Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Was it was

First things first...a big huge gigantic super-sized mazel tov to mordechai! Engaged the dear boy is. And my feminine mazel tov? Quite apropos I think. Be that as it may, it was a nice lchaim, and it was nice meeting Tuvia, finding out his significant other was (Just call me) Chaviva, who was also there, but I didn't meet her, because I am of course super frum.

And of course you're all wondering where I've been the last couple of days. Turns out I was in West Hartford, CT, doing what I do best, bringing many Jews closer to their father in heaven and having a great time at it too. It all started on Monday evening with "Purim in Persia-Arabian Nights" at the Konover Center at the University of Hartford, which featured lots of students doing various things. Man, how vague can I get? But seriously, it was nice, if only because lots of students showed up, partook of the free food, danced with us bochurim people to Lipa Schmeltzer's latest hits, and generally had a fabulous time. I feel like I should be advertising a cruise line or something.

Tuesday morning we went to read Megilla by an adult-daycare type-place and then headed over to the Gengras Student Union to distribute Shalach Manos. Most of the students were happy to take one, and most of them were also confused by my demanding it back immediately. Then I gave it back to them. Then they slowly backed off and wondered if I was sane. If only they knew...Yes folks, this is your religion!

So one of the students hurrying by responded to my "Excuse me kind sir, are you by any chance Jewish?" with, "No thanks, I'm straight."

Another time I threw a shalach manos at a Jewish guy, then three more for his roommates, and then some kid in the front of the union asked me throw him also. I obliged, and immediately regretted my acquiescence when a girl in the back of the room wanted the same (thrown shalach manos, that is). I said something about her coming over and getting it herself, and felt bad doing it, but I also realized that it would be sheer lunacy to throw packages at people, because who knows where it might end? What if Walt, the university president, would come in and personally respond to my throwing of shalach manos at his students by throwing me off campus?

Then I got into a little spat with some girls who didn't seem to get that I was there for the Jewish population. Oh yeah, it was Jewish girls making me problems. Of course. You know, if I was blogging for they'd probably excise the previous couple sentences, but hey, that's what life is all about. It is? Yes, it is.

Oh right. I asked these two girls if they were Jewish, and they said that they weren't. I was about to wish them a pleasant afternoon when a Jewish girl twenty feet away said, "Who cares if they're Jewish or not?" I responded that in fact I did; I was spending my Purim at the University of Hartford for the local Jewish population, but she wasn't too impressed. "Who cares if they're Jewish or not? Can't you give to everyone?" I explained that my goal was not to give free food to the hordes (though such a course of action would undoubtedly have been popular) but instead to help as many Jews as possible fulfill the Mitzva of Mishloach Manos. Still my adversary refused to graciously concede defeat, saying, "But you're discriminating!" If I wasn't G-d's personal representative on planet earth I would have told her, "That's right!", but my words are not my own, and instead I brought her a mashal (recall this was all taking place across a great divide, physically, mentally, emotionally, religiously, etc): "Would it be acceptable for a man to use a woman's rest room or vice-versa? Absolutely not! And would this be termed discrimination? Absolutely not!" She muttered "Humph" and lessened my joy of victory by telling someone else, "You know, these guys are going to give Chabad a bad name."

That reminds me. I was by a shliach for shabbos and his brother regaled me with tales of Rabbi Heller's reasonings (just wait till I get to kollel) including the delicate matter of telling people the truth on shlichus. You know what I mean? Good. I'm worried that I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut, and that I wouldn't be able to lie through my teeth for a couple of dollars. Still, money can work wonders...

And anything else in CT? Of course. A grand Purim International at Agudas Achim Synagogue, cosponsored by by Agudas, Beth David, Young Israel, and of course Chabad. It was really nice to see four shuls get together and make a Purim party together. Quite inspiring, no? Even more inspiring was my participation in a magic show onstage (after enough liquid courage of course) prompted by the request for a "man with a ring". Do I have a ring? Of course not. Did I get one from someone or other? As they would say in Minnesota, "You betcha!" Did I make a fool of myself? Probably. Was I beyond caring at that point? Yup. Besides, who was I trying to impress? No one.

And now you find me in CH, for Mordechai's lchaim, Avremel Rimler's wedding (mazel tov to you too!) and laundry. Laundry is very important. And I'll be spending Shabbos in Morristown for the first time in a long time. Should be interesting.


Crawling Axe said...

We contemplated yesterday putting a sign “For Jews only”.

All the Jews were trying to walk around the table, avoiding locking glances, etc. All the goyim were interested. Especially the little Black ladies — very interested in the whole “Redemptio is near” (and what it had to do with the triangular cookies).

The Real Shliach said...

Sounds vaguely messianic. Our Safed brethren would be proud.

Crawling Axe said...

Hmm. Mentioned Messianic era tonight. Nervous glances. Lips licked.

The Real Shliach said...

Should've used lip balm.

Crawling Axe said...

I was using tea. Kept coughing.

Tuvia said...

It was great to meet you as well.

Strange how we meet in Crown Heights the day after you were in my neck of the woods.

The president of Universit of Hartford is actually Jewish and very involved with Jewish stuff on campus. Every year he not only would lead the first Passover Sedar, but he would also provide all the wine and everything for it.

I also really wanted to go to that Purim party at Agudas Achim, but unfortunately I wasn't able to make it. I guess would could have crossed paths quite a few times this week.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

You have to deal with those girls on Purim. I have to every single day and I even have to be polite to them because some of them have the power to flunk me. I hope you enjoyed your stint as God's personal representative on earth.

As an aside, I hold that bochurim should not read the megilla because it interferes with our drinking. Unfortunately my mother holds differently and I had the great zchus of laining for a couple of older women types (and my younger sister) who kept interrupting every time they heard a word that sounded like a relative's name.

The Real Shliach said...

Tuvia: Well, yeah, strange thing life is. (I can't think of a more intelligent response). But it was really nice meeting you.

Modeh: girls: ha!
flunking: double ha!
megilla: Well, the first reading is fine, you can't drink before then anyway. And afterwords, it merely improves the rendition!
older women types: (giving you a chance to chap a quick lchaim.

Chaviva said...

You know, maybe you should seek a position at Lambert's, the "Home of the Thrown Roll," in Oklahoma. :)

Also, I'd wanted to go to the event at Agudas Achim, but Tuvia is way too busy and I don't have a car. Bollocks! Glad to hear it was a good time.

And too bad we didn't meet. But, you know, you're super frum!

le7 said...

Sounds like a fulfilling break from the blogger veldt if I may say so myself. :-)

The Real Shliach said...

Chaviva: I should do what?

le7: in more ways than one.

sarabonne said...

Hah, I went to both those simchas, plus a third of some girl my friend knows...gosh they pile up fast.
Re. the girlies, its the same stitch in my class. The goyim love hearing about my lifestyle and the Jews just avoid me altogether.

le7 said...

Same here! The nit yidden actually like to hear me talk about myself. They think my life is so fascinating and my drama hilarious...

The Real Shliach said...

Sara: BH.
le7: I wonder if e has anything to add to the conversation.

Mottel said...

Thank you for sharing your excitement in my joy, and coming!
All the best to you (May you want the right things, and may hashem give you everything you want)!