Sunday, December 14, 2008

For the young at heart

Today we held a very nice birthday party for my niece. She just turned two, and though this might excite myriad comments, and I sure hope it does, she happens to be the cutest two year old niece in the universe. Bar none. Don't even try arguing. This party was preceded by an epic stomach ache, the kind that results in feeling like your going to faint in 770 during kriah, vomiting up several cups of Coca-Cola Classic (always the real thing) during the shabbos seudah, plus that morning's yogurt and some challah, cucumber (not zucchini, thank you very much) and potato salad, and not feeling up to the gargantuan task of blogging. Fortunately by this afternoon I was able to eat some sushi and keep down the four cups of Coke (drunk entirely for my health of course). By the by, I did manage to expel all that shabbos lunch directly into a stationary potty, a fact which some people, I am sure, are quote gratified to hear.

Anyway, at this party of ours, one of my niece's aunts, no particular relation of mine, decided to make a "secret Santa" for the whole family for the upcoming Chanuka festivities. Though some suggested that we call it a "Hannukah Harry anonymous delivery system", this idea was roundly and soundly objected to as being much to unwieldy for a family-style blog such as this one. Another, slightly more normal suggestion was made, and that proposition did propose to only draw the names of the recipients moments before the gifts were distributed, which would allow for more spontaneity. This idea was also shot down, as it was pointed out that this very same spontaneous selection would also result in a non-ability to tailor the gift to the recipient.
Thus, the fatal decision was made, and all gathered round as the names were solemnly drawn from a plastic bowl. I got someone-you didn't actually expect me to tell you who I got, did you? What if my niece's aunt were to, by some odd quirk, read this very blog? Would I escape the wrath of a scorned 15 year old Beis Rivka girl? Would not death, in all its sorrow, be more desirable? Well, perhaps I exaggerate a bit, but still, the point can easily be made that I would be trifling with my life if I were to reveal the object of my gifting.

Meanwhile, in other news, tomorrow it's back to the grindstone. But before that, let me just mention that tomorrow is the day before 19 Kislev, and therefore we, as Chabad Chassidim, cease and desist from the Tachanun prayers, as indeed we will do for the following two days as well in their entirety. If someone happens to be planning on joining a congregation that says the penitential prayers for the next three days, them they should nonetheless not say them, as they will be celebrating a holiday, the New Year of Chassidus, a festive occasion if there ever was one. Plus, I'll have a partial report from the TWO NIGHTS, THREE FARBRENGENS that are upcoming, and if that's not cause for jubilation, then I don't know what is.

12 comments:

Fredricka said...

Happy Birthday "cutest" niece!

Elisheva said...

"... cucumber (not zucchini, thank you very much)..."

Wow. You're just sending zingers everywhere.

Mazal tov Cutest Niece.

I try not to post pleasant or encouraging comments, being that its not very interesting, but I have to say I am pretty excited to read the upcoming farbrengens' transcripts.

Leo de Toot said...

Dear Mr. R.S.
Let me be quite clear on this - way, way too much information! While I'm distressed to hear of your recent gastro-intestinal discomfort, I did not require such detail. Suffice it to say, I hope you have quite recovered and would request that if you are so moved (pun) to purge yourself (again) of such personal details please post a warning in the first line. I don't wish to gag (yet again) anything you wish to express and let me say that I do appreciate the Tachnun information and of course congratulate you (and your niece) on her second birthday. I also am looking forward to your Farbrenen reports.
Well enough of me spewing forth (#4), wishing you a complete recovery, L d Toot.

Cheerio said...

i will not argue with that statement (you know which one) simply because i don't possess a two year old niece. now, a two year old (well, almost) nephew i do have. and i may tell you, he is DEFINITELY the cutest two year old nephew in the world. hmm....are you thinking what i'm thinking?
on a technical matter - what do we call those people to whom we are not blood related but those to whom we are blood related are blood related? e.g. niece's aunt, nephew's uncle...
my motto is my sister's brother in law is my brother in law (because sister's brother in law is a tongue twister and sister's sister in law is even worse), but i am constantly being challenged on this.

Cheerio said...

and is your family planning on having a proper Channuka celebration on the 25th? chinese food, chanuka bush, secret santa...

Cheerio said...

ooh, i forgot - some frivolous activity we never get to do because we can't learn? chess, ice skating, even (gasp) a movie?

The Real Shliach said...

Am I thinking what you're thinking? Get back to me in a couple of decades.

Re: 25-actually, that's cutest niece's mommy's English B-day, and we're going out to eat at some fancy restaurant in celebration.

e said...

Hate to burst TRS' and Cheerio's respective bubbles, but MY two year old niece is cuter than all nieces AND nephew in the world. Although, I must admit that said niece's own mother said that TRS' niece is (non-superlatively) "really cute."

Cheerio said...

let's have a contest: this channukah, (when i'll be seeing my nephew and can acquire current photos), let's all post pictures of said "cutest" nieces/nephew on our blogs (e, you'll have to ask trs for permission to borrow his), and have people vote!

The Real Shliach said...

Sounds like a plan.

e said...

I'm sorry, but my superlatively cute niece cannot participate. Privacy issues...

But I can be the impartial judge.

The Real Shliach said...

I think you're just scared that she'll lose. Big time.