Sunday, May 10, 2009

Traumatize this!

As far as memory serves, Little Red Riding Hood ended up being eaten by the big bad wolf. Or maybe she was threatened by the wolf, but then she was saved by the hunter? I really don't recall. Either way, she probably didn't have such a wonderful life. Either she's slowly being digested by a large carnivorous beast, or she probably ends up marrying some guy who's thirty years older than she is. Ok, twenty.

Cinderella was also an interesting person. At least she got to live happily ever after. That must be nice to know that things are going to be happy ever after. More typical is that someone thinks they'll be happy forever, and they don't realize that real life ain't like that for six months or something. Or else they go into it knowing that all they have to look forward to is a veil of tears. Which is worse, to be happily deluded for a short period of time, only to have those hopes cruelly dashed on the monstrous boulders of reality, or to go in with no idealism, no hope, no dream of a better future, but also no crushing defeat at the opening of the shaded eyes? It's a good question, no?

This brings us to the fascinating story of Hansel and Gretel. The real question is, who is to blame, their father or step-mother? Or maybe their real mother, the witch? After all, if she hadn't divorced their father, or refused custody of the children, she would never have had to lure them into her forest hideout and try out some major Jerusalem mother behaviour. All right, so the facts I've presented to you here
don't fit the sorry? Isn't that what being a member of the media is all about?

Snow White had issues too. Often people don't understand how difficult it must have been to live with seven dwarfs. Not only was their house probably way too small for her, but you have to remember that some of them had major personality issues. Truth be told, they probably all did. Narcolepsy is a personality issue, no? So is narcissism.

Sleeping Beauty also had her strong points. I'm not quite sure what they were, but she certainly had them. I mean, no one I know has ever been kisssed by a prince. Truth be told, I really don't ever want to be kissed by a prince. Do you?

18 comments:

sarabonne said...

Don't forget The Little Mermaid.

le7 said...

Nah, not by a prince, only by a [edited for content].

Crawling Axe said...

Which is worse, to be happily deluded for a short period of time, only to have those hopes cruelly dashed on the monstrous boulders of reality, or to go in with no idealism, no hope, no dream of a better future, but also no crushing defeat at the opening of the shaded eyes. It's a good question, no?It would be a good question, had it been a question. Which currently it is not, being a statement.

Crawling Axe said...

A better question is: is it pas nist to read little Yiddishke kinderlach German folk tales? What about Russian ones?

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

le7: did you edit for content or TRS?
CA:Russian ones area much worse. and it is formulated as a question but for one measly punctuation error.

le7 said...

I did.

Crawling Axe said...

Why? Because they touch etzem of neshama like Classical music?

The Real Shliach said...

Sara: I don't hold of Danes (or was he Swedish?)

le7: a wicked, wicked man, and haman was his name sir!

CA: happy now?

(on second thought...are you ever happy?)

e said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politically_Correct_Bedtime_Stories

le7 said...

I remember my mommy reading that as a child...

e said...

You're mom read "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories" to you?

Crawling Axe said...

I don’t think she’s a mom yet.

e said...

ulita'ameich, the sentence makes even less sense.

Crawling Axe said...

It’s a bit awkward, but you can deal with it. Like “[Are you] a giraffe [who had an] omelet with bananas fed to you?”

e said...

Adding in the words "a" and "who" before and after "mom" is not "dealing with it."

le7 said...

My mother did not read it to me, she read it to herself, and I picked it up to read myself thinking it was fairy tales.

sarabonne said...

Haha, I also read that as a kid...

The Real Shliach said...

I merely read some pop psychology book explaining fairy tales and got traumatized for life (hence the title).