now I'm really not interested.

le7 said...

Hm? Tell me if I'm wrong, (I feel really lazy right now), but there are even supra-halachic reasons for doing things. Including the issue being discussed above.

(You're talking to chassidim((well everyone is trying at least)) here).

sarabonne said...

re:sweaters, you could write a blog about it! Cheerio would be proud...

The Real Shliach said...

le7: correct you are. There are both halachic and spiritual reasons to avoid so-called chalav stam.
Sara: hmm, that's an idea.

Cheerio said...

MBM : there is only one point i'm going to address - you referenced Terry Pratchett in a halachic discussioin! dude, you are my hero!

Jesse said...

Modeh, in todays terms in america we are not worried about the people slipping in pig/horse/camel milk. its the fact that there are cows on the farm that are DA (disesnted adobomin) which requires the cow to have a surgery. as with meat from a cow with a blemish is trief so is its milk.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

TRS: I'm pontificating here. You're supposed to ask me the questions.
le7: There are but I'm not qualified to talk about those. Besides, the svara as a mythical creature does not have even a nefesh behamis and as such has no bearing on spiritual realms
Cheerio: Thanks. Now if your such a huge fan guess the book.
Jesse: Yeah? Then how come a nichnas v'yotzei on the farm isn't good enough? Your problem negates his decision that there is no need for a hechsher but not the fact that there is no need for a mashgiach tmidi.

Jesse said...

its not that there is no need for a mashgiach, there is two reasons where i see, one for spiritual reasons, and the other is to ensure there is no treif milk coming from cows that could be kosher. i dont want to get into a whole debate im just saying when i was working as a mashgiach for a certain milk producer no cows were allowed to be milked that were da. and for me a cow that is da is trief, and i dont want the possibilty of trief milk being mixed in with my kosher milk.
gut shabbos.

le7 said...

Wait Jesse, you're not the one I know??

Jesse said...

yes elishva i am. lol

le7 said...

When did you have time to be a mashgiach?!

Jesse said...

i did it a couple of times for a company in florida

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

According to Rav Belsky DA is not an issue in any way shape or form, and even if it was, the nichnas v'yotzei should take care of it no?

The Real Shliach said...

You want to get your Halacha from a sonei lubavitch, that's your problem, but I don't get how a yotzei v'nichnas will help. Unless the mashgiach has the medical records of every single cow available there, it's a big shailah, especially nowadays, when so many cows have had it done.

Jesse said...

thats why at the place i worked we were machimar, and didnt milk an DA cows.