Friday, August 28, 2009

Free associations... (slightly expurgated for content)

April 8, 2002

I am free writing right now, isn’t that wonderful and exciting. I know that you think it is wonderful and exciting also, otherwise you would not be reading this wonderful product of not so raving insanity. Okay? Got that? Well then, that is absolutely wonderful, if you get my drift. I certainly get my drift, though that is probably to be expected as most drifts drift in and out regardless of the consequences of drifting. That is a good kind of drift. A bad kind of drift is the kind of drift that leads to any drifting that the original drifter did not intend for the drifter to get, if you get my meaning.

Life is Beautiful is a movie and I saw it with B.J. over two years ago. My feet stuck to the floor as we entered the theater and I remember thinking of a story someone once told me about rats in the Har Mar movie theaters. I used to raise rats for money when I was in junior high. The one that was my favorite smelled a bit like dry corn kernels and was able to walk a tight rope from one end of my room to the other. Nerf grew a tumor in her second year and had to be put to sleep. I wonder if the vet actually put her to sleep or if they just took her in the back and drowned her-- it would be a good way to save money, and after all, she was only a rat.

Diagonally is the way my horizontal blinds cut the light off in the living room as it shoots through the window at the end of the day. The blinds leave a diagonal shadow upon the living room wall which casts a weird dark look upon the portrait of Chuck Close that happens to be hanging there. Chuck Close was always one of my favorite artists because he was so good at those paintings and when he got sick and had to be in a wheelchair like in Six Degrees of Separation, he continued to paint brilliant cells of color, just as large as his original paintings, but sectioned into small portions that were accessible to a man who could barely control his motor skills.

scar hemoglobin hemoglobin or hemoglobin? because hemoglobin is funnier okay?! interrobang I have no idea what the heck you are talking about clueless that's me bad english heavy metal punk rocksid vicious who?! so young... too bad. so sad.not so true that surely you are insane I will return the compliment. You are nuts!!!Cashews. Peanuts are not nuts. I am allergic to peanuts-HA chew chew what sneeze Bless you church steeple fingers chicken pieces sitting in the tree. Who knows?

April 17, 2002

Noble-Nobles were French men who liked mustard, named after the noble who made it instead of the cook, which is sort of like calling a Mac a Steve Jobs as opposed to a Jonathan Ives. John is a cool guy, entirely unlike his namesake who terrorized England, and spawned Robin Hood. Monty Python is sometimes funny, though his protege, John Cleese is much funnier. Faulty towers is absolutely brilliant. The Psychiatrist one is the best. Physcho analyzers are divided into two classes, as are sports teams. There are the have and have notes. Haves would be the Packers, who are about to get rid of Antonio Freeman, a very stupid thing to do, just like Apple licensing Microsoft stuff which was very dumb. Microsoft is of course evil, stemming from its stealing of Apple.

˝Write about a Frenchman who loves mustard."

Pierre was a buffoon who loved all food, even Tortilla chips dipped in hot mozzarella with carrot sauce on top. His favorite food, though, was mustard. He consumed it though, day and night, and never let the cook who made it get him down. The cook was an evil rapscallion who stole all the food in the house and got drunk and ate baguettes all day. One day, the cook decided to commit suicide, because Pierre ate too much mustard. But there was no rope in the house, and so he got drunk, got fired, and enlisted in the Foreign Legionaries where he met Beau Geste. Beau Geste means a meaningless gesture, something like the movie by that name. It is an excellent ,movie. The carpet color orange is not very exciting. Better is white, or off white to hide the stains better. I do not know how to hide stains well, so this is an imperative. Imperatives are usually not kept anyway, so what is the point of keeping them. Who knows? I certainly do not know. More do I want to know.

April 29, 2002

Handkerchiefs are white, or at least they should be. William Brown had all white ones, until they got dirty. When things get dirty, then you need tyde. Don't ingest it though, for you will suffer massively, just like the Vikings this year. They are going to be destroyed by the Packers. Brett Favre is a brilliant genius, no matter what he says. And he is not dyslexic. This fact is proven by his brilliant speech after a brilliant performance over Baltimore when I was in Seattle. It always rains there, which means it has the highest suicide rate in the nation. Or so I have been told.

Birthday cake is usually very good. The icing isn’t, probably because it is equal amounts of sugar and food coloring. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with food coloring. Anyone who says so is itching for a fight, just like those who want the right answers on Michael Feldman's show.The name escapes my mind. Will I fall asleep tonight, sometimes I don’t fall asleep when I cant think about something. Isn’t that just so sad. It literally makes me want to bawl and cry with gusto. It is really pretty pathetic that, but I do not mind as I am a kind and compassionate soul, full of of kindness and compassion, even for those whose souls have led them on the path of wickedness which can only lead to eternal damnation. This is the path of the Democratic party.

23 comments:

sarabonne said...

These posts made me quite proud, that is some lovely raving you got.

Altie said...

I thought you don't watch movies.

Icing is the best part of the cake.

Interesting style of writing. And you did this for your own enjoyment?

Modeh B'Miktsas said...

Nice raving.

Qtap said...

High quality raving you have here. Just don't show it to Mrs. Norris, you'll make her eyes bleed.

The Real Shliach said...

Sara: Thanks. Actually, it's not raving, it's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_association_%28psychology%29

Altie: I don't. Even if you gathered from this post that I did, recall that this post is from 2002. But even then, recall please you do, Monty Python was a TV show, as was Fawlty Towers. Admittedly, they would have been watched on VHS, but recall please you do, that's "video", not movie.

Icing: Most cake is better than the icing upon it. Birthday (cardboard) cakes expected.

This was for school. It's a technique to jog the mind.

Modeh: Thanks!

Qtap: This was for the far superior Miss Hollerich...

Altie said...

so... you watched 'videos and tv shows' not movies?

I've never as yet tried a store bought b-day cake that the cake itself was better than the icing.

Cool technique. I wonder what your teachers thought of you...

le7 said...

How did you know about Sid Vicious?

Qtap said...

Miss Hollerich was indeed awesome, still is for that matter. Hmm, I suppose she might like to know of your impending marriage. Maybe I'll tell her.

Superior though to Mrs. Norris...I don't know. Different most assuredly, but better? I don't think one can really compare the two.

The Real Shliach said...

Altie: Videos of tv shows.

Usually both are garbage.

They were of course astounded by my genius.


le7: Good question. I had to look him up now... and the answer is, I have no idea.

Qtap: Do you have an email address for her?

Altie said...

so u watched videos of tv shows, but not movies. interesting.

agreed. homemade beats it all.

Astounded it a rather strong word. You sure they weren't just shell shocked, speechless, confuddled, baffled?

The Real Shliach said...

Something like that.

Too true.

Possibly those too.

Qtap said...

No, I always forget to get it. I'll see her soon enough though, and hopefully remember.

The Real Shliach said...

Thanks.

Cheerio said...

down the rabbit hole and liking it. i'd like to see you do some free assosciation now.

The Real Shliach said...

Good idea.

Lady-Light said...

I think you're starting to lose it, two weeks before your chatunah...

Altie said...

lady, he lost it loooooong ago.

The Real Shliach said...

Lady-Light: True too. Though if I may, I would point out that in fact these were written many moons ago.

Altie: Hmm?

Altie said...

Lady-Light said...

I think you're starting to lose it, two weeks before your chatunah...

My response was that you lost it long ago. Simple.

Lady-Light said...

Ah, yes--it was written a long time ago; I am wrong, and Altie is right!

Lady-Light said...

Ah, yes--it was written a long time ago; I am wrong, and Altie is right!

The Real Shliach said...

That's the kind of nice thing to say that keeps me going :)

Altie said...

Altie is right? Thats the kind of thing that keeps ME going!