Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Cold place

There's a thing called hashgacha pratis, individual divine providence. Twice tonight I wrote lengthy posts about tonight's mivtzoyim, and twice tonight they vanished into the ether, as of they had never been. Why did G-d want me to waste well over an hour on things that will never be seen be seen by anyone? I don't know the answer to that question. Is it annoying? Sure, and perhaps there's a lesson here. Maybe G-d doesn't like it when I complain about mivtzoyim, about the intense cold, the lack of Jews in Old Tappan, the way bikur bayis is always foisted on poor innocents like myself. Maybe. I don't know. Though I would probably enjoy the experience, I haven't yet been invited to read G-d's thoughts, so I don't know what it is he was thinking. All I can do is my best here in this dank little world we have, and hope to goodness that in this case the third time will truly be the charm.
I'm reminded of an emeseh maaseh shehaya, so lab davka so true, that I hears while I was in yeshiva in LA. It wasn't the Rosh that told it, so depending on your particular political viewpoint that is either a good thing or a bad thing. Anyway, there was once a gabbai in a non-Lubavitch shul who wasn't the biggest lover of chabad. Once at a kiddush during this, the holiday season, he got up and, holding a besantad bottle of coke in his hand, he said, "Look everybody, it's the Lubavitcher Rebbe!"
A week later his house burned down. A week after that he was fired from his lucrative day job. A week after that his wife sued for divorce. After a quick cheshbon hanefesh he realized wherein his problem lay, and the next time there was a kiddush he begged mechilah, publicly for his moronic behavior. Things brightened up considerably after that.

I have a lot more to write, but I'm really tired, and anyway, I wrote it down a couple times already. Sorry 'bout that.

43 comments:

Cheerio said...

that is a scary, freaky story. being chabad, religion of love, it's easy to forget that judaism is sometimes scary and freaky.

LE7 said...

Is that a real story?

Those sort of stories make me paranoid every time something "bad" happens. (Since what bad every happens to such a happy buttercup like me?)

Crawling Axe said...

Maybe the guy had it coming for other reasons, but this was just something that sped it up or that functioned as a keili for din to actualize.

Crawling Axe said...

I haven't yet been invited to read G-d's thoughts
I thought you’re learning nigleh.

The Real Shliach said...

Cheerio: funny thing is, the story doesn't even involve any lubavitchers.
Elisheva: one of the thirteen principles of our faith is that there is reward and punishment.
Crawling Axe: I is. There is a difference between G-d's thoughts the way they come down in a shtikel gemarah and the way they make a holocaust, 9/11, or Mumbai.

LE7 said...

Okay fine. Still makes me paranoid.

The Real Shliach said...

You know what they say, shape up or ship out.

LE7 said...

I thought that wasn't a healthy mindset. A mindset of reward and punishment. Ex. You slipped on ice thus think to yourself "Oh I shouldn't have said that about my boss. Payback."

I mean I have that mindset, but...

The Real Shliach said...

The gemarah says that if a person reaches into their pocket intending to pick out a quarter and they pick out a dime instead, than that is a kaporoh.
Yes, we don't happen to subscribe to fire and brimstone Judaism, but we still believe in it. The question is, what do you emphasize?

LE7 said...

Good point Mr. Da Shliach.

SZB said...

TRS,
1.Ether is good, You should try it sometime.

2. 'besanted'? You didn't expect that to fly, did you?

3. Where is this Gemara?

4. Congratulations on pandering to your groupie-esque following, thereby effectively banishing the slightest vestige of intellectuality remaining in your empty ramblings.

Axe,
Why would 'Nigleh' be the manifestation of G-d's thoughts more than any other portion of Torah?

The Real Shliach said...

1. Sure thing boss.

2. It was supposed to be "besantad"; it's no excuse, but the automatic spellcheck on here can get annoying.

3. How the heck should I remember? I think it's in nezikin, but don't quote me on that.

4. How and when did I do that?

SZB said...

2. No such thing.

3. Thanks for narrowing it down to 10 Mesechtos. Hope you didn't have to work too hard on that.

4. Why don't you ask Cheerio, or maybe Elisheva...

LE7 said...

I'm not a groupie thank you very much, since I have my own groupie-esque following.

The Real Shliach said...

SZB: 2. I feel bad for you. You have no appreciation of the english language.
3. It was a pleasure. Any time.
4. The one who accused should explain the accusation.

Elisheva: sure thing babes

SZB said...

LE7,
Do you specialize in logical fallacies?

TRS,
2. Please don't. When did Chomsky die and leave you high priest of the English language?
4. Oh, was there an accusation? Must have missed it.

LE7 said...

SZB - In all seriousness I like to make logically invalid statements in a purposeful, sure manner.

The Real Shliach said...

Since when are girls supposed to be logical?

2. That's the whole point. There is no high priest. Anyone can do whatever they want. That's what makes it so gorgeous.

4. Don't play coy. You accused me of selling out, but so far you have yet to back your assertion with any reality-based arguments.

LE7 said...

I can be logical if I want to. After all I'm a natural science major.

The Real Shliach said...

Ahh, those are a dime a dozen. Anyway, who ever said that logic was a good thing? The whole story of chanuka is proof that logic is worthless.

LE7 said...

Last year after Chanukah I was on a mission against logic. But now a year later I chilled out a bit.

LE7 said...

And no, polisci and English majors are a dime a dozen.

The Real Shliach said...

You chilled out? You sound like amalek or something.

What do policy majors study?

LE7 said...

Ugh I'm not Amalek. I'm just saying, a little logic isn't the end of the world within limits.

Polisci = Political Science. Every other Jew you meet is a political science major and it's worth jack squat.

The Real Shliach said...

Yeah yeah.

Why would anyone devote themselves to something that's worth nothing?

LE7 said...

Hey you're asking the wrong woman.

The Real Shliach said...

I thought you knew the answers to all of life's questions.

LE7 said...

You are correct in that assessment, but even I, the fountainhead of all answers, cannot fathom why people devote themselves to something that is worth nothing.

SZB said...

The girls i know are logical. Logic is h0TT.

2. My that token my lack of regard for your butchering or our beautiful language by no means that i have no appreciation of it. Your logic eats itself.

2. You are judged by the company you keep.

On another note: It seems once again that an essential point in the understanding of Chanuka has gone over your head. If logic is worthless why did the Greeks make such a point a contaminating the oil [חכמה], and why did the Jews insist on using only pure oil when it would have been Halachikaly permissible to use impure oil at under the circumstances.

Hint: go learn מאי חמוכה במשנת הרבי

SZB said...

Why would anyone devote themselves to something that's worth nothing?

TRS, walk over to the nearest mirror and ask yourself why you devote yourself to this blog.

The Real Shliach said...

English is beautiful because it's adaptable, not because it's able to be butchered.

It's hardly my fault that I'm such a stud.

You go learn al hanisim '29, and then we can talk.

And this blog is hardly worthless. It keeps many people entertained, and some people even get inspired by it.

Btw, not that I'm complaining, but with all the bitterness and nastiness?

SZB said...

Existential angst. Thanks for asking.

e said...

SZB, I'm waiting for a response to point number 4

The Real Shliach said...

What's eating you up now?

SZB said...

E,
I'm not sure what you're waiting for. Empirical evidence for an opinion?

TRS,
More of the same.

The Real Shliach said...

So I have to suffer?

e said...

SZB, just copy and paste the words which you felt supported or stimulated your opinion.

SZB said...

TRS,
Really, are you suffering?

E,
רבים הם ואי אפשר לפרטם

The Real Shliach said...

Just because this is the Internet doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

And the reason you can't lost them is because there aren't any.

SZB said...

Ok, I'll go away now.

The Real Shliach said...

Is that the white flag of defeat?

SZB said...

I don't like hurting the feelings of the vulnerable. Besides, it doesn't make for much of a challenge.

The Real Shliach said...

Ouch.