Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Show me the money!

So here I sit, blogging in front of the chanuka lights; all right, so I should be looking at them instead of the screen, after all, in the Moshiach Times of old, there was a comic which had the line, or something very much like it, "Look at the story which the candles are telling." Well, guess what? I looked at the lights, they told me a story, and now I have to blog it.

Rabbi Chaim Schapiro announced today that he's making a macha against people buying their children chanuka presents. It seems that he is of the opinion that this falls under the category of "lo seilchu b'chukas hagoyim." Jews give Chanuka gelt; goyim give x-mas presents. This is very similar to the tooth fairy. Jews don't tell their kids that there's a tooth fairy, because that is simply not true. People who tell their kids that there is a tooth malach are even worse; not only are they following in the footsteps of the heathens, but they're making up new shtuff in our own excellent religion. You want to bribe your kids when their tooth falls out and it hurts? Fine, but there's no reason to lie to them in the process. The same goes for chanuka presents. Your kids feel bad that all their friends are getting popcorn makers or whatever it is parents give their children nowadays? So take them shopping after the festival is over, and they can spend all their chanuka gelt on whatever it is their little hearts desire.
This is merely a poor rendition of the Rabbi's passionate speech, and I think you would all do well to contact him and ask for a recap. Of course, when we asked him if he would accept a chanuka present...let's just say that he's an open minded Rabbi.

72 comments:

fg said...

BS"D
Rabbi Shapiro's angle and opinions are refreshingly... classic.
Judaism uncensored and honest. Thanks for sharing.

Crawling Axe said...

Your kids feel bad that all their friends are getting popcorn makers or whatever it is parents give their children nowadays?

What friends? Jewish kinderlach having goyishe friends?

I have a problem with the whole 4th of July thing too (not the Declaration of Independence and separation from George III but the fireworks etc.).

the pro-ta'aruvos activist said...

UGGGGHHH!! A fundi. Icch, get him out here! Quick, bring on some pritzus, to scare him away.

The Real Shliach said...

Fab: yes, I love him too.

Crawling man: who said anything about friends from outside the faith? The vast majority of Jewish kiddies get chanuka presents.

Fundamentalist man: we have a couple words for people like you: unresolved issues.
Besides, the rabbi is far from being a fundamentalist; he's intelligent, which is a very different thing.

SZB said...

I'm sure the Beloved Rabbi is just blessing the day you walked into his program...

The Real Shliach said...

It's not my fault that he didn't do a thorough background check.

LE7 said...

It is sick when parents lie to their kids. (There, I made a blanket condemning statement I am not prepared to back up).

I remember when I was a wee one, before my first day of kindergarten (since I went to kindergarten with non-Jews if no one could gather that), my parents explained to me that non-Jews lie to their kids and teach them about such things as Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. BUT that I can't start the revolution and open their eyes since that is their parents decision.

The Real Shliach said...

Why aren't you prepared to back it up? You've just ensured that about twenty potential comments will never see the light of day. You owe me twenty hits!

Suddenly, I like your parents a whole lot more than I ever did before.

LE7 said...

I figure by stating that I'm not prepared I would get attacked, thus guaranteeing you even more comments.

I think if people knew more about my parents they would like them. I owe my life-long irrational Jewish pride to my parents. Go parents go.

The Real Shliach said...

So you want I should savage your statement? I'll only do it if you promise to put up a defense.

That's right, go run roughshod over the proletariat.

LE7 said...

Go ahead. I'm a little busy playing pharmacist for my boss, but I'll try and defend it. Granted, I'm terrible at arguing. (Duly noted by the awful snipfitty argument I go into with Nemo over on frumsatire). Go.

The Real Shliach said...

In fact, I happen to agree with you. Still, many times, as Winston Churchil said, truth is so precious that it must be surrounded by protective lies. Btw, joe Stalin loved that quote, for obvious reasons. My point is that it's not always necessary to tell your kids everything. For example, they don't have to know all the details of their parent's divorce. Always tell the truth, but have a brain while you do it. Even the Torah permits the telling of an untruth in certain cases.

LE7 said...

Yeah like when you're not supposed to call a kallah ugly even if she is.

The Real Shliach said...

She's not ugly. Her chassan thinks she's beautiful, so for him it's the truth.

LE7 said...

No I know. I was just trying to be coarse.

SZB said...

Even the Torah permits the telling of an untruth in certain cases.

The Torah permitted the truth to be alterd for the sake of peace. Heaven forbid the allowance to utter a falsehood or untruth. Ever.

There's a Sicha where the Rebbe OBM elaborates on this. Look it up.

The Real Shliach said...

Elisheva: of course, to the rest of us, she looks like a frog.

SZB: what do you think I was talking about?
And who is this Rebbe OBM of which you speak?

LE7 said...

Maybe it's too soon after the election but OBM always looks like Obama to me.

SZB said...

TRS,
About saying an untruth.

OBM = Of Blessed Memory.

The Real Shliach said...

Who woulda thunked it?

And you still never explained how I was selling out. Until you do that you have no credibility.

SZB said...

Suit yourself.

pro ta'aruvos activist said...

I was talking about cralwing axe, not the rabbi

The Real Shliach said...

Salachti kidvarecha

citizen of brooklyn north said...

Um, isn't there a real source that states we should give presents to wife/kids for the yomin tovim? like succos, pesach, and shevuos? I don't care if you want to give gifts, but no question, it comes from Christmas.

e said...

The rabbis said to give gifts BEFORE the 3 regallim, not DURING Chanukah.

Cheerio said...

i'm blaming it on the late hour, but i don't have a thing to say. just want to subscribe.

Crawling Axe said...

UGGGGHHH!! A fundi. Icch, get him out here! Quick, bring on some pritzus, to scare him away.
Halevai.

who said anything about friends from outside the faith? The vast majority of Jewish kiddies get chanuka presents.
In that case it’s the regular “why does Moishe get to ride bicycle without helmet on?” (I could use worse examples, but I just started Pesachim…)

The Real Shliach said...

Oh yes, it certainly is.

Cheerio said...

which reminds me... we (i?) wanna hear the secret santa update...

Cheerio said...

(maybe it should be secret maccabee?)

The Real Shliach said...

The party's only on sunday night, you'll get your full update then.

fab said...

BS"D
Don't forget, my shidduch advice column goes up today :)

fg said...

BS"D
I realized that it needs so editing...
In anycase, I'd like to add in two dating tips:
1. Keeping the conversation going is a beautiful talent, and it makes the other person seriously feel at ease. Please remember though to let the other person speak, even if you're a phenomenal orator. If I wanted to listen to a soliloquy, I would have gone to see a show.
2. Being honest and to the point is a very valant thing to do, but it needs balance and good timing. Do not "lay all the cards on the table" on your first date. Let people get to know you before they consider your familial, financial, or emotional status. Also, let me clarify; the person you are dating is your date, not your therapist or diary. It takes a while for emotional intimacy to grow... don't rush it, because it may scare people off.

b'hatzlocha

LE7 said...

Yeah, what did you end up getting the fellow?

fg said...

BS"D
I don't get your question?

The Real Shliach said...

Fab: Yeah, I'm working on it, k?

Elisheva: I'm broke, I haven't bought anything for him yet.

LE7 said...

As I like to say "Welcome to adulthood." Can you make him something? Also, if you can't think of anything, I recommend clementines.

The Real Shliach said...

Thanks.
Make hims something? Are you kidding me? Are you forgetting that I'm a guy?
I know what I want to get him, I just can't afford it.

LE7 said...

Boys are perfectly capable of making things too.

Stand outside and ask for donations.

The Real Shliach said...

Examples please.

Have you ever tried begging for cash in CH? I'd probably be shot by the Russian mafia which controls the beggars here.

LE7 said...

Draw a pictorial representation of your feelings for him. Knit him dishrags. Sew him a tie. I don't know.

I haven't even tried begging for money in Milwaukee.

The Real Shliach said...

I don't have any particular feelings for him. Besides, what else could I possibly draw of my feelings for him? Yes, I accuse you of a tautological redundancy! You tuna fish!

I need money to get shtuff to knit or sew.

Try it, it won't be fun.

LE7 said...

I can't believe you just called me a tuna fish.

The Real Shliach said...

What's so hard to believe? It's written right there in black on white.

LE7 said...

It's just so sweet.

The Real Shliach said...

Obviously, you didn't get it.

LE7 said...

If it was an obscure reference, then I didn't get it.

If you thought I was being serious, then you didn't get it.

The Real Shliach said...

The words "tuna fish", like "Draw a pictorial representation", like "tautological redundancy", are in fact redundant. Truth is, a tautology is a grammatical redundancy, while a redundancy pretty much covers everything else, but I don't let trifling little quibbles (ooh, a threepeat there!) like that get in my way.

And don't worry, I haven't taken you seriously in years.

LE7 said...

Clever. Mkay.

Cheerio said...

mkay. wait, your secret gift receiver is a guy? when was this information revealed? you knit/sew? wow, trs, i didn't know you had it in you!
and isn't moneylessness what parents are for?

The Real Shliach said...

Guy shtuff: You didn't know that?

Knit/sew shtuff: I don't.

Money shtuff: That's exactly the problem.

Cheerio said...

guy shtuff - no, somehow i missed that.
knit/sew shtuff - well, can you glue?
money shtuff - meaning...?

The Real Shliach said...

Nisht geferlach

a little

it's a long story

Cheerio said...

no bar mitzvah savings?

The Real Shliach said...

Gone the way of the dodo.

Cheerio said...

see, this is a question i've pondered before. girls get out of sem and work. but guys are in yeshiva. so where do they get money?

The Real Shliach said...

They get odd jobs, or they get supported by their parents, or they suffer.

Cheerio said...

so, you're in category number three right now?

The Real Shliach said...

Bingo.

Cheerio said...

my sympathies.

The Real Shliach said...

Cash would be more appreciated. I also accept checks.

e said...

y'all: You're a funny group.

trs: If you want, I can lend you some. But you'll need to pay me back eventually.

The Real Shliach said...

Since when did you become a gvir?

e said...

Must one be a gvir to finance your present buying? What do you want to buy this guy already? Excessive commenting on TRS during the morning/early afternoon is like drinking vodka in the morning /early afternoon. If we discuss this matter further, it will be through e-mail. (Sorry le7 and Cheerio. I'm sure you're dying to know how this'll work out.)

The Real Shliach said...

Nice analogy. Very true.

LE7 said...

You should cut me off now since I really should be at work....

The Real Shliach said...

Bichlal, what exactly do you do?

LE7 said...

I work at LH. I'm a secretary/matzah checker/(at home pseudo mashgiach - bug checker)/mail sorter/e-mail writer/envelope stuffer... and being that it's x-mas the only person who will be in the office today. I better get cracking.

The Real Shliach said...

You don't have internet over there?

LE7 said...

I do, but I feel guilty wasting time commenting from there.

The Real Shliach said...

And you don't feel guilty wasting time commenting from your current location?

LE7 said...

Not as much.