Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Ze Narrative

11/01/02

My first hockey game was an experience that I will never forget, especially now that I am writing this down. But back to the hockey game: It was a cold November day, less than a week after my sister’s wedding. The hockey game was to take place in Xcel Energy Center, which is a stone’s throw away from the site of the nuptials, the Landmark Center.

To go to the game, I had to skip school, which was fine by me, though the educators who were paid vast sums of money to inculcate in myself the lessons which would be of a superior sort of use to me in my next lifetime (post education), were not exactly happy campers, considering, of course, the fact that the camping season was over, the temperature being closer to zero than thirty.

We got to the arena in plenty of time to get lost, but admired the apartment buildings which make up the St. Paul skyline while trying to find our seats. Eventually, we found them, and they had little towels draped over them, presented by Wells Fargo. (They were just like Homer Hankies, but smaller and actually able to be used as towels. Hankies are only usable as pieces of cloth which are waveable whenever the urge strikes one. Or two, but we won’t get into the schizophrenic part of life).

The actual game, a 4-3 Dallas Stars victory over the luckless Minnesota Wild, was punctuated by two 20 minute intermissions, each having a trip into the beautiful bathrooms (much nicer than in Target Center, where the Timberwolves and Lynx play, or the Metrodome). The game featured a third period comeback, which fell short in the final seconds.

After exiting, (one thing about the exiting scheme in Xcel: It is brilliant. There are staircases all over the place, painted with the team colors, with which one may exit the arena post-game, quickly efficiently, and quietly; unless of course the fans are drunk which they often are) the stadium with a brand new Wild cap, courtesy of the father figure, we got into the car, and went to Fishman’s for dinner.

The food there wasn’t exceptionally amazing, but filled my stomach like corn fills a chicken gullet. Or how it should fill an avarian belly, if the fowl isn’t anorexic, or alternatively, hasn’t been done in by some fowl play. (grooaan). My next game was just as exciting, but missed the exhilaration which can only be found in a first experience, and, alternatively, in the foibles of an imperfect memory.

Post Script: Any overused expressions were put in here to facilitate the readers imagination, and were probably intended facetiously. If not, then it sure is not my fault.

26 comments:

le7 said...

Hold on, what is Fishmans and can we go there?

The Real Shliach said...

Wouldn't you rather go to a hockey game?

http://www.fishmanskosher.com/

le7 said...

Mmmmm deli.

Qtap said...

You know what else is a stones through from the Exel Center? The Science Museum. Now that is a fun place to go.

Le7: TRS can go to a hokey game, you and I will go to Fishmans.

Qtap said...

I totally killed all the spelling in that comment. My apologize to all.

Altie said...

TRS- when it's getting late, like 4 am, and I'm bored of whatever else I'm doing instead of sleeping like a normal person would, I say hmmm, I wonder if TRS posted a whacky post yet. And sometimes you disappoint me, and only post at 6, but I'm asleep by then. Nice to see your post on time tnite.

I DID read it this time (i'm getting better at that.)

and this of course is my favorite line:
'but filled my stomach like corn fills a chicken gullet.'

Good job.

sarabonne said...

lol, that chicken line was pretty "corny."

Mushkie said...

Did you really write this 7 years ago??? The same feel comes thru.

The Real Shliach said...

Qtap: Yes it is.

Hockey is never hokey.

Altie: Glad to hear it.

Sara: But of course.

Mushkie: I did. I guess I haven't changed too much. Either I was extremely mature in 02, or else...

e said...

Once again I find myself amazed at the writing talent of young TRS.

e said...

We got to the arena in plenty of time to get lost, but admired the apartment buildings which make up the St. Paul skyline while trying to find our seats. Eventually, we found them, and they had little towels draped over them...

This pair of sentence seems like it ought to have a bunch of misplaced modifiers. But it almost doesn't. Kol hakavod.

Altie said...

it reminds me of an SAT test that ask you to place the sentences in the proper order...

e said...

You took SAT? What a waste, considering you're going to Touro.

Altie said...

ok a) I didn't actually take them, I studied for them, payed for them, and then said what the heck, and didn't take it. and b) just because touro takes everyone is no reason NOT to take them. what if i decided to apply to a better college?

and c) don't insult me here. find another way to do it, if you just can't be nice.

The Real Shliach said...

e: Thanks.

Altie: I took the SATs and I'm not even going to college!

Altie said...

And your point is...?

Why, so you can prove your brilliance to the world? And gloat and say, look what score I got, I'm so smart, but oh boy, all those smarts are going to waste cuz I'm not even going to college?

Cheerio said...

will people hate on me if i tell them i didnt study and took the SATs?

Altie said...

maybe... depends what score you got.

le7 said...

Not at all. I didn't study for the SATs or the ACTs. The SATs made me look stupid and the ACTs made me look smart...

The Real Shliach said...

Altie: I was just saying. What's with the hating?

Cheerio: Only if you scored like Yossi Rafaelson...

Altie said...

trs- sorry, I didn't mean it that way.

so, what score did u get?

The Real Shliach said...

1390/1600.

le7 said...

Gah. I got an 1130/1600 on the SAT and 28/36 on the ACT.

Altie said...

oh u know now its out of 2400.

so, is that considered a good score?

(are u really as smart as you try to make ppl believe?)

The Real Shliach said...

Altie:
I know.

It is.

I am.

Altie said...

:) and humble too. humph.