Monday, August 11, 2008

Georgian lamentations

It was really nice having Eliezer's guest post yesterday for a couple of reasons: first of all, because it was interesting, and second of all, because it meant that I didn't have to post anything myself. Well, the time has now come for me to once again assume the mantle of writership and begin the arduous journey that is the crafting of a vintage TRS. As I was taking the subway today I was contemplating the different types of blogs that I frequent. Some of them are newsy; some are funny; some are serious; and some are just plain weird. I then began to muse about my own humble contribution to the blogosphere, and thought about the different styles of blog in this wonderful little world of ours. After much thought (the distance between Nostrand and Franklin on the 3), I realized that my strongest form of writing is not the emotionally charged, heart-wrenching, and gut tossing shtuff in which many female bloggers seem to excel. No, the path I take is the strong, silent, manly path, reserved for those of us who are too scared to look inside our innermost psyches and see the truth inside. If anyone's keeping score at home, and why should you not, there ain't too much truth in the innermost psyche; indeed there ain't too much of anything. Indeed, as far as I can tell , all you got in there is some basic desire for pizza and the pursuit of happiness.
My point in all this is merely to express that when I experience deep emotion when passing by Atlantic Avenue, or even Dekalb, you shouldn't expect to find any of it showing up here on TRS. By the by, from Utica to Wall Street I had the entire car to myself. Make of that what you will.
Getting back to slightly more solid ground, this would explain why my "End of MS" post was such a bust; telling stories I like, and Halacha too, but when I try to write all soppy my fingers type as if spread with goo. Did I mention that I'm a big fan of obscenely-bad poetry? Now you know.

In other news, Georgia is currently being mauled by the Soviets. Do you know what you can do to help? I don't either. Still, I'm sure they'll be happy to know that I fully support their cause and hope that in good time the commissars will allow everyone to vote for the party in the upcoming elections-remember, if you don't vote, you get shot, so have fun!

60 comments:

e said...

In the first sentence you made a semicolon do a colon's job. Shame on you. Do you know that semicolon's are probably the least understood of all punctuation marks? How would you feel if you were that poor semicolon, trying to keep together to halves a sentence, all the while thinking that it's really the job for your brother the colon? And why is Mr. colon off duty? Because old TRS could not be bothered to hit shift and properly direct the line of duty.

The Real Shliach said...

You know, this semicolon thing is getting slightly, how should I put it, obsessive? Some Jews do Kosher, other do communism; Eliezer does...semicolons.

e said...

"Some of them are newsy, some are funny, some are serious, and some are just plain weird."

And these poor commas! While they're meant to be separating introductory clauses from the subject, noting the difference between coordinate and cumulative adjectives, and a host of other intra-sentence jobs, they're stuck holding together a bunch of independent clauses, who'd rather be separate and equal, their respective territories clearly marked with periods and capital letters. The big guns (i.e. the semicolons) who can superglue this unruly bunch together are nowhere to be seen. The poor commas struggle endlessly, waiting for TRS to end their misery and bring them to peaceful non-existence with a quick deletion.

e said...

Since reading Lynn Truss' description of the period as the pappa, the comma as the mamma, the question mark as the well-behaved older sister who sits and practices piano, and the exclamation mark as the hyperactive younger brother, I have seen punctuation marks as people. They are the sociable second cousins of those white lab coated professors, the mathematical symbols.

e said...

Your comment included more comma abuse.

BTW, I just proofread a bunch of stuff, and all I did was fix commas, semicolons, and colons, so I'm in that kind of mood.

The Real Shliach said...

So I have to suffer?

Nemo said...

E, why you b'in all NRF about this grammar stuff (shtuff)?

The Real Shliach said...

Nemo, some people blog; some people take dope; some people shoot other people; Eliezer punctuates.

Nemo said...

Eliezer is a wanna-be, sellout to Truss.

Eliezer, go find a real hobby!

Nemo said...

Oh, btw, punctuation ... not grammar. My bad.

Nemo said...

And also:

Eliezer is a wanna-be; a sellout to Truss.

... G-sh, it's going suck to comment here if this keeps up.

wannabeshadchanit said...

i hope all of you are single; your communication skills are horrendous

(find a fault with that little semicolon, if you will. its joining two clauses. whether the second one is independent or dependent remains to be seen. unfortunately, my grammar-teaching friend is out of town).

some pointers:

before you criticize, say something nice. that'll make the poster (in this case, trs) let down his guard.

then *WHAM* criticize

study that. there'll be a test on it before i set you up.

trs, i once had the car all to myself. i was wondering the same thing, until my olfactory nodules (nose, for laymen) started twitching.

(note: i've never actually twitched my nose. i can only move the parts of my face around the nose. am i the only one?)

turns out that the bundle of rags that someone had left on the row of seats opposite me were alive...breathing...snoring...and stinking. needless to say, i made a swift exit at the next station.

not to insinuate anything. just sharing:-D

The Real Shliach said...

My dear wannabeshadchanit, are you single? Married? Flirting with a bunch of guys who have better things to do than comment obsessively on blogs all day but do so nonetheless?
So, um, what's wrong with our communication skills? I think that you don't quite understand the male psyche. When men criticize, the goal is not improvement of the other; the goal is to make the other feel bad.
Nose muscles: How can I have a Shadchanit who doesn't have control over every facet of her existence? Listen, it takes practice, but the reward will be well-worth the effort.
Insinuations: Glad to hear that you're not trying to insinuate anything. Anyway, how do you know that the guy wasn't offended by your scent? Personally, I'm annoyed by females who wear too much perfume and those who use really-strong smelling shampoo.

Nemo said...

Besides hurting people's feelings, don't forget that we also criticize for self-righteousness, vindication and just sticking it to whomever we feel is a moron today.

Nemo said...

Geez, you're right, Eliezer has been awfully quiet today ...

e said...

Eliezer has been quiet today because he's been busy making money. A singularly enjoyable experience. Y'all ought to try it. (Pardon my snootiness. In real life I'm a bigger kratzer than any of you.)

Nemo, you made a complete fool of yourself, as I shall proceed to demonstrate.
Blogger Nemo said...

Eliezer is a wanna-be, sellout to Truss.

Eliezer, go find a real hobby!

August 12, 2008 2:06 AM
Blogger Nemo said...

Oh, btw, punctuation ... not grammar. My bad.

August 12, 2008 2:09 AM
Blogger Nemo said...

And also:

Eliezer is a wanna-be; a sellout to Truss.

... G-sh, it's going suck to comment here if this keeps up.

August 12, 2008 2:15 AM
Lol. You had it right the first time, with the commas.

Here's my view of the punctuation: Periods, commas, exclamation marks and question marks are the basic signs which one uses regularly (the standard mom, dad, sis, and bro kanal). A little misuse is only to be expected with such commonly used punctuation marks. Colons and semicolons are the presumptuous punctuation marks. If you're gonna use 'em, do it right. As many anti-semicolon activists will tell you, one (almost) never *needs* to use a semicolon. The same for colons. If you aren't structuring you sentences high falutin'ly, you'll never need a colon (except to introduce a list).

Anyhow, my general policy is to point out errors in posts but not in comments. I feel that comments are less serious and a little punctuation abuse is normal. Of course, I can change my practice if y'all want to get educated...

e said...

Wannabeshadchanit, welcome to TRS!

Nemo said...

Eliezer- Look, I'm not going to highfalutin you with punctuation stuff - after all, punctuation was meant to be intuited, not ruled upon - but I will point out that you're wrong and you're a moron.

A comma in the sentence would imply that both words are acting on the "to Truss" when they, in fact, have two separate meanings.

To test it, you can stick the word 'and' into the break in clauses. If it makes sense, then it requires a comma. If not a different sentence break is required ( . ; : ).

Now, let's analyze:

Eliezer is a wanna-be and sellout to Truss.

Can you be a wanna-be TO someone?

I don't think so ...

Go bury your head in the sand somewhere - moron.

The Real Shliach said...

Ooh, they're getting feisty. Hope Eliezer breaks out his trusty sidekicks for this battle.

e said...

Apparently I misunderstood what you wanted to say. Well friends, this is example of how important punctuation is. If Nemo would not have replaced the comma with a semicolon, I would have always thought he meant something else. Yep, that semicolon really clarifies the meaning. (I apologize for my moronity in lichatchila not realizing what Nemo was saying.)

Morgue worker said...

All the sidekicks are dead and buried. One of them, who took Nemo a wee bit too seriously, actually died from clogging his throat with sand.

Nemo said...

All's well that ends well.

The Moron said...

Nemo, I thought you were getting ready for a big fight.

Nemo said...

I thought you were going to fight ...

e said...

In a fight, one does what his opponent doesn't want. Hence, I neutralized the hostilities. Lol.

The Real Shliach said...

No fight=boring.

e said...

Indeed, I destroyed my opposition so quickly, there was no time to watch the blood drip out.

Nemo said...

The only thing dripping is spicy wing sauce from Dougie's. Mmm, mmm, good!

The Real Shliach said...

Dougies? You mean the place with hair in all the food?

Nemo said...

The place?

You make it like it's not at every Kosher restaurant.

Cheerio said...

the world revolves around me! the world revolves around me! in which case, "the emotionally charged, heart-wrenching, and gut tossing shtuff in which many female bloggers seem to excel" definitely refers to ME!!
so excited.
and trs - reaction to meeting your fellow blogger? i mean, he devotes an post to YOU and all he gets is a measly reference in a comment on an old post?!?! where's the love?

The Real Shliach said...

Cheerio, I was referring to a lot of female bloggers, though of course you do have a prominent place in the field.
And of course, Bishvilcha Niveres Haolam.
Also, I would love to blog, but A. I was taking care of two of my nieces all day, and B. I have to respond to all these other comments. I simply haven't yet had the time!

Nemo said...

BishviLACH

Nemo said...

Or maybe it's BishviLECH

The Real Shliach said...

I always stank at Hebrew grammar.

wannabeshadchanit said...

am i the only one who missed the fact that trs was babysitting. BABYSITTING?!? good for you.

so when can you come babysit for me?

The Real Shliach said...

I only babysit for nieces (so far). Today I flew for three hours with my sister and two nieces. I feel like Job.
Anyway, if your kids become my nieces...

Cheerio said...

wow. flying with them. that's dedication. my month of nephew care seems like nothing in comparison with your sacrifice!

also, thank you for the recognition. and the comments. am i always going to have to solicit them?

The Real Shliach said...

We're probably equal...What's just as embarrassing as two screaming nieces on an early morning flight is the knowledge that everyone thinks that the woman I'm traveling with is my wife...Once I went with her to a store to take care of her wedding gift registry, and after we had stated our business the guy said, "Congratulations!" He was a bit taken aback when I said that we were siblings...

Your welcome. If you send me an email notification every time you post, which is easy to set up in blogger, than I promise to comment every single time.

Cheerio said...

i get that with my younger brother all the time. doesn't help that he's nearly six feet and takes after the other side of the family!
hmm, i was just about to reveal some embarrassingly personal information, but reconsidered.
and if you're interested enough to be emailed, then that can be arranged!

The Real Shliach said...

Of course I'm interested! Email away!

Cheerio said...

aww, see, NOW my ego was boosted.

Nemo said...

Do I sense a "cyber-relationship" blossoming?

It all starts with an email ... before you know it, you'll be stocking shelves together in a rabbinically condemned store on Kingston.

The Real Shliach said...

As Marvin would hate to hear a door say, "Glad to be of service."

Cheerio said...

entirely did not comprehend trs's last statement. am not sure was meant to.
nemo - we never had an email! (did we?) and if you ever catch me stocking shelves in a rabbinically condemned store on kingston, please put me out of my misery!

The Real Shliach said...

Nemo: well, let's just say that if TP was around he'd be having a field day.
Cheerio: Ditto.

Nemo said...

Che- True. Let it be known for the record, I have never emailed or Facebooked you.

To the point that I'd have to go search your profile to find your address.

wannabeshadchanit said...

trs, do yourself a favor and dont take any relationship (friendship or otherwise, *wink*) to email.

at least when you're talking on the comment section, you're going to be careful, because you know that others are reading it...and it wont go past that "limit" of yours, especially when you have people who you know and respect (hmm....okay, people who you know) reading it

trust me on this one

like they say, if only our fear of heaven would be as great as our fear of man (or as nemo would say, would but our trepidation of heaven be on par to the trepidation of our fellow homo-sapiens)

how's that for mature, motherly advice
(cough, cough, that teenager comment about me didnt escape my notice)

Nemo said...

Why is it that people think they need only have a kid or two and they can already give "motherly advice?"

... and think it's ok to put words in other peoples mouths?

wannabeshadchanit said...

a)that's not called a logical response. that's called a personal attack-does that mean you dont disagree?
b)yes. all the time. sometimes the papers fall out, though

Nemo said...

Who said a so-called logical response was necessary? There have been lots of things said in the past few days on this blog and my own that I didn't agree with, which I refrained from arguing with.

For a few good reasons:

A) Laziness

B) Don't really want to get involved in long-winded arguments these days

C) Why take sides in arguments that weren't mine

D) Not in every case, but in some situations I deemed the arguer not to be intellectually capable of understanding my point of view

E) I can tell it's going to end with one of those annoying agree-to-disagree situations

F) People are often unable to discern the finer points of issues, which causes them to pit themselves against you in more general, fundamental points

G) I tend to be misunderstood by others

H) Some of the arguments posed were logically unsettling, non sequitor; but the constituency of arguers tend not to understand those sort of logical fallacies

I) I have been busy moving and working out the final days of this Brooklyn life of mine.

J) A lot of the arguments are pretty humdrum, had, everyday and disinteresting.

K) Just because you can argue with something, you're not obliged to argue. The internet affords us the prerogative of answering if and when we please.

L) Sometimes the best argument is no argument at all

Nemo said...

(F) should read: pit you against them

Anonymous said...

Nemo, please see my response on the your blog. And as I know you personally, I suppose I can accept some of it as the truth, not just haughtiness.

Oh, and this is a one-time deal, because I'm not subscribing to a comment section of a blog I don't read, but in reference to the grammar and punctuation comments above…

Eliezer, you proofread a bunch of stuff, and only picked on those? In my not-so-limited experience, there's almost always a smart quotes issue to deal with; you'll never find a writing of any considerable length without spacing issues; if you're dealing with Hebrew transliterations you're almost guaranteed to find inconsistencies, etc. etc.

It's not uncommon to overlook one thing because of an obsession with another. It's also weird to be particularly harsh on semicolons because their use is ambiguous. There is no real standard on their use, with famous books having one guide and the AP and Reuters style guides each having their own.

Just thought I'd throw that out there.

(Oh, and the ellipses…)

Nemo said...

It's anachronistic to use two spaces after sentences. One is usually the rule.

e said...

Nemo,
It seems that you're joining my crusade against misuse of punctuation and sloppy writing. Welcome to the club!

e said...

Some people were insinuating that I have thing for Cheerio because I only show up when she's around. Hello? Should I show up when she's not around? Do you need a tzniut patrol when there's only guys? S'iz duch b'feirush a gemara as "loy nechshadu yisroel al ha zachar v'al habeheimah!" (Fundestvegn, in nitei gavriel hilchos yichud, s'iz faran a gantzeh perek vegen yichud zechorim. Ich mein as afillu Harav Zinner ken nisht shafn kein chumros vegn yichud mit beheimos. Ober ver veis? Efsher in dem neiym oysgabeh s'vet yeah zein...

If you can't be bothered to strain your eyes (or perhaps your linguistic skills) by reading my Yiddish, oh well, you've just missed a piece of genius which could have helped you understand people a lot better.

e said...

DAMN!!!
Busted again!

Nemo said...

"oysgabeh?"

Nemo said...

Ask Tzinner to Pasken the laws of blogging ...

He seems to have a good time with this "contemporary" stuff.

Leo Rosten said...

Oysgabeh=edition or printing. This is related to the word "oysgebn" which means to print or publish