Sunday, August 9, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Short Bio for the fans
Think how much happier you'd be if your picture was here.
Subscribe via email
Posts
The Impersonator (by TRS, courtesy of BB)
Labels
- Advertising (4)
- Barack Obama (15)
- Baseball (7)
- Birthright (12)
- Chanuka (15)
- Chassidus (72)
- Crown Heights (7)
- Dating (14)
- Dear TRS: (8)
- Farbrengen (160)
- Fishing (1)
- Golf (1)
- Halacha (46)
- Haveil Havalim (6)
- Historia (14)
- Hockey (1)
- Israel (17)
- Jokes (27)
- Joshua (17)
- Kosher Cooking Carnival (1)
- Literature (34)
- Lubavitch (102)
- Mazel Tov (18)
- Movie Review (1)
- Mumbai (8)
- Music (31)
- Parsha Thoughts (10)
- PETA (2)
- Pictures (21)
- Poetry (13)
- Purim (1)
- Rabbi Chaim Schapiro (30)
- Shlichus (82)
- Shtuff (127)
- Tachanun (7)
And the winner is...
(Drum roll please)...
Summer:
Hot-4
Miserable-2
Cold-1
Bold-1
__________________________________
Israel+Iran:
Dark skin-6
War inevitable-6
Ruled by dictators-4
Separated at birth-3
___________________________________
Macaroni and Cheese
Good move-21
Bad move-3
___________________________________
Should TRS stop the ad hominem attacks?
Which attacks? -9
Yes-5
No-4
___________________________________
Trains are to males as...
hotdogs are to BBQ-10
crochet is to females-7
tennis balls are to dogs-6
robes are to HP-5
__________________________________
Shall we go healthy?
Yes-10
Yumm...arugula... -8
Are you crazy? -8
No-1
__________________________________
Last album before Sefirah?
Avraham Fried's Live in Israel-7
Benny Friedman's Taamu-4
Shloime Gertner's Say Asay-4
Beri Weber's Vehaarev-2
___________________________________
Some day we will all be...?
Expressing fear-10
Together-8
Warm-8
Sheltered-2
____________________________________
Yossi and TRS are...?
Evil-14
Brilliant-8
Hilarious-7
Awesome-5
____________________________________
Brush teeth in the shower?
Certainly-16
No way! 11
Brush teeth? 6
Shower? 5
__________________________________
America needs...?
More bagel stores-9
Legalized marijuana-7
Universal health care-4
Less reliance on foreign oil-4
_________________________________
America is indebted to...?
Charlie Chaplin-5
George W. Bush-4
Doug Mientkiewicz-3
Barack Obama-1
_________________________________
What should have been his reason?
Bored-1
Urgent appointment with hairdresser-0
Phone needed sanitization-3
He was going on an actual date-11
_________________________________
Is Over-Capitalization A Uniquely American Problem?
YES-2
no-8
Who said it's a problem?-2
Do they even have capitals in Crylic?-11
__________________________________
The winter has come...
Down the hatches!-2
Up the hatches-0
Who said anything about hatches?-6
I was going to say alcohol...-14
__________________________________
Should TRS be invited to the Kinnus?
Of course! He's TRS!-10
I hate to break it to you... -10
You really want rubber chicken?-3
I'll call Moshe right now-2
__________________________________
Craigslist:
Drawers, Bookcase, Couch...-10
Rocks-3
Cheap-2
Awesome-2
____________________________________
Crown Heights?
Crazy-20
You couldn't think of a better poll?-16
Expensive-13
Boring-3
_____________________________________
TRS?
Daily-17
Weekly-9
Every moment of your life!-7
Never-3
Monthly-1
___________________________________
TRS+le7:
No presence=Presents-11
I'm there!-7
I'm there+Presents-1
__________________________________
Breadsmith's Best?
Everything!-9
Greek Olive Ciabatta-5
Blueberry Cornbread, Rustic Italian-4
French Roll-2
Lemon Poppyseed-1
__________________________________
The future is...?
Now-9
Happened-2
In ten minutes-2
After supper-10
______________________________________
Music by the wedding:
Only Lubavitch-12
Lubavitch+Lipa-7
Only Lipa-5
Lubavitch=Lipa-4
____________________________________
What's for dinner?
Beef-6
Potatoes-3
Dan Quayle-10
The spelling bee-6
___________________________________
The Nine Days:
More mourning-7
More introspection: 3
More no music-7
More almost over!-8
___________________________________
The Three Weeks:
No music-6
Mourning-5
Introspection-5
Nearly Over!-5
___________________________________
Have you ever seen your father...
Cry-5
Fly-9
Tie-5
Sigh-5
___________________________________
The summer:
Hot-4
Sticky-7
Noisy-4
Enjoyable-12
___________________________________
Do you believe in...?
Unicorns-6
Taxes-3
The Great Pumpkin-7
Universal Health care-12
___________________________________
Peanut Butter and...?
Jelly-11
Jam-5
Plain-8
Who eats peanut butter?-6
____________________________________
Is there any specific reason...?
Yes-9
No-7
Depends who's asking-14
____________________________________
I prefer...
Lchaims-4
Shabbos Kallahs-1
Aufrufs-2
Weddings-7
Life-21
___________________________________
To be or not to be?
Be-10
Not to be-3
That is the question-5
Who cares about Denmark?-14
___________________________________
Pease Pudding
Hot-3
Cold-2
In the pot nine days old-14
___________________________________
Lag B'Omer means to me...
Bad Guitar Strumming-7
BBQ-5
Real Music-3
Parade-2
___________________________________
What is an appropriate response to terror?
Wringing of necks-21
Wringing of handkerchiefs-4
Wringing of hands-1
___________________________________
Who is your favorite Sefirah artist?
the Friedman Clan-9
Yosef Karduner-3
Lev Tahor-2
Kol Zimra, Six13-1
___________________________________
If one finds Chametz in a matza box while setting up the Seder plate, does one
burn your mashpia-31
burn your chametz+burn the entire box of matza-5 each
call your mashpia-1
__________________________________
When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie,
13-that's amore
8-that's a matzah, that's a bore
1-that's a law
_________________________________________
What's your favorite aspect of Pesach?
Summer:
Hot-4
Miserable-2
Cold-1
Bold-1
__________________________________
Israel+Iran:
Dark skin-6
War inevitable-6
Ruled by dictators-4
Separated at birth-3
___________________________________
Macaroni and Cheese
Good move-21
Bad move-3
___________________________________
Should TRS stop the ad hominem attacks?
Which attacks? -9
Yes-5
No-4
___________________________________
Trains are to males as...
hotdogs are to BBQ-10
crochet is to females-7
tennis balls are to dogs-6
robes are to HP-5
__________________________________
Shall we go healthy?
Yes-10
Yumm...arugula... -8
Are you crazy? -8
No-1
__________________________________
Last album before Sefirah?
Avraham Fried's Live in Israel-7
Benny Friedman's Taamu-4
Shloime Gertner's Say Asay-4
Beri Weber's Vehaarev-2
___________________________________
Some day we will all be...?
Expressing fear-10
Together-8
Warm-8
Sheltered-2
____________________________________
Yossi and TRS are...?
Evil-14
Brilliant-8
Hilarious-7
Awesome-5
____________________________________
Brush teeth in the shower?
Certainly-16
No way! 11
Brush teeth? 6
Shower? 5
__________________________________
America needs...?
More bagel stores-9
Legalized marijuana-7
Universal health care-4
Less reliance on foreign oil-4
_________________________________
America is indebted to...?
Charlie Chaplin-5
George W. Bush-4
Doug Mientkiewicz-3
Barack Obama-1
_________________________________
What should have been his reason?
Bored-1
Urgent appointment with hairdresser-0
Phone needed sanitization-3
He was going on an actual date-11
_________________________________
Is Over-Capitalization A Uniquely American Problem?
YES-2
no-8
Who said it's a problem?-2
Do they even have capitals in Crylic?-11
__________________________________
The winter has come...
Down the hatches!-2
Up the hatches-0
Who said anything about hatches?-6
I was going to say alcohol...-14
__________________________________
Should TRS be invited to the Kinnus?
Of course! He's TRS!-10
I hate to break it to you... -10
You really want rubber chicken?-3
I'll call Moshe right now-2
__________________________________
Craigslist:
Drawers, Bookcase, Couch...-10
Rocks-3
Cheap-2
Awesome-2
____________________________________
Crown Heights?
Crazy-20
You couldn't think of a better poll?-16
Expensive-13
Boring-3
_____________________________________
TRS?
Daily-17
Weekly-9
Every moment of your life!-7
Never-3
Monthly-1
___________________________________
TRS+le7:
No presence=Presents-11
I'm there!-7
I'm there+Presents-1
__________________________________
Breadsmith's Best?
Everything!-9
Greek Olive Ciabatta-5
Blueberry Cornbread, Rustic Italian-4
French Roll-2
Lemon Poppyseed-1
__________________________________
The future is...?
Now-9
Happened-2
In ten minutes-2
After supper-10
______________________________________
Music by the wedding:
Only Lubavitch-12
Lubavitch+Lipa-7
Only Lipa-5
Lubavitch=Lipa-4
____________________________________
What's for dinner?
Beef-6
Potatoes-3
Dan Quayle-10
The spelling bee-6
___________________________________
The Nine Days:
More mourning-7
More introspection: 3
More no music-7
More almost over!-8
___________________________________
The Three Weeks:
No music-6
Mourning-5
Introspection-5
Nearly Over!-5
___________________________________
Have you ever seen your father...
Cry-5
Fly-9
Tie-5
Sigh-5
___________________________________
The summer:
Hot-4
Sticky-7
Noisy-4
Enjoyable-12
___________________________________
Do you believe in...?
Unicorns-6
Taxes-3
The Great Pumpkin-7
Universal Health care-12
___________________________________
Peanut Butter and...?
Jelly-11
Jam-5
Plain-8
Who eats peanut butter?-6
____________________________________
Is there any specific reason...?
Yes-9
No-7
Depends who's asking-14
____________________________________
I prefer...
Lchaims-4
Shabbos Kallahs-1
Aufrufs-2
Weddings-7
Life-21
___________________________________
To be or not to be?
Be-10
Not to be-3
That is the question-5
Who cares about Denmark?-14
___________________________________
Pease Pudding
Hot-3
Cold-2
In the pot nine days old-14
___________________________________
Lag B'Omer means to me...
Bad Guitar Strumming-7
BBQ-5
Real Music-3
Parade-2
___________________________________
What is an appropriate response to terror?
Wringing of necks-21
Wringing of handkerchiefs-4
Wringing of hands-1
___________________________________
Who is your favorite Sefirah artist?
the Friedman Clan-9
Yosef Karduner-3
Lev Tahor-2
Kol Zimra, Six13-1
___________________________________
If one finds Chametz in a matza box while setting up the Seder plate, does one
burn your mashpia-31
burn your chametz+burn the entire box of matza-5 each
call your mashpia-1
__________________________________
When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie,
13-that's amore
8-that's a matzah, that's a bore
1-that's a law
_________________________________________
What's your favorite aspect of Pesach?
14-4 cups of wine
5-Matza
2-Tahalucha
1-Elijah's Cup
_________________________________________
Does the RCA Hanhala need a backbone?
27-They have hanhala?
6-Yes.
3-No.
_____________________________________
Does your mashpia approve of your actions?
14-I hope so.
12-Who has a mashpia?
4 each-Sometimes, No.
3-Yes.
2-Not sure.
___________________________________
How often do you listen to your mashpia?
21-Who has a mashpia?
14-100% of the time.
5->50% of the time.
__________________________________
Do you have a mashpia? (courtesy of YYR)
12-Yes.
9-The truth?
7-No.
4-That's none of your business.
________________________________________
Should the Taaruvos test be before Pesach?
20 -Yes.
4-No.
_____________________________________
Can it happen (VD"L)?
22-Yes.
4-No.
_____________________________________
Which is Lipa's best CD so far?
5 each-Lipa Baderech, A Poshite Yid.
4-Keinehora.
3-Likro Et Hahalell
2-Non Stop Lipa
_________________________________________
Should TRS spend more time in Yeshiva?
13-Yes.
7-He has no chance anyway...
5-No.
3-He's so smart anyway...
______________________________________
Will Taaruvos be harder than Bassar B'Challav?
13-How should I know?
8-Yes.
6-Depends.
3-No
____________________________________
Does Rabbi Chaim Schapiro read TRS?
8-Yes.
6-Go pack your bags TRS.
5-No.
_______________________________________
Do you like TRS' hat? (Jan '4. 09)
7-Wear it on first date
6-Yes.
3-Wear it to wedding.
2-No.
1-I'll buy TRS a new one.
__________________________________
Have you ever been inspired by TRS?
11-Define Inspired
8-Yes
4-No
___________________________________
Vus Meint Chassidish?
19-Group Think
6 Each-Smashed Hat, Lots of Alcohol, Ego ___________________________________
Cheshvan-What do you think?
35-It is what it is
7-Unpack your bags
4-Depressing
3-Boring
_____________________________________
What's the best thing about Sukkos?
10-Eating in the Sukkah
6-Eating in the rain,
4 each-Simchas Beis Hashoevah, Not sleeping in the Sukkah
2-The High Holy days are over.
___________________________________
Did you do Teshuva yet (prior to Yom Kippur '68)?
13-Working on it,
5-"Is Moshiach here yet?"
3-No
3-Have I sinned?
2-It's none of your business
1-Yes
___________________________________
Is reality broken?
12-"What kind of fool question is that?"
7-"Whose reality?"
4-Yes
1-No
___________________________________
Elul: By you what is it?
10-Beginning of school
7-A good time to repent
5- "Shofar, Sho Good."
3-"By David, Hashem is my light"
2-"Trembling Lubavitch Fish,"
1-Sad to see that school is starting.
___________________________________
15 Av: By you what is it?
6-Marriage
4 each-No Tachanun, On Shabbos this year-who cares, "Ma Zeh 15 Av?"
1-Heralds shorter days
____________________________________
Which CD did you miss most in the 3 weeks? (111 votes!)
42-Lipa's A Poshite Yid
16-Avraham Fried's No Jew will be left behind
12-Lipa's Likro Et Hahallel
10 each-8th Day's Brooklyn, MBD's Efshar Letaken
9-Abie Rottenberg and Shlomo Simcha's Aish
7-Yehudah Gilden's Harei Yehudah
4-Yossi Green's The 8th Note
____________________________________
What is the coolest place to go on Merkos Shlichus?
8-Perth
7-each Bulgaria and Namibia
5-Argentina
4-Kazakhstan
2 each-Canada and New Mexico
____________________________________
Can you think of a better poll than this one?
13-No
5-Yes
____________________________________
What's your favorite Shavuos food?
12-Cheesecake
1 each-Blintzes, Cheese Danishes, Sushi, and Fleishiks
0 each-Penne a la Vodka, pizza.
____________________________________
What CD will you listen to when Lag B'omer rolls around?
5-Yossi Green's 8th Note
2-Avraham Fried's Forever One
1 each-Lipa's Keinehora, Yosef Karduner's Road Marks the Whole, Avraham Fried's Chazak
____________________________________
What's the best thing about Pesach Sheni?
5-Matza
2-Only have to eat a little
0-Rosh's Farbrengens
____________________________________
Do you listen to music during Sefira?
13-No
6-Those who do are sinners and will burn
6-Yes
2-Why not?
2-I'd get depressed if I couldn't
1-Not stringent when it comes to mourning.
____________________________________
Is this the end of the world as we know it?
3-Could care less
2-Yes
2-No
1-I don't know
____________________________________
Which is the best Matza?
6-Crown Heights Matza
3 each-Boro Park, Your basement
1-Montreal
0 each-Kfar Chabad, Chicago, Russian ____________________________________
Which is the hardest to clean for Pesach?
7-Kitchen
6-Going to Florida
4-Children's bedrooms
2-Own bedroom
1-Car
0-Basement
____________________________________
What's your favorite Hamantaschen filling?
5-Poppyseed
1 each-Apricot, Chocolate, Raspberry, and Strawberry
____________________________________
What will you be drinking this Purim?
7-Benedictine
1 Each-Dry red wine, Sweet bubbly wine, Absolut, Glenlivet, and Full Throttle
0 Each-Smirnoff, Glenfiddich, Makers Mark, Bottled Water
____________________________________
Who won't win this year's (2008) Presidential Election?
5-President George W. Bush
3 Each-TRS, The Almighty Editor
2 Each-Hilary Clinton, Dick Cheney
1-Bill Clinton
0 Each-Barack Obama, John Mccain, Our Gallant Leader
____________________________________
Which is the more exciting Shechita?
6-Cows
2-Goats
1 each-Chickens, Turkeys
____________________________________
Which is worse?
8-Wicca
5-Communism
____________________________________
If a man speaks in a forest, and there is no woman present, is he still wrong?
7-Men are ever wrong?
3-Men are ever right?
4-Yes
1-No
____________________________________
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?
2 Each-Funny, Makes no sense, EP get a life, TRS get a life
0-Not funny
____________________________________
Are the recent polls Chassidish?
9-Yes
7-No
____________________________________
Your favorite condiment?
1o-A1 Steak Sauce
9-Honey Dijon Mustard
8 each-Wasabi, Tachina
5 each-BBQ Sauce, Olive Dip
4 each-American Mustard, Ketchup, Chrein, Soy Sauce, Chummus, Matbucha, Turkish Salad
3 each-Mayo, Chatzilim
2-Relish, Ginger, Lox (Yoni)
________________________________________
Your favorite cold cut?
6 each-Pastrami, Corned Beef, Tongue, Smoked Turkey
3 each-Salami, Bologna, Roast Beef
2 each-Turkey Roll, Turkey Pastrami
27-They have hanhala?
6-Yes.
3-No.
_____________________________________
Does your mashpia approve of your actions?
14-I hope so.
12-Who has a mashpia?
4 each-Sometimes, No.
3-Yes.
2-Not sure.
___________________________________
How often do you listen to your mashpia?
21-Who has a mashpia?
14-100% of the time.
5->50% of the time.
__________________________________
Do you have a mashpia? (courtesy of YYR)
12-Yes.
9-The truth?
7-No.
4-That's none of your business.
________________________________________
Should the Taaruvos test be before Pesach?
20 -Yes.
4-No.
_____________________________________
Can it happen (VD"L)?
22-Yes.
4-No.
_____________________________________
Which is Lipa's best CD so far?
5 each-Lipa Baderech, A Poshite Yid.
4-Keinehora.
3-Likro Et Hahalell
2-Non Stop Lipa
_________________________________________
Should TRS spend more time in Yeshiva?
13-Yes.
7-He has no chance anyway...
5-No.
3-He's so smart anyway...
______________________________________
Will Taaruvos be harder than Bassar B'Challav?
13-How should I know?
8-Yes.
6-Depends.
3-No
____________________________________
Does Rabbi Chaim Schapiro read TRS?
8-Yes.
6-Go pack your bags TRS.
5-No.
_______________________________________
Do you like TRS' hat? (Jan '4. 09)
7-Wear it on first date
6-Yes.
3-Wear it to wedding.
2-No.
1-I'll buy TRS a new one.
__________________________________
Have you ever been inspired by TRS?
11-Define Inspired
8-Yes
4-No
___________________________________
Vus Meint Chassidish?
19-Group Think
6 Each-Smashed Hat, Lots of Alcohol, Ego ___________________________________
Cheshvan-What do you think?
35-It is what it is
7-Unpack your bags
4-Depressing
3-Boring
_____________________________________
What's the best thing about Sukkos?
10-Eating in the Sukkah
6-Eating in the rain,
4 each-Simchas Beis Hashoevah, Not sleeping in the Sukkah
2-The High Holy days are over.
___________________________________
Did you do Teshuva yet (prior to Yom Kippur '68)?
13-Working on it,
5-"Is Moshiach here yet?"
3-No
3-Have I sinned?
2-It's none of your business
1-Yes
___________________________________
Is reality broken?
12-"What kind of fool question is that?"
7-"Whose reality?"
4-Yes
1-No
___________________________________
Elul: By you what is it?
10-Beginning of school
7-A good time to repent
5- "Shofar, Sho Good."
3-"By David, Hashem is my light"
2-"Trembling Lubavitch Fish,"
1-Sad to see that school is starting.
___________________________________
15 Av: By you what is it?
6-Marriage
4 each-No Tachanun, On Shabbos this year-who cares, "Ma Zeh 15 Av?"
1-Heralds shorter days
____________________________________
Which CD did you miss most in the 3 weeks? (111 votes!)
42-Lipa's A Poshite Yid
16-Avraham Fried's No Jew will be left behind
12-Lipa's Likro Et Hahallel
10 each-8th Day's Brooklyn, MBD's Efshar Letaken
9-Abie Rottenberg and Shlomo Simcha's Aish
7-Yehudah Gilden's Harei Yehudah
4-Yossi Green's The 8th Note
____________________________________
What is the coolest place to go on Merkos Shlichus?
8-Perth
7-each Bulgaria and Namibia
5-Argentina
4-Kazakhstan
2 each-Canada and New Mexico
____________________________________
Can you think of a better poll than this one?
13-No
5-Yes
____________________________________
What's your favorite Shavuos food?
12-Cheesecake
1 each-Blintzes, Cheese Danishes, Sushi, and Fleishiks
0 each-Penne a la Vodka, pizza.
____________________________________
What CD will you listen to when Lag B'omer rolls around?
5-Yossi Green's 8th Note
2-Avraham Fried's Forever One
1 each-Lipa's Keinehora, Yosef Karduner's Road Marks the Whole, Avraham Fried's Chazak
____________________________________
What's the best thing about Pesach Sheni?
5-Matza
2-Only have to eat a little
0-Rosh's Farbrengens
____________________________________
Do you listen to music during Sefira?
13-No
6-Those who do are sinners and will burn
6-Yes
2-Why not?
2-I'd get depressed if I couldn't
1-Not stringent when it comes to mourning.
____________________________________
Is this the end of the world as we know it?
3-Could care less
2-Yes
2-No
1-I don't know
____________________________________
Which is the best Matza?
6-Crown Heights Matza
3 each-Boro Park, Your basement
1-Montreal
0 each-Kfar Chabad, Chicago, Russian ____________________________________
Which is the hardest to clean for Pesach?
7-Kitchen
6-Going to Florida
4-Children's bedrooms
2-Own bedroom
1-Car
0-Basement
____________________________________
What's your favorite Hamantaschen filling?
5-Poppyseed
1 each-Apricot, Chocolate, Raspberry, and Strawberry
____________________________________
What will you be drinking this Purim?
7-Benedictine
1 Each-Dry red wine, Sweet bubbly wine, Absolut, Glenlivet, and Full Throttle
0 Each-Smirnoff, Glenfiddich, Makers Mark, Bottled Water
____________________________________
Who won't win this year's (2008) Presidential Election?
5-President George W. Bush
3 Each-TRS, The Almighty Editor
2 Each-Hilary Clinton, Dick Cheney
1-Bill Clinton
0 Each-Barack Obama, John Mccain, Our Gallant Leader
____________________________________
Which is the more exciting Shechita?
6-Cows
2-Goats
1 each-Chickens, Turkeys
____________________________________
Which is worse?
8-Wicca
5-Communism
____________________________________
If a man speaks in a forest, and there is no woman present, is he still wrong?
7-Men are ever wrong?
3-Men are ever right?
4-Yes
1-No
____________________________________
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?
2 Each-Funny, Makes no sense, EP get a life, TRS get a life
0-Not funny
____________________________________
Are the recent polls Chassidish?
9-Yes
7-No
____________________________________
Your favorite condiment?
1o-A1 Steak Sauce
9-Honey Dijon Mustard
8 each-Wasabi, Tachina
5 each-BBQ Sauce, Olive Dip
4 each-American Mustard, Ketchup, Chrein, Soy Sauce, Chummus, Matbucha, Turkish Salad
3 each-Mayo, Chatzilim
2-Relish, Ginger, Lox (Yoni)
________________________________________
Your favorite cold cut?
6 each-Pastrami, Corned Beef, Tongue, Smoked Turkey
3 each-Salami, Bologna, Roast Beef
2 each-Turkey Roll, Turkey Pastrami
Blog Archive
-
▼
2009
(245)
-
▼
August
(27)
- Shallow waters
- What's that you say?
- SOS from London
- Free associations... (slightly expurgated for cont...
- Ze Narrative
- The River
- Lord Washington
- Charlie and Karl on the course
- The Hero Drank the Chocolate
- Misunderstood
- "What regiment is this?" " First Minnesota," repli...
- This space for sale-contact TRS for details
- TRS in Yosemite
- American Involvement in Australia During WWII
- The Designated Hitter in Baseball
- The young think
- All it takes is love
- Black and blue
- Joshua's call from the past
- Hot gartel, eh?
- Lurve Lurve Lurve!
- Golden
- Pithy fools
- The Right Shtuff
- Healthy is as healthy does
- It's been a long time coming, and it ain't ending ...
- Secret journeys of menessness
-
▼
August
(27)
92 comments:
What an absolutely horrible video. Why haven't you responded to comments on yesterday's posts yet?
Kraus frankly, is screwed. The less attention we give to this disturbed man . . . the better.
He's bounced around from one camp to the next, and until he get's treatment, our greatest mazal will be for him to leave.
See comments here for more details.
He scheduled the post and hasn't been online.
a devoted blogger you are marrying.
OK why isn't anyone tznius? What the heck is going on here?
Ahhhh I am having serious Tzfat flashbacks... I can't handle it. I'm going to have nightmares tonight.
It doesn't bother you that he just made "kiddush" on 17 tammuz? It's the erva that's what sticks out to you in that video?
-LE7: Read the comments of that article I linked to.
-Menashe: it could be she didn't chap the date.
Menashe - I didn't watch the whole video before posting that comment. I just finished right now.
An emise chosid shote. Literally the yetzer hara in a kapota hat and gartel.
Really disturbing. What is going on here exactly though? Where are they? Who are these people? I read the comments in the article but they weren't that revealing (at least the ones I understood).
If you're not convinced this guy's missing a bunch of brain cells watch as he puts tefillin on a 5 year old:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCvpEyIqJVI
Why are there turds on the table?
Why didn't he cover the challah?
This one is giving me great kavana for davening maariv.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mS0j6crfqNc
I just want to know why.
I've heard rumors of such folk. First time I've seen a video of it.
those rumors started about 250 years ago. Now thanks to this guy, they're true!
I've heard about such people too. An emese chosid shoteh is right.
I wonder if there's any truth to those comments that Mottel linked to about him inviting all the women to join him in the pool because all laws of tznius and nidah and tznius have been abrogated by yemos hamashiach. Better yet, I want to see the videos ...
I just realized you have to click on the comment to read it.
Meaning, I wonder if he actually wrote this comment responding to "Ruti Schwartz" who alleges that he invited her into a pool with him in order to liberate her and open her to God:
# תגובה לרותי, ולכל צוות דתילי הנפלא
יואל (05/08/2009)
רותי היקרה, היה לנו כיף איתך, את מוזמנת לבוא שוב. אבל נדמה לי שלא את זו שכותבת כאן, כי איתך אני מתכתב במייל, אז למה את מגיבה כאן נגדי? אגב, גם התגובה הקודמת שהיתה כאן בשמי היא לא שלי. יש כאן דיסאינפורמציה מוחלטת מצד אנשים שלא יכולים לעכל את האור שאני לבדי זכיתי לחוות. אני כבר בדין ודברים עם המשטרה שתטפל בכל האנשים האלה שכותבים בשמי דברים. אני עומד על כך שהמשטרה בישראל לא מענישה מספיק וביד קשה אנשים ארורים מהסוג הזה. אני כבר בקשר אינסטנטיבי עם כמה חברי כנסת כדי להחיל חוק בממשלה שחייבם לתת עונש מאסר לכל מי שכותב נגדי דברים באינטרנט. לגופו של ענין: אני לא אמרתי לך להכנס רק איתי לבריכה אלא ביחד עם שלומציון, מירב, נולי ואיתי וזה כבר משהו אחר. אני לא ניסיתי לשכנע אותך לילה שלם אלא רק הסברתי לך את שיטתי החדשה שכיום כבר אין דברים אסורים וכל דיני צניעות ונידה, כי כיום הכל כבר אחרת ממה שהיה פעם. העולם כולו מואר לגמרי. כל בני אדם וחווה כבר מוכשרים להפנמת האור הטוב שאלוהים נתן באדם הראשון ולכן אין הבדל בין דתות, בין יהודים לגויים וכד'. זה הכל חשיבה שהיתה נכונה בשעתה. לא כיום. ולכן גם דיני צניעות וכל דיני כשרות התבטלו מאז. לגבי הכסף אני לא רוצה לדון בפורום כזה, אבל את מבינה שאנו זקוקים לכסף ולכן אנו מזמינים לביתינו אנשים כדי להרוויח כסף ולהמשיך לגלות את האור. אנחנו חיים מהכסף הזה, הולכים איתו לפאבים ולמועדוני לילה לחבר בין כל בני אדם וחווה. אבל זה לא למטרות רווח רגילות. את רוב הכסף אנו בין כך מקבלים ממליארדר יפני שרואה בפעילות שלנו תיקון עולם ללא קשר לדת וגזע. אני אמרתי לך שאם היית חיה לפי המנהגים שלנו ולא עושה הבדלים בין גברים לנשים ולעשות הכל ביחד וללא כל מחיצות, אז לא היית צריכה לשלם, אלא היינו מסתפקים בכך שתטפלי לנו בילדים ותנקי את הבית לפי תורנות, כי אנו משפחה אחת שחיה ועושה הכל ביחד. את עדיין חסומה ממה שהכניסו לך בראש קודם לכן, את צריכה להיפתח לגמרי והביגוד המיותר והאיסורים מכבידים עלינו מאד. אני פונה כאן לכל הגולשים: תנו לאור להגיע אליכם. הפסיקו לפתח חסימות. הביגוד והעיסוק באיסורים הוא החסימה הכי גדולה, תפתחו לטוב, תפתחו באהבה אחד לשני ללא הבדל למי ומתי ואיך. כל העולם מלא באהבה, צריך רק להפנים אותה אלינו (אמר את זה הנביא אושו). רק אהבה! רק חשיפה! רק שמחה! רק חופשיות! באהבה יואל בן פערל של כולכם אגב, אני יודע שהמימסד הרבני לא סובל אותי. אני מודע לזה, אבל אני ממשיך להביע את כל דעותיי באורח של קבע באתר שלי אני מפרסם את כל מה שכתבתי כאן. כל מה שכתבתי כאן לקחתי ממה שפירסמתי שם. יש לי מטרה לפרסם את דעותיי כי אני רואה זאת כמהפיכה היסטורית שלא היתה עוד מחטא עץ הדעת. אני זה שהגורל הטיל עליו את התפקיד הכי חשוב באנושות להביא את האור כי טוב.
Forget about kiddush--you say boreh pri ha-gafen every time you drink wine; but I sure didn't know you could say shehecheyanu for shiv'ah asar be-Tammuz.
As I recall, you may not say Shehechyanu during the Three Weeks. But then, all the rules have changed ....
Nice video, eh?
No. Thank G-d this moron has no following.
For those that can benefit from a translation of Kraus' supposed letter, I got bored. Bear in mind that it is unclear whether he actually wrote this.
Dear Ruti,
We had fun with you and you are invited to come again. However, I imagine that you aren’t the one who wrote here because I correspond with you by email – then why would you reply here against me?
Incidentally, even the previous comment here in my name was not mine. There is a complete “disinformation” here by people who cannot digest the light that I alone merited to enjoy. I’m already dealing with and speaking to the police to deal with these people who are writing words in my name. I’m standing (?) on this that the police in Israel do not punish enough and with a strong hand the cursed men of this type. I am already in incentive (?) talks with many members of the Knesset in order to enact laws that the government has to mete incarceration punishment on anyone who writes things against me on the internet.
To the matter at hand: I didn’t tell you to enter the pool with me alone, but also [to enter with] with Shlomtzion, Meirav, Nuli and me, and this is already something else. I didn’t try to persuade you for an entire night, rather I only explained to you my new view that today there are no longer any forbidden things and all the laws of tznius and nida – because today everything is different from what it once was. The entire world is lit up. All children of Adam and Eve are already prepared for the internalization of the good light that God gave Adam Harishon and therefore there is no difference between religions - between Jews and gentiles, etc. This was all a concept that was correct in its time. But not today. Therefore, all the laws of tznius and kosher are canceled from then.
Regarding the money, I don’t want to deal with it in this forum, but you understand that we require money and therefore we invite people to our house in order to profit and continue to reveal the light. We live with this money, go with it to pubs and night clubs to befriend all the children of Adam and Eve. But this is not with the goal of regular profits. Most of the money we receive from a Japanese millionaire that sees our activities a Tikun Olam without regards to religion or race. I told you that if you would live according to our customs and not make differentiations between men and women, to do everything together and without and Mechitzos, then you would not need to pay. Rather we would be satisfied that you would take care of the children for us and clean the house by (?), because we are one family that lives and does everything together. You are already blocked by what has entered your head before this. You have to open yourself up entirely – extra clothing and prohibitions weigh heavily on us.
I turn here to all the web-surfers: allow the light to reach yourselves. Stop developing blockages. Dressing and dealing with forbidden things are the greatest blockages. Develop for the good, develop love of one another without differentiating who when and where. The world is full of love, you just have to turn it to us (the prophet Ushu said this). Only love. Only exposure. Just happiness. Just liberation.
With love,
Yoel ben Perel
Incidentally, I know that the rabbinical establishment cannot stand me. I acknowledge this, but I continue to express my views in a permanent fashion. On my website I publicize all that I wrote here. All that I wrote here I took from what I publicize there. I have the goal of publicizing all of my views because I see this as a historical revolution which hasn’t occurred since the sin of the Tree of Knowledge. I am the one upon whom the lottery fell with the most important human task to bring the light that is good.
Is it really appropriate to post a blog entry about someone with such serious problems? It is unkind to publicize other people's embarrassing imperfections when it is not necessary to do so.
It would be unkind if this person wasn't already posting videos of himself.
Menashe: Well, each to their own.
Nemo: I don't believe he would actually write this. But who knows?
Anon: I was merely highlighting this person's excellent clothing choices.
All together now:
יחי אדוננו המלך שבתי צבי צור ישראל וגואלו
ברוך אתה ה אלוקינו מלך העולם מתיר איסורים
Anyone know any other famous Sabbatian lines?
There is a guy in nashville who looks kind of like a belzer and wears a white gartel. Not crazy like that though.
No, not to each their own! This is NOT ok. It has to be completely rejected for the kefira that it is. It is not just his own mishigas unless he gets roundly rejected by the entire jewish world.
I have problems with mishichisten. I have bigger problems with tzfatim. But that's all stuff I am reluctantly willing to overlook. This is unacceptable.
Sebastion: Crazy? This guy lives in a gorgeous house in Ibiza! He can't be that crazy...
Menashe: What makes you so certain that you're correct?
You know... I've always wanted to go to Spain.
-TRS: Time for a reality check. It may be 'cool' and 'intellectual' to play philosophical games about what relative truth is, if we exist whatever. But when it comes to real kefira, cut the crap and call it what it is . . . pretending and playing games makes this work.
le7: Me too.
Mottel: Who knows? In fifty years maybe this guy won't be such a big kofer? After all, so many accepted Shabsai Tzvi...
-TRS: Shabsai Tzvi was followed and today he's known to be a kofer . . . So your logic falls through.
Not at all. Look at another example, like chassidim. Back in the day people thought chassidim were kofrim...
Are you seriously in some weird backhanded passive-agressive way defending this nut? Or comparing him to chasidim? We go linfim mishuras hadin and this guy lost sight of the line a long time ago.
I am, in a decidedly non weird backhanded passive-agressive way, defending this nut. And I am in fact comparing him to chassidim. Perhaps I'll explain in tonight's post.
Its ok, mottel can be in charge of the angry mob deparment and burn em at the stake for us. Death to the crazy fakers!
Why, what are they faking?
I cry foul! TRS, this guy is in the line of shabsai tzvi and frank shr"y but not chassidim.
I'm sorry, but no matter what you say chassidim did not abrogate halacha like this sicko!
Again, pretending to philosophically argue for kefira is not cool.
Mottel: Izbitza. In fact knowing what I do of the Lohner rebbeschaft, I read Ibiza as Izbitza in the first time around and I thought "what? they're still around?"
Mottel: You say this guy doesn't keep halacha. Misnagdim said Chassidim didn't keep halacha. What's he difference?
b/c chassidim really did keep halacha, unlike this dude. please trs. that was a silly retort.
TRS: B/c Misnagdishe claims were proven to be false. Even if one were to claim that certain things were indeed wrong (zman tefilah etc), they don't put one ouside the realm of Orthodoxy . . . Not keeping the ta'anasim, and noch erger - living a life of giloi ari'os is a true breach!
mottel, you brought up my pet peeve. Chassidim's disregard for zman tefillah is pretty close to kefirah. They ignore clear halacha due to completely non-halachic considerations. Sounds very similar to this nut.
TRS-You can defend his right to his own view of things, and to practice whatever "religion" he wants. BUT to say that his actions are a valid expression of Torah is completely false, as he obviously has no regard for Torah law. It's one thing to act crazy within the parameters of halacha, it's another to blatantly do away with kashrus and tznius.
There is a beautiful view from the porch!
e+Mottel: And if misnagdim had won the war...?
C: Whose Torah law? Read my latest post please.
And yes, he does have a gorgeous moshiach sign there.
pulleez. if misnagdim won the war, they'd SAY that chassidim sat in the pool with ladies and whatnot, but that wouldn't mean that chassidim actually did that. But this guy really does sit in the pool with ladies.
I did read it, before I saw this video. When I said Torah law, I meant what is written in Torah. I specifically did not say Orthodoxy, Chassidism or Rabbis because like you said, everyone will always have their own way to explain things. But when Torah says straight out not to cook a goat in his mother's milk and this guy says there are no more kashrus laws... well we have a problem.
Shall I continue, or do you get my drift?
e: Nu, I'm sure he has his reasons.
C: OK, so he says there's no more Kashrus. According to the Talmud, when Moshiach comes, there will be no more Kashrus. According to this guy, Moshiach is already here. So what's the problem?
Hey I thought Torah wasn't supposed to change - just the world.
The only reason pork will be kosher is because pigs will change, not the law.
He says Moshiach came in 1992 and Moshiach is the Rebbe.
Was the Rebbe no longer makpid on kashrus and tznius for the last two years of his life? Did the Rebbe tell people not to fast anymore?
His philosophy is inherently flawed.
Pigs will change to what?
Pigs will start chewing their cud.
C: Sorry to break it to you, but after 27 Adar...
le7: Where does it say this?
Where does it say Torah is going to change with the coming of the messiah? That sounds like some JC business.
That wasn't the point. The point is, where does it say that a pig will chew its cud?
I dunno. Go ask Rabbi Taub. I mean if we are going to be able to eat piggies because they'll be kosher... then it needs to chew its cud no?
Better yet... let's ask the rabbi! Where is e?
It's a medrash.
-E: Given that devning after zman tefilah/chatzos is completely asur (though if g'dolei haposkim (the chassidishe ones l'chol hapachos) were melamed zchus is another issue), one who breaks such a law may be a sinner, but is still an orthodox Jew. Sleeping with multiple Nidahs, and G-d knows what else, is not Judaism.
-TRS+LE7: It's a medrash. 'Lamah nikra shemah Chazir? Sh'asid l'hachzir etc.' or something to that extent. The Rebbe however, said very clearly that it's impossible to take it k'pshuto, and that it ultimately refers to Malchus Romi sh'nidma l'chazir.
But I was looking forward to bacon.
I didn't try it before I started keeping kosher and I think I might have missed out. That was my only consolation.
le7: Why? Who said that the laws of Kashrus won't change? Or won't apply?
Mottel: Who said he had relations with multiple niddahs?
Isn't like the Teyreh eternal or somethin'?
TRS: If those comments, including his, are to be believed, then he did.
In regards to davening after the zman, does not one mitzva preclude another? That is to say if the reason that one is davening after the zman is due to learning in order that they have proper kavana for their davening, then is it not okay? That is the reason the zman is disregarded, is it not? To (mis)quote my father, it's not so we can all sleep in, but so we can learn a bissle chassidus.
le7: 'Tis. With caveats, of course.
Mottel: I have a friend who knows him personally...from what I hear it's lav davka...
Qtap: Precisely. Hence the Rosh's famous story with the Soloveitchiks, based on the Rambam.
So famous I have no idea what you're talking about.
Basically, the Rosh went to visit one of the Soloveitchiks who lived in Israel in the afternoon, and his wife wouldn't let the Rosh in the door. The Rosh barged in, and he was shocked to see the Rabbi davening in Tefillin! He inquired, and the Rabbi answered that he Rambam holds that if you can't daven before the zman because you are ill, or because you can't concentrate, or whatever, then you should wait until you can concentrate and then daven.
Ah, thanks.
re: rosh and Selvetchik, it couldn't have been late in the afternoon. It must have been after zman tefillah but before chatzos.
I don't know the Rambam, but I know that the Alter Rebbe says to wait until you can concentrate, even if you'll miss *zman tfillah.*
Qtap: blah blah blah. I heard all the reasons why chassidim daven late. but those are all non-halachic reasons. Halacha is very clear on the matter. You're just like this niddah-f*cking rabbi. you both invoke spiritual stuff to ignore halacha.
Mottel: the magnitute of the sin is much smaller, but the "tzad hashavah" is that both entail ignoring halacha.
-E: Again my focus is on what takes one outside the pale of Orthodoxy
So what takes one out of the pale of orthodoxy? Are there certain sins which take you out and certain sins which don't? Or does it depend on your attitude towards halacha?
Qtap: My pleasure.
e: Well, that's how I heard the story. Go ask the Rosh.
Mottel: Who decides what takes one outside the pale of orthodoxy?
TRS: The 13 ikkarim are a good place to start . . .
it's a start, but it's far from a finish...
to repeat, is it the magnitude of the sin, or is it the attitude towards halacha? Or perhaps something else?
Mottel: And wonder of wonders...there's machlokesin about those too! Sure, maybe we all accept them nowadays, but back in the day?
e: what do you think?
i think it depends on your attitude towards halacha.
As in, does Halacha define Judaism or does Judaism define Halacha?
both. before i write an essay to explain it, please be so kind and tell me: were you asking because it sounded smart, or were you asking because you wanted to know?
-Trs: Wonder of wonderous wonders! Hence my words as it being a good place to start.
Sounded smart, eh?
But honestly, yes, I would like to know what you think on the subject.
Mottel: No, you have to debate the very validity of those principlies...
also, why no engagement on last night's post?
halacha defines judaism: the most essential aspect of judaism is observing halacha. hama'aseh hu ha'ikar etc. So the definition of good Jew is "one who follows halacha."
Judaism defines halacha: all the non-halachic aspects of Judaism affect halacha. Some kabbalisitic/spiritual things are mentioned in Shulchan Aruch. Some (like praying shacrhis after chatzos) are not.
Nice answer. Is it your final one?
final answer to that question.
You win our prize! 1 million dollars!
Post a Comment