Monday, December 8, 2008

J for O-changing their messiah?

While I was doing the manly thing in the men's last night I had a epiphisite worthy of the man who coined the word. If you think about it, the message of Lubavitch today has changed drastically from what it was fifteen or so years ago. Back then, as the Soviet Union crumbled, the Berlin Wall fell down, American troops went into Somalia to feed the hungry, and various other life-style affirming events were taking place, the message of Lubavitch was that with all this world peace shtuff happening, Moshiach couldn't be far off. Never before had so many people gained their freedom in so short a time, and humanity was ready for the biggest paradigm change in history.
Nowadays, after 9/11 and Mumbai, with pirates once again preying on innocents, the stock market, housing market, automobile market, and every other market in shambles, it seems that the world can't get any darker. The only hope is...you guessed it...Moshiach!
Now, I'm not criticizing anyone, I'm just reporting this interesting phenomenon.

After I related the above thoughts to a friend of mine from Vermont who for some reason wants to remain anonymous, he asked me what my point was exactly. I told him that I didn't quite know, but would be happy if he could shed some light on the issue. He declined to enlighten me, merely commenting that times change, or something like that.
Speaking of times they are a changin', it was comforting to see the Governor of Illinois, whose name I won't even attempt to spell, get indicted for destroying whatever remaining public trust there remained in government. You know why George W. Bush completely and utterly rocks the house? Because even if he broke any laws, it was all in the service of his country. He broke them in order to protect the citizens of this great community. Maybe that's why liberals hate him so much; when one of their own is caught, it's because he was subverting laws for his personal benefit. Bush, on the other hand, may have subverted some laws, but he did it for us. Liberals just don't seem to understand that there is such a thing as a selfless person. They refuse to acknowledge that someone might believe in something greater than themselves. And this is precisely why Barack Obama is going to lose the 2012 elections all by himself. His administration will be the most corrupt one in decades, because the people in it are only looking out for themselves.

All right, enough self-righteous prattle for one night. How about a Halacha? Did you all know that in certain circumstances one is obligated to flush food down the toilet? Or that, in slightly different circumstances, one is required to take the monetary value of a pot and throw that down the toilet? Don't you love this religion?
You know, I always say that if I could be a different person, I'd be a black preacher. Have you seen Jeremiah Wright preach? He is incredible! I would love to be able to do that. And the gospel choirs? Divine! There's no way I could pull this kind of thing off in a Chabad house.
Still, no Christian can compare when it comes to religion. Sure, they might have the sights and sounds, but pnimius? Hardly. I mean, great, some Jewish guy died for my sins. Whoop de do. Now what, go out and convert the heathens? Please tell me there's more to it than that.

Oh, I was trying to avoid the pretentious shtuff, and there I go again. Sorry 'bout that. I'm just trying to figure out a topic that doesn't lend itself to that kind of perversion. Hmmm... Oh well, you'll get over it soon enough.

31 comments:

I love yeshua said...

You're WAY over simplifying our religion.

The Real Shliach said...

Nu, elaborate!

Anonymous said...

i thought u said no names

Elisheva said...

Sort of reminds me of the time honored epitaph: "10≤∞ years ago, things were much more wholesome. People were better. Things were cleaner."

Okay so it doesn't exactly go like that.

What is my point?

People never say anything original; it's all perspective; history repeats itself.

How does this apply to what you said? I'm working on that part.

The Real Shliach said...

Anon: what names? Vermont is a big name.
Elisheva: the question is, how were you reminded exactly?

Elisheva said...

I want to stew over night and see if I can manage something intelligent. Stay tuned.

The Real Shliach said...

I eagerly await with bated breath.

Nemo said...

Funny you should mention Bush's beliefs today, on the very day that he has admitted to not believing in the literal truth of the Bible.

http://news.aol.com/article/bush-says-he-doubts-bible-literally-true/264531

The Real Shliach said...

And yes, when you read the article, he pretty much echoes what I said about him.

fabulous girl (I have got to get a better name, any suggestions?) said...

BS"D
Side note:
Don't we also doubt the bible literally? Isn't that why we have a Mesorah?

Nemo said...

TRS: to be honest, I didn't read the article; just the headline. Pretty irresponsible for someone who is supposed to research all of his sources, eh?

Elisheva said...

Still working...

when are you obligated to throw food down the toilet?

smart girl (or undereducated) said...

let me guess....the food needing to be flushed down the toilet would be when erev pesach falls out on shabbos-the remaining bread eaten in the morning. The money would be the equivelent of a pot which was used with basar b'chalav in order not to get any hano'oh from it?...

smart girl (or undereducated) said...

let me guess....the food needing to be flushed down the toilet would be when erev pesach falls out on shabbos-the remaining bread eaten in the morning. The money would be the equivelent of a pot which was used with basar b'chalav in order not to get any hano'oh from it?...

Anonymous said...

let me guess....the food needing to be flushed down the toilet would be when erev pesach falls out on shabbos-the remaining bread eaten in the morning. The money would be the equivelent of a pot which was used with basar b'chalav in order not to get any hano'oh from it?...

Nemo said...

Or basar b'cholov which you can't get hano'oh from.

The Real Shliach said...

Smart girl: yes, you are correct, it is current practice to flush chametz down the toilet, but in fact, it's not halachicly required. The shulchan oruch proscribes flushing in a case when you cooked meat and milk together. Why flushing? Because you aren't allowed to have any benefit from it-you can't even feed it to a doggie.
Now, if you cook meat in a milchig pot that is not a ben yomo, or vice-versa, then you are, in the words of the shulchan oruch, required to take money equivalent to the pot and throw it in the river.

Elisheva said...

My ultimate point was, when I first read it I didn't even notice the distinction, because ULTIMATELY the message is the same. The only answer is moshiach. So hasn't that been the message for a few thousand years now? The only differences are the people saying it and the conditions which are prompting the saying. We've been saying the same thing forever, just working within the parameters of whatever the global situation is at that time. Just like any good optimist. Not to mention we have to believe that....

I love yeshua said...

Youd don't *have* to believe anything. It's a free country. How does the belief that haMoshiach is here already sit with you?

Elisheva said...

Dude, number 12.

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/107781/jewish/Ani-Maamin-I-Believe.htm

I can't believe me of all people...

Elisheva said...

I'm embarrassed that I used 'ultimate' and 'ultimately' in the same paragraph. Goodness...

I love yeshua said...

e/one knows that maimonides had a chip in his shoulder against yeshua. he had a whole chunk about him in hilchoth meachim, which the later sages editted out. but if you look for the original you can find what he says about yeshua

The Real Shliach said...

I love Yeshua is correct- you don't have to believe anything you don't want to believe. And yes, elisheva, I too am shocked that you of all people are standing up for organized religion. Shame on you.
Truth is though, Mr. J for J, muhammed is much cooler than Jesus. After all, he had all those wives, and he fought all those wars too. Much superior to your pansy, whose only accomplishment was getting nailed to a cross.

Elisheva said...

It was a very wimpy stand, in a moment of weakness, thus excusable.

As my boss always says, "Why are you asking me? It's a free country, a democracy, you can do whatever the h you want."

Nemo said...

"muhammed is much cooler than Jesus"

Are you kidding? Jesus was white at least.

Nemo said...

So what if he was a kike ... at least not a jihadist a-rab.

Elisheva said...

But Muhammad was married to a much older rich lady. The ultimate in pimp.

The Real Shliach said...

Muhammed wasn't white? Dang, there goes my whole religion!

Crawling Axe said...

Bottom line is: back in the day, Mashiach was coming because the Rebbe said he was coming. Now, Mashiach needs to come within this generation, because otherwise we will have missed another opportunity.

Also, I don’t know if any of the crises you mentioned will sound so major to anybody with historic attention span over couple decades. (To balance things out, Internet became everyday reality. Talk of your wellsprings...)

Cheerio said...

muhammed was also married to a much younger jewish girl. much, much younger. the ultimate pervert.
i think this is the point - when things are good for the jews, moshiach needs to come. when things are bad for the jews, moshiach needs to come. moshiach just needs to frikin' come!

e said...

I read in some Muslim book that Muhammed married all these women to do them a favor, to protect them from unscrupulous characters who would prey on unmarried women. Kind of like how the Talmud says that you should "not ignore your own flesh" and marry your niece.

BTW, this older woman was Muhammad's former employer and a rich lady. She was the first one to believe Muhammad's prophecies and the therefore the first Muslim. So without her, this whole thing might never have gotten off the ground.