Sunday, August 3, 2008

The prelude...

Sometimes something happens that changes everything and results in platitudes that would make Barack Obama himself weep as he finally came to acknowledge the truth of this, that, the other thing, and an additional five vector-based existentially challenged concepts which I'm really not too interested in bringing up at this juncture in the time-space continuum. I refer of course to my most excellent day on Merkos Shlichus. I'm not saying that this today was the best day of MS. Rather it was, like all the days before it, a most excellent day.
"Why?" you have the temerity to inquire? Fear not, your thirst will soon be quenched, the parched deserts of ignorance misted over by the cool cloud of knowledge, the barren wasteland of of Cleveland, Ohio made infinitely more pleasurable by a plane flight to just about anywhere else. This my friends, is what they meant when they said that they couldn't stand pronouns getting abused by crack Chinese espionage teams whose sole mission in life was to promote Chairman Mao, Yao Ming, and the death of that all-American symbol of opulence, greed, and mistimed adventure on the wild and woolly side, Boeing Aircraft Company. This has all been compounded by the singular lack of accountability which has been evinced by some of the most powerful people in the world lately, like the Bush administration, Joe Mauer's psychiatrist, and the guy at Ivory Soap who's responsible for the impurity shtuff that's going on there. All this talk has lead some to the conclusion that in fact Nietzsche is dead, but this was conclusively proved to be false by simply showing a picture of his coffin with his pet feline curved comfortably on top, drinking a Coca Cola Classic always the real thing with the abandon normally reminiscent of a fatally femme'd femme, but in this case more closely comparable to the ivory towers which were recently sublet to the Obama campaign for the duration of the Messiah's unnatural life time. If anyone has any questions about anything I've just written, please feel free to drop me a note or six.

22 comments:

Eliezer said...

WTF? Are you schizophrenic?

The Real Shliach said...

Who, me? What's the issue exactly?

Cheerio said...

ooh that was fun, but now my brain is a little bit dizzy. kinda like going on the tilt-a-whirls a bit too long.

The Real Shliach said...

Cheerio, sometimes I work (relatively) really (ok, not so really) hard (again, not that much effort was put into producing this) to make what I consider to be a sublime post, and no one appreciates it. And then you come along...Must have been from reading Douglas Adams, huh?

Cheerio said...

indeed ;)
which actually brings me to a question i've been meaning to ask you:
ever heard of terry pratchett?

The Real Shliach said...

Not until you mentioned him.

Cheerio said...

i am not going to make any assumptions here, and despite past references, i will preface my recomendation with "if you don't read secular literature, feel free to ignore this entire comment", but if you hadn't heard of terry pratchett before i mentioned him, i'm going to recommend that you read every single thing he's written

The Real Shliach said...

Funny, but I've actually penciled Charles Lutwidge Dodgson in for the next few weeks of reading. Terry I'll try and get to, but with the pressures of maintaining this blog...

Cheerio said...

so you're going to be going down the rabbit hole and through the looking glass, are you?
i suggest hanging out on a disc shaped planet resting on the backs of four elephants standing on the shell of a giant tortoise floating through space.
it might prove enlightening. at the very least, it should be entertaining.

The Real Shliach said...

I will try it. BTW, it would be easier to have these semi-conversations if you commented more than once every 4 days. Stam.

Cheerio said...

ah, but unlike you fine gentlemen, i actually have a life (one consisting solely of pleasing my 19 month old nephew, but a life nonetheless!), which severely restricts my online communications, as my nephew becomes severely displeased when the computer is on and "Itchekadoozy" isn't.
if you ever should find yourself in dire need of contacting me, try commenting on one of MY blogs. the shock itself would surely garner my attention.

The Real Shliach said...

Ouch. Maybe if you posted more often, and on shtuff that I could comment on.

Cheerio said...

ah, direct hit!
to my eternal shame, what you have said is indeed the case, and i am hereby accepting it as my lot in (blogging)life to improve these two aspects!

Cheerio said...

unfortunately, when it comes to 'shtuff' you could comment on, i find myself stunned by your brilliance, and entirely unable to concieve of a post that even remotely approaches your comedic genius. but i shall just have to keep a stiff upper lip, and give it my best shot!

The Real Shliach said...

Don't accept it as your lot, accept it as a challenge!

Don't flatter me. Just write a nice story, not too sappy, and I'm sure I'll find plenty of holes in it to shoot bullets through.

Cheerio said...

one nice, only slightly sappy story coming right up!

The Real Shliach said...

I can't wait!

LE7 said...

A rabbi-dude here told me to read Terry Pratchett.

As if.

Like I would have time for such shtuss?

Puh-leeze.

The Real Shliach said...

Which rabbi dude?

LE7 said...

You don't know of him. R. Kittner brought out a long time ago for the... and not anymore... and doesn't.

I'll tell you later.

The Real Shliach said...

I'll hold you to that.

LE7 said...

Just remind me.