Saturday, May 16, 2009

The baseball

I have a problem with the song "Ninth Man on the Team" by Abie Rotenberg. Actually, I have several problems.

1. All we'd like to do all day, was sit and watch our TV sets, we'd talk about the Yankees, the Dodgers and the Mets.

Why are people in New York talking about the Los Angeles Dodgers? Especially once the New York Mets have come into town.

All right, this isn't a real problem, it just irks me a little. The following though...

2. Our catcher went and broke his leg while sliding into third, "It's a forfeit!" cried the other team, "you've only got eight guys!" "No we don't," a deep voice said, much to our surprise, "Since I am their Rebbe, well the fair thing it would seem, would be to let me be the ninth man, the ninth man on the team.

What the heck is wrong with this rebbe? His student breaks his leg, and all the rebbe can do is volunteer to play baseball? How about calling an ambulance? And even if you want to taana that they called an ambulance, he sent the kid off alone? The irresponsibility is shocking.

3. Rebbe went up to bat, faced the pitcher with a smile

How did the Rebbe get to bat now? If he's replacing the kid who just went and broke his leg, he should either be on the bench (if the kid was out) or on third base. What's he doing batting? Don't tell me there was a double-switch, because of course there was only nine men total. And don't tell me that the Rebbe's at bat came the next time the catcher was supposed to bat, because it's mashmah from the song that the Rebbe came up to bat right away.

The only solution I've been able to come up with is that the Rebbe switched with the next kid in the lineup, and the catcher stayed at third base, broken leg and all, and crawled home when the Rebbe hit the game winning home run.

35 comments:

le7 said...

Those are the only problems you've found with that song?

It is cute though...

e said...

TRS: Back in the day, they were the Brooklyn Dodgers. Any old Brooklynite will wax hysterical how the Dodgers abandoned Brooklyn.

I have a similar problem with the Yom Tov Ehrlich song "Yakuv." First he tells us that Yakuv's little village "sees no train / one travels there / and from there / with an airplane."

Later how ponders "How wondrous / the Russian train / cast him to Uzbekistan."

So did he come by train or by plane?

Perhaps we can say that the train took him to Uzbekistan, but he needed a plane to get to the little village.

e said...

the "nusach hamekubal" is pease "porridge." V'yesh gorsim "pottage." But pudding is "chadashim mikerev ba'u."

Nemo said...

Dude, this is before the blog age when it was still highly appropriate for Rebbie's to abuse their talmidim.

Also, there's a bigger question to be asked ... if this is the last inning and it's hit or lose, why do they really care if there's a ninth man on the team? Seriously, since when is there a nine man requirement for batting? Who cares if you drop one position from the batting order ... it's not like you're going to have to field another inning. Or maybe you would if it only ties up, but still, the song isn't about the rebbie covering right field.

sarabonne said...

Hm, never followed baseball or songs relating to it. Shame, I see I've missed out.

mendy. said...

based on you conclusion for problem 3 you would now have 10 people on the team not 9. and with regard to problem 2, where is your Don Lekav Zechus? perhaps there was a rebbe plus a chaperone and the chaperone took the kid to the hospital?

mendy. said...

oh, and if (according to your logig of you answer to problem 3 that the kid stayed curled up and bleeding to death at third base), why did the rebbe wait till now to show up? but according to the lyrics of the song it's a forfeit cried the other team, you only got 8 guys, the injured boy was indeed taken away.

The Real Shliach said...

le7: you've found more?

e: that's exactly my point. Once the dodgers leave Brooklyn for LA, why is anyone paying attention to them? Particularly once the National League comes back with the Mets.

Nemo: you think any self-respecting baseball man would countenance playing with only eight men in the line-up card?

Sara: obviously.

Mendy: no, the Rebbe replaces the guy after the catcher in the batting order. There's still only nine.

Your answer to #2 is not mashmah in the song.

Obviously the other team thought it was a forfeit! They didn't realize that in fact the kid was going to tough it out (which inidentally sort of answers the second question) and stay in there until the fat lady would sing.

The only problem we have now is, why did the rebbe have to join the game in the first place? After all, according to my answer, you anyways had nine guys!

itunes said...

Two problems with your post.

1) You are ruining Abie's mystique and you know I love Abie.

2)Now that line is stuck in my head...and I can't remove it, darn you.

Solution: end to sefira!

le7 said...

I'm sure there are if I listened more closely.

Altie said...

lol seriously? pulling apart a song? nothing better to do?

Why not just enjoy the lyrics, take them as they are.

The Real Shliach said...

iTunes: 1. I love abie too.
2. Which line? Believe you me, there's much better abie songs to get stuck in your head than this one.

le7: we're waiting.

Altie: I was waiting for you to comment on TRS! Seriously though, it's a pity that after a solid week of farbies you have to read this toichenless post. Nu nu.

Dovid said...

1. Some of the students were from LA but they were dorming, so they were dodgers fans.

2/3. Tiuvta deRotenberg tiuvta

Yehuda said...

such confusion! 3 Days of walk off losses can do this to a fan.

Nemo: the team absolutely cannot play with 8 guys. If a player gets into the batters box out of order, it is an automatic out.

I personally believe the answer is that he came up a few innnigs later, mashmaus be dammed. However, keep in mind that Abie, awesome as he is, is a Canadian. He may have decided to do to baseball what they did to football and alter some rules.

The Real Shliach said...

Dovid: 1. A bunch of sixth graders are dorming?

Yehuda: oh, the suffering, and painful times...

Which is fine, but then you're saying that the rebbe abandoned this poor kid.

Dovid said...

yes, at least one

The Real Shliach said...

and you got this from where? It's b'feirush in the song, the bums from the east side!

Dovid said...

rovum kekulum, the songs not gonna say, the bums from the east side plus the one caliornia bum

The Real Shliach said...

Skeptical I remain.

Altie said...

Sorry about that, TRS. And I've noticed you just started commenting on my blog. Nice.

Farbrengins...boggle me. You're right, they have more toichen then this, but sometimes it's easier to read the toichenless stuff and comment on it, because it doesn't take much brain power.

The Real Shliach said...

Yeah, I'm big into the "you scratch my back I'll scratch yours" thing.

Very true. In fact, if you read the comments on most farbrengens, you'll find the same thing is true by most people. Generally they'll say "nice" or something like that. It's much easier to comment (criticize) when what's written isn't being vouched for as G-d's Truth.

Dovid said...

nice

sarabonne said...

Cheers to that.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

I find it hard for the opposite reason: I can criticize just fine but I don't know where to start, there's so much to say.

The Real Shliach said...

Start with point A and continue on from there. If you had any ahavas yisroel you wouldn't hesitate for a moment.

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Explain why it takes ahavas yisroel to tear up another yid's shita in avodas hashem.

The Real Shliach said...

Shita in Avodas Hashem? Are we not truth seekers?!

e said...

no we are not. We are vindication seekers.

The Real Shliach said...

Ahh, yes, that sounds about right.

e said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Real Shliach said...

What did that poor comment ever do to get removed so summarily?

e said...

I messed up the hyperlink

The Real Shliach said...

Tell I could, but it was still a good link.

Cheerio said...

i've missed blogging, and reading this post and the comments reminds me why i'm back...

The Real Shliach said...

And better than ever!