Sunday, October 7, 2007

Do you understand?

On Tuesday night I read the entire book of Devarim (Deutronomy) and the entire book of Tehillim (Psalms). Wednesday night I made Kiddush. On what you ask? Frozen Absolut. Big mistake. I took one sip and I couldn't breathe. The stuff was almost as bad as "Simcha" Wine, which I did choke on, because it's as thick as maple syrup. Lesson is, make Kiddush on lukewarm Absolut, which I did on Thursday night. Friday I got smart and made on Smirnoff. Shabbos got me back to the whole saying thing, with the whole Tehillim and the whole Chitas of Bereishes too. Almost no time to do Shnayim Mikrah of Bereishis. Correction: there was no time. Was that a trite literary trick, overused to the point that even I feel sick using it? But what of it. Anyway, I'll be finishing up that Shm"ot before Tuesday. Missing from all this is some solid dancing and singing (I got hoarse before the first Hokafoh was done on Shemini Atzeres), eating, Farbrening, a little sleeping, even some flirting. Just kidding, there's no one to flirt with in this great state. Believe you me, I looked.

Which brings me to another issue. Something quite momentous happened in Shul on Friday. My reporting it would involve several names. Sure, it's quite entertaining, but do I really want this blog to become like the other seventeen million "Jewish" blogs and write about stupid local politics? And again, the names. Would it be fair to put these people's names online for all the world to see? OK, so it's not like all the world is reading this blog, but a quick Google would turn them up in no time.

Actually, I just did a quick search and came up with some great stuff on the main players. Mainly, on the main player: Rabbi Asher Zeilengold. Firstly, a slightly personal quibble. I Davened Maariv on Shemini Atzeres for the Amud. I started off with the Rosh Hashanah Niggun, getting all the way through Kaddish when, right before Borchu, he walked over to me and notified me that I was Davening with the Rosh Hashanah Niggun, and that he'd help me with the rest of Davening. So essentially he was Chazzen. Firstly, this was rather embarrassing.
Secondly, I had at least three members of the Shul come over to me and tell me that I was not singing the wrong Niggun. Thirdly, every year we sing this in Shul, for various Yomim Tovim, and there is nary a peep heard from our esteemed leader. But that wasn't what got me. It was the fact that he Davened Maariv the next night with the Rosh Hashanah Niggun. How sick is that?

Anyway, I think that's as far as I'll go with this whole thing. I'm rather tired, as usual, and I've lost the patience to deal with all this.

How's that for a disappointing ending?

6 comments:

le7 said...

That's sick! You sing in tune and everything right? Maybe Milwaukee will thank us if we spend Sukkos there! (Even if for some reason you remember it not being that bad when you were a wee child - think again, it's bad).

The Real Shliach said...

Yup, it's sick. Yup, I sing in tune (I think). I'm sure Milwaukee will be grateful (they better be). I never really spent Sukkos in Milwaukee, we were always in Mequon (which incidentally I remember as being absolutely incredible, but then later when we went back wasn't so hot).

le7 said...

I mean as long as we have places to eat Sukkos in Milwaukee is incredible and last year Simchas Torah was pretty rocking too (even though I was like watching and stuff).

The Real Shliach said...

Why wouldn't we have places to eat? We'll be the hottest couple in town!

le7 said...

Excellent point. We'll just have to make it known that we'll be in town.

The Real Shliach said...

Sounds like a plan.